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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leaving toddler in the car to go into a shop.

202 replies

lbsjob87 · 01/02/2017 20:04

During discussions over dinner about our day, OH mentioned he'd popped into the Post Office to post an EBay parcel.
I said to DS "Did Daddy take you to see Postman Pat?"
He said "No, I in car".
DH then said "I was in and out in two minutes and I could see him all the time, it was quicker than getting him out."
Knowing the shop in question, this is possible, but even so, is it reasonable to leave a 2 year old unattended for even a few minutes? He had to get the parcel weighed so couldn't just drop it in the postbox.
He says he can't see the problem, and it's no different to paying for petrol and leaving him to go and pay.
(I try not to get petrol when DCs are in the car, and take them into the shop if it's unavoidable).
AIBU?

OP posts:
Parietal · 01/02/2017 22:19

a child is often safer in a car than walking through a parking lot where they can easily be hit by a moving car. The only risk is if the child tries to get out on his/her own. If that is not an issue, i wouldn't have a problem with it.

Gwenci · 01/02/2017 22:28

I'm pretty laid back about most things as a parent and think nothing of being in one room while DC (2 and 3yrs) play in another, but I just couldn't do this.

I don't judge others who do but like a pp, I just couldn't do it when it came to walking away. And it's not actually that I worry so much about anything happening to the DC in the car as I think that's unlikely, I worry more about something potentially happening to me and my DC being abandoned in the car and no one knowing who they are or who they belong to.

As I say, don't judge others who are comfortable doing it but wouldn't myself.

dingdongthewitchisdead1 · 01/02/2017 22:37

I do it if it's a shop where I can see the car from the inside.. like our local garage. Wouldn't do it if car was out of sight... like Tesco or the like of.

AndNowItsSeven · 01/02/2017 22:43

That was last Wednesday.

AssassinatedBeauty · 01/02/2017 22:45

YANBU, I haven't and wouldn't do it.

Silvertap · 01/02/2017 22:50

I did it all the time until that Kimbolton story.

Bubbinsmakesthree · 01/02/2017 22:54

It's not risk-free, but then what is? Most accidents happen in the home. Having a hot cup of tea with a toddler around is far more dangerous but I never hear people saying "I just couldn't possinly risk it" when it comes to making a brew.

I try to avoid scenarios where I need to leave my toddler in the car, as much because he's likely to be distressed as anything else. But sometimes it makes much more sense e.g. leaving them for a minute whilst you get the pay and display ticket from the meter.

mummymummums · 01/02/2017 22:58

I've never done it and I don't think YABU to be upset

witsender · 01/02/2017 22:59

I would, and have.

Nannewnannew · 01/02/2017 23:00

So presumably all the pps saying that it is far too dangerous to leave a toddler in full view, and in a locked car, never, ever take their children out in their cars because there were nearly 1800 fatalities on U.K. Roads in 2015!!

BaileysAddict · 01/02/2017 23:00

Madhatter If you don't have kids, why are you on Mumsnet? Genuine question. Not trying to be rude x

witsender · 01/02/2017 23:01

There's plenty of chat here about non parenting related topics. Why is it worthy of note?

Reality16 · 01/02/2017 23:02

I don't understand why anybody would do this.

Zippidydoodah · 01/02/2017 23:03

I've done it. Feel very ashamed now, though!

Usernameinvalid16 · 01/02/2017 23:04

I wouldn't. My dd can undo her buckle. If i need fuel i use a petrol station that has a pay at the pump option. Anything can happen.

Runningbutnotscared · 01/02/2017 23:04

It's fine, honest. There are lots of things that constitute neglect and risky behaviour, leaving a happy child in a safe environment for a few mins where you can see them is not neglect or risky behaviour.
Unless you are very unlucky, in which case buy a lottery ticket to even out the balance.

mortificado · 01/02/2017 23:05

I always do this Blush plus 1 million££ or a kid? I know what I'd take Wink

MadHattersWineParty · 01/02/2017 23:06

Well, Baileys, lots of people on Mumsnet don't have children. Some are not even Mums but are Dads! some are going through IVF and desparetley want children but sadly don't have any. Are they okay to be on here?

It's a forum for all kinds of things isn't it? Not just talk about children. It's not a club you can only be in if you've birthed a child, as far I'm aware.

To answer your question, though- I'm a nanny, hope to have kids one day, soon as I'm not getting any younger and I find it entertaining and informative.

MrsDustyBusty · 01/02/2017 23:06

I wouldn't do it, mainly because I would feel that she might be upset and feel abandoned. She probably wouldn't care but I just couldn't risk her being distressed when there's no real necessity.

Applesauce29 · 01/02/2017 23:11

I don't see the issue if he could see them at all times. I've done this before (to get parking ticket, return trolley etc). Sometimes it's just easier than having toddler, who is likely to bolt in my case, in and out of car and walking around car park. You have to weigh up all risks.

yogalatte · 01/02/2017 23:18

I wouldn't ever leave a toddler on their own in the car. I don't think it's worth risking.

AndNowItsSeven · 01/02/2017 23:20

I don't drink hot drink when with my toddlers bibbin.

Prompto · 01/02/2017 23:27

Our local petrol station has a policy of no under 16s allowed on the forecourt. If you want to get your DC out of the car then you have to park up along the side (marked bays) before going in to pay for your fuel. If you leave your car at the pump and get them out then you get a snappy tannin announcement informing you to get them off the forecourt/back in the car and to park in a bay before going in to pay.

Prompto · 01/02/2017 23:28

*snappy tannoy announcement