AIBU to take my baby girl out of nursery after seeing her 'key person' push a crying baby twice?

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My little girl is 10 months and started nursery only a month ago! She had a hard time getting settled and I sometimes found her shaking and in tears when I was coming to get her in the evening. Something that had never happened before. She always was a happy baby!
I put it down to her not being used to new people, other babies, noise, a different routine etc.. but something strange was that my girl was friendly and holding her arms to other staff members except her key person at nursery. I found this woman quite rude and cold and she was making me uncomfortable but I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt.
So, after a month, my LO was finally getting settled, but...this morning when I brought her to nursery, I caught the care giver red handed: she was sitting on the floor staring at a crying baby (8 months old) and she pushed him quite violently with her hand, he fell backwards and then found his balance back sitting, but started screaming (more of being scared than in pain I think) and she pushed him again! She had no compassion at all, and just looked like she just didn't care/was annoyed at his crying! It lasted a few seconds and then she saw me. She wasn't even apologetic or flustered. She just stood up and started getting the breakfast ready. She even had some sort of defiant look in my direction and didn't say Hello or Good morning as she usually does! She just shouted at another staff member to pick my daughter up from my arms! It was like she was pissed off I had caught her!
So I debated all day about what to do and felt sick in my stomach thinking she might be abusive to other kids, and my LO, and tonight, I said that my girl was not going to come back.
When she asked why, I said that I was looking for a new nursery ( I didn't want to confront her as she scared me) and she didn't probe more. It was obvious that she knew why I was taking my girl out, and the only thing she said was: 'You know you have to mention it 4 weeks in advance and we'll keep your payment for February?'
She didn't even fake she was going to miss my LO (she fakes 'loving her' and 'her being so cute' every evening)
I took my girl and said I was going to come and pick her things tomorrow. I intend to come and report the incident to the nursery's director at the same time. However I am conscious that there was no one else who saw this woman's behaviour and it is her word against mine!

Sorry for the long email, so all in all, my questions are:

1. AIBU to take my LO (who just settled in) out of this nursery by fear she might not be cared for properly (or abused)?
2. AIBU to report this incident/this woman to the director?
3. Should I inform social services or is it too much?

Thanks for your advice/help!

How is not challenging someone abusing a child in front of you "doing the right thing".

Report this immediately. Set up a meeting with nursery manager, describe what you have seen and tell them that you will be removing your child from the nursery as a result. They need to deal with that person asap.

I live in Surrey. My train journey is only half an hour if I manage to get a fast train, but it's an hour on the slow trains. Fortunately I live quite close to the station at the home end. But my office is in the City and it takes me around 20-25 minutes to walk from the terminus station to my office. There is a bus but the roads are so clogged it takes around the same time but is less predictable so I usually walk. There are no useful tubes.

It is really not far fetched.

Glad you've reported - this is terrible ... can you imagine what else she does when she thinks nobody is looking

It's just the incredible sheer bad luck of it all.
I assume she's reported to police by now, anyway.

How is not challenging someone abusing a child in front of you "doing the right thing". Because we aren't all bloody perfect!

OP has challenged them now, steps are being taken, offical reprisals are in motion.

Why the hell would anyone choose to berate OP as though she was the one abusing a small child?

It is nasty reactions like that that scare many people into close their eyes and walk on by. Don't report in cae you get tarred with the same brush! Well there you go! Mumsnet Vipers at their very fucking worst!!!

Shame on you!!!

God OP, I'm so sorry that you experienced this. I feel like crying my eyes out. I'm putting my DS in nursery for a few days in a few months when I go back to work and this kind of thing terrifies me.

You have done the right thing. I completely get why you were hesitant about reporting it there and then, sometimes you see something so shocking that it takes time to digest "did that really just happen?".

Evil cow . If you can't cope with kids crying then get yourself another flippin job, there's plenty out there!!

OP when you see the manager can you please describe which baby it was you saw getting pushed (they should be able to easily identify him if she was his key worker) and demand that the poor baby's are told what you saw. They deserve to know

i've never seen anything like this in 6 years of having DC in childcare. I do understand how you can make bad decisions to leave your DD when trapped, and glad you've reported. TBH, I'd tell the other parents personally, some things would trump data protection for me, I'd want another parent to do the same. I hope you manage to sort out better childcare.

Actually I think you should demand that every parent of each of the babies under that key workers responsibility should be informed of this. There's a strong chance their babies have also been abused

Agree Derlei !

I doubt this is the only baby this has happened to. I would want every child's parents made aware of this

I'm in SE and if I had to get public transport for my 13 mile commute (20 mins in a car) it would take me around 1.5 hours each way - at the least.
With no car transport at all I can well believe it takes 3 hours.

Sorry you are getting a hard time OP when you just wanted some advice.
But you are doing what you need to do now.
I hope the nursery get rid of this vile woman and you are able to keep her there. I would imagine they will be extra precious with your LO from now on.

Ignore the goady people.
I hope your meeting goes OK later.

Op ignore the piss taking twats. The nursery have protocol to follow with an allegation the same as if it happened in a school. She has to do a statement etc.

