Toddler behaviour and food on floor in cafe... AIBU?

[NettleCake]

DD is 18months and won't sit in a highchair for more than 5-10 mins (screams, stands up and tries to climb out!)

We have lunch out most days. Mainly cafes and coffee shops. DD runs off constantly to explore, so I end up chasing her, apologising as she gets in people's way. If the cafe has toys she'll play with them for about 5 mins then loses interest.

What do other mums do? We have things on in town most mornings and afternoons, so too far to go home for lunch.

Also she's very messy, throws food on floor, shakes juice etc. I pick up as much as possible but I'm busy chasing her or holding onto her so often leave some of the mess.
I've had a few cross looks from staff. Am I supposed to ask for a dustpan and brush? If I restrain her in buggy/highchair while I clean the floor she'll scream. DH says not to worry about the floor.

How do we eat out without upsetting people... and how long does this stage last?

Are you doing too much and overstimulating her? It's a tough age. At that point I had to use reins to keep mine in a highchair to stop them throwing themselves out. We only went to places with quick service where we ate and went ASAP. No lingering! Fortunately mine were keen on eating. Yes to cleaning up afterwards.

It's definitely tougher at this time of the year when outdoors is not a pleasant option.

Why do you need to eat out everyday? Sounds unpleasant for all involved

If it's classes for your toddler hen I'd say cut either the morning or afternoon ones. Even with my older children eating out is pretty stressful. I wouldn't want to do it every day. I'd eat on the hoof or in the car if that wasn't possible.

Wow, you sound horrible.

I hope you tip well.

Agree, I wouldn't be happy if I was having lunch with kids running around.

Yeah I think there's a stage between now and about 3.5 where you just don't eat out really. As others have said, sandwiches in the pushchair less stressful and cheaper - not worth paying to be stressed surely.

When they get older you can distract with pens & paper etc but at this age they're just too wriggly!

You have the type of child which doesn't do cafes which, sadly, means you don't get to do them with her in tow. I had two of those children, as did one of my friends, we just couldn't eat in cafes until they were older.

The workaround is packed lunch sandwiches for both of you. Just give her small pieces at at a time so she can't get them all over the place.

I stopped eating out when DD went through this stage or made sure that it was strictly a sit down, eat and leave affair, no chatting etc no fun for anyone otherwise. Yes, you do clear up the mess.
It does pass eventually. And definitely no letting a baby/toddler loose in a cafe.

I always ask for extra napkins and placed them open on the floor on either side of DS to catch the majority of the food. Hes better now, but he's now 2.5 yes and I still would only eat out if I had someone with me to tag team and help out if needed. Otherwise it's picnics.

I scolded my arm once service soup because someone let their toddler run round in a café. If it hadn't been my arm (permanent scar) it would have been the childs face. Kid run around in parks, Play areas, Not cafe's OP.

Once my dd1 was past the baby stage I stopped eating out with her until she was old enough to sit on a proper chair and behave. It's a nightmare for the parent, the child, the other customers and the staff. If we had to have lunch out I would make up a picnic.

You absaloutly must clean up after yourself and not let her run off. That is a massive safety issue in a cafe with hot food and drinks.

I sympathise as my DS was the same. You should definitely just bring food with you and give it to her in her buggy. You can't really let a toddler run around a cafe - it's dangerous and disruptive. It's a relatively short period of time that kids can't sit still in restaurants so it won't be forever but probably best to avoid eating out (unless it's a kids venue) until she grows out of it.

I would stop eating out "most days" even if that means being at home more. I have groped round on the floor after peas and mash before now (including in the Sainsbury's cafe where the staff member came over and told me not to worry because it was her job), I think it's about showing you're willing to clean up after your child.

I would agree about the child toddling thing. If she runs into someone with a tray with 2 mugs of coffee on it the adult will feel terrible that she's been scalded but in letting her run around I'd argue it'd be your fault.

Get your DD some toys or books that she only has in a high chair and get them out. Eat as quickly as you can and make sure she eats in a high chair at home. She's screaming in a high chair because she knows you'll let her out to walk when she does so. she'll be tired / hungry but there's also an element of learned behaviour in this.

I don't know why people have to say 'you sound horrible'. Just another mum trying to work stuff out. Sometimes it feels like everyone else CAN eat out with toddlers there's just something wrong with you/your kid.

Wind it in.

Picnics in park are a good idea, will try that once weather gets warmer.
Only indoor place I could feed her a picnic is the indoor precinct but there's nowhere to sit and she'd still throw things.

She has a nap from 10-11am but then no naps until bedtime. She won't read books at all, just wants to grab and throw them!

I do pick up big bits of food from floor and give highchair table a quick wipe.

Yes out every day on my non work days, groups in morning then swimming or class in afternoon. Tend to have lunch with friends so a shame to miss it. Their toddlers don't seem as hyperactive as DD and tend to sit nicely in highchairs.

Why eat out every day for lunch if it's so stressful and unpleasant (and dangerous!) for not only you, but the cafe staff and other patrons?

If you have a morning activity in town she's probably tired, so don't prolong the agony by eating out. Do lunch when you get back, or if she won't last that long without eating take some buggy snacks that she can eat on the way home.

Doing a class/activity in town both morning and afternoon is a bit much, especially at that age. They need a nap and some down time. Pick one or the other.

You haven't said but if you are leaving a huge mess, you should probably leave a huge tip as well. Makes a big difference in how welcome the staff will make you feel. The other customers will still be annoyed of course.

Some good advice on the rest of this thread - best is to change your schedule so this isn't a daily event until the child is more mature.

Doesn't sound like fun for anyone.

Going out for lunch is just one of those things I had to skip when dd2 was about the same age. You can't do everything - having lunch with a child that age can sound lovely in my reality it was a sweaty, panicky, noisy, tear inducing twenty minutes and that was just me. Sandwiches, fruit in the pram or lunch in a park was our solution.
And yes to a quick tidy up with napkins & baby wipes.

My youngest is 21 months and we rarely eat out now and only if my husband is there to help. He doesn't like the highchair either so it's a waste of money and pointless. If we have to eat out somewhere for a family meal or whatever then I let him watch Peppa Pig on my phone as it's the only way he will stay still.

He will sit nicely at his little table and chair set at home and I sit next to him and eat which is far easier and more enjoyable. We do occasionally eat at soft play type places but they've seen it all there so I don't worry if he kicks off.

Our routine is an activity or group on a morning from around 9.30 then home in time for lunch at 12 then down for a nap which lasts most of the afternoon then pick older child up from school. He couldn't cope with morning and afternoon activities and no nap, he'd be a nightmare. We sometimes go to the supermarket or visit family once school run is done but he's rested then so it's fine.

I think eating out should be on hold until your dd can enjoy it more and wants to sit and eat. Doesn't sound like fun for either of you.

Oh and I remember eating out being much easier from 2.5 with my older son. He could be persuaded to colour in or whatever then.

Yes you ask for a dustpan and brush if your dc haso made a proper mess. Why wouldn't you? shock angry

Because what do I do with DD while I'm asking for brush/sweeping? She'll run off causing chaos or scream in buggy/highchair.

At home she eats in highchair but I let her get down as soon as she's finished. She runs around while we finish eating.

Maybe see if any of your friends fancy the park for a change? There's no reason you have to wait until the warmer weather so long as it's not freezing or wet and the children are well wrapped up.