Well done x the ofsted report is easy to find online and you are doing the right thing.

Genuine question, would it not be most appropriate to get the police involved? Physically attacking/abusing a child is a crime first and foremost. Or is it more appropriate for the manager to report it?

I had similar - I walked in early one day to nursery to see a key worker with her back to me yelling at a toddler, then noticed with even more horror that it was my toddler that she was yelling at.

I understand your reaction because I too was in shock and it didn't quite register what I'd just witnessed. Toddler ran to me sobbing and KW tried to act friendly and as if I hadn't caught her red handed. I didn't address it at that moment, purely because I didn't trust myself not to go berserk at her. I sobbed when I got home though. And DP said I was right to just leave rather than have it out with her and he would have had to do the same.

The next day I was on a day off and DP and I went into the nursery to talk to the manager about it. I'm happy to say that we were taken VERY seriously indeed, and it was made clear to us that what we witnessed fell far short of what the manager expects from a childcare worker. The KW got a written warning and I suspect was put on a PIP and managed out too because she was gone after a few months. She was the one in the nursery with lots of qualifications in childcare too. Because it was dealt with so well, we had faith that our nursery was overall a good one and that this was one bad apple who was never rostered in DS's room again.

So write the report, and send copies for Ofsted and Social services. You are doing the right thing taking your DD out of there - unless of course the manager restores your faith too by getting rid of this awful woman.

OP, well done for reporting. I too commuted with my baby to the city for two years. Dont worry about people questioning it, they will most probably have no idea what life is like for parents in and around London. It is rather amusing how people take only your commute from your serious post. Very naive.

OP I know a lovely nursery in the city if you need a new one.

kronut - please don't worry about this. It's very very very very uncommon for nurseries to be like this, most are fabulous places where LOs thrive and love attending

OP - very unusual for a manager to promise to get rid of a member of staff on the back of a phonecall from a parent. Much more usual would be a promise to investigate immediately, and possibly including suspending the staff member whilst that is concluded

OP ignore all the crap about your commute. People just don't understand what it is like working in London and trying to afford somewhere to live close enough by. The house prices rocket anywhere that is easily to commute from.

It's £475k for a run down, two-bed, terrace house in my commuter town in Surrey. We're in one of the closest Surrey towns to London and it's still a 1.25 hour commute and that's working right in the city and living 10mins from station.

I'm glad the nursery is taking your concerns seriously. It's just so scary that someone like that would want to work with children.

Wow I can't believe this! I work in the baby room of a nursery and it makes me feel sick. I adore the children I care for, as do my colleagues.
To be honest, as a parent if I saw this I'd have had it dealt with there and then. I'd have asked to speak to a manager right then, don't give a fuck if I was supposed to be in work or not!
It's extremely rare my manager isn't in the building, if she isn't then the deputy is, if he isn't then both room leaders are.

If you've reported it to the manager then it is their responsibility to report it to ofsted. You need to tell her you will be reporting to ofsted, it looks better on the nursery if they inform ofsted before you do.

Honestly can't believe it!
Parents please do not think this is how all nurseries work!

Ideally you should have reported her to the manager there and then, not left your daughter under her care for the day. But whats done is done.

Report her asap. There is no excuse for this behaviour under any circumstance!

YABVU for not reporting this immediately to social services, her manager and ofsted! think of the parents of the poor 8 month old.

find some new childcare, report this cunt, and OFSTED
and complain to the Nursery as professionally/ompartially as you can

and don't panic OP

honestly, some people are just fucking plain nasty

well done for reporting and I hope the director will come through. There is nothing worse that having to leave your baby with somebody or somewhere you are not sure about. Take care of yourself.

OP. Hope you are having an ok day and that the nursery manager takes appropriate action.

I have missed what is happening today? Have you arranged alternative care or are you having to take time off. If so I would ask thst they expedite matters, refund you any days where tour child isn't there and indeed if you are paying more for short term care that they refund the difference.

I admire you for carrying on working and foing the best for your DD

Ex nursery worker here. Most nursery workers love the job despite the crap wages however like any job there are bad eggs.

I had an incident myself. Picked dd up on her second birthday from nursery early one day unexpectedly, no call home or anything.

Told when I arrived dd had banged heads in the play ground with another toddler. Was expecting a bump to the head but found dd with her eye completely closed, swollen and bruised and bloodshot So bad I went to A and E.

I recounted the story to A & E who triggered an investigation as the injury did not match the explanation. They thought I had done it and was using nursery as a cover. Only when the nursery was contacted did the hospital back off.

In the doctors opinion it looked she had been punched.

Reported to Ofsted and pulled dd out. She is a teen and still has a scar

I would advise anyone in this situation to report to Ofsted.

Why has this derailed to a defence of her commute?!

I can totally understand your shock and walking away from the scene and digesting it later.

I know what it's like to be here with no support. You sound utterly dedicated to working your way into a better situation so I just wanted to say fair play to you I think sound like a marvellous mum. Good luck sorting it with the nursery. Speak your mind, just like you want to.