AIBU to take my baby girl out of nursery after seeing her 'key person' push a crying baby twice?

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My little girl is 10 months and started nursery only a month ago! She had a hard time getting settled and I sometimes found her shaking and in tears when I was coming to get her in the evening. Something that had never happened before. She always was a happy baby!
I put it down to her not being used to new people, other babies, noise, a different routine etc.. but something strange was that my girl was friendly and holding her arms to other staff members except her key person at nursery. I found this woman quite rude and cold and she was making me uncomfortable but I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt.
So, after a month, my LO was finally getting settled, but...this morning when I brought her to nursery, I caught the care giver red handed: she was sitting on the floor staring at a crying baby (8 months old) and she pushed him quite violently with her hand, he fell backwards and then found his balance back sitting, but started screaming (more of being scared than in pain I think) and she pushed him again! She had no compassion at all, and just looked like she just didn't care/was annoyed at his crying! It lasted a few seconds and then she saw me. She wasn't even apologetic or flustered. She just stood up and started getting the breakfast ready. She even had some sort of defiant look in my direction and didn't say Hello or Good morning as she usually does! She just shouted at another staff member to pick my daughter up from my arms! It was like she was pissed off I had caught her!
So I debated all day about what to do and felt sick in my stomach thinking she might be abusive to other kids, and my LO, and tonight, I said that my girl was not going to come back.
When she asked why, I said that I was looking for a new nursery ( I didn't want to confront her as she scared me) and she didn't probe more. It was obvious that she knew why I was taking my girl out, and the only thing she said was: 'You know you have to mention it 4 weeks in advance and we'll keep your payment for February?'
She didn't even fake she was going to miss my LO (she fakes 'loving her' and 'her being so cute' every evening)
I took my girl and said I was going to come and pick her things tomorrow. I intend to come and report the incident to the nursery's director at the same time. However I am conscious that there was no one else who saw this woman's behaviour and it is her word against mine!

Sorry for the long email, so all in all, my questions are:

1. AIBU to take my LO (who just settled in) out of this nursery by fear she might not be cared for properly (or abused)?
2. AIBU to report this incident/this woman to the director?
3. Should I inform social services or is it too much?

Thanks for your advice/help!

That's awful and of course YANBU on both accounts.

Personally I'd think any nursery where this can happen is not a place I'd want my child to be, even if they fire the guilty staff member. If she is so flagrantly hurting a child in front of a parent surely the other staff would have seen similar?

I feel sick about it too.

olliplimsoles and disabrie22: I was sick all day. I had absolutely no choice but leave her in today. I live 3 hours away from nursery (which is near my office) I am a single mum and I have no family here. I tried to rationalise it all day thinking I must be dramatising and it was just a small push.. but it clearly wasn't. There is no way I am putting my LO back there, but I am stuck though: I have no childcare arrangement and need to work FT to provide. Fortunately (if you can say so) a friend of mine just lost his job and is happy to take care of baby this week. I need a new nursery/childminder for Monday!!

esk1mo: No CCTV, no! It's a small 'family-business type' nursery.

Parents should look out for eachother. The child's parents have a right to know. Please tell them asap.

I would also report it without a doubt.

There was a huge scandal here in Ireland a few years back, someone brought a camera into a creche and recorded the workers with the children, it was absolutely shocking what was going on, the police were called and it was all a huge investigation with court cases etc. The poor babies, everyone was devastated after watching it.
Parents were still leaving their children in a few days later because they were stranded for childcare! Unbelievable!

Anyway, there are two types of wrong, the person doing the wrong and the person who sees it and does nothing.

You saw it and you owe it to that little baby to tell his parents and make sure that woman is kept away from him and others. You have to speak up. Sorry you are going through this.

Remove immediately.

I regretfully left my two for a further 6 weeks after I had concerns. Still feel guilty now years later.

Thank you all. I will speak to the director tomorrow and report her. I have a hunch that parents have complained about this woman before just by talking to the director in the past.
I feel very guilty I left my girl there today. I think this woman actually is abusive when no one is watching and I don't think other staff members know. She was alone in the room with 3 babies when pushing this child, and the other staff member was in another room.

I feel sick reading this too! Please please for the sake of all those poor babies and parents report it as high as you can go!

I will name the child in question to the director and hope she will inform the parents. I don't know them. I have seen them once I think, and I may not see them when I pick up my LO's things tomorrow.
I am a bit concerned that the director won't do anything. Should I inform Ofsted? The borough's childcare information website advised I contact social services.

You will be believed. Speak out even if you can only whisper, get the words out and keep strong , you will be glad you did the right thing.

Hi OP..
I have worked in a few nurseries, and have been a room leader with all age groups. Sadly I have come across a few staff members like this before, and it is so hard to prove it. I am now a SAHM. This was my choice, as since I have worked in those environments I have never felt comfortable leaving my son in a nursery myself. They aren't all bad though, don't worry! I suggest you ask to speak with the nursery manager immediately, and if not satisfied with the outcome demand to see the director. You have every right to contact OFSTED also, personally reporting her, but you should make management aware of the incident first. The only thing that may go against you is that you left your LO in the staff members care for the day, after you witnessed the incident, without addressing it straight away to management. If you decide to move your LO to another nursery I advise you to find one with CCTV in all rooms, and you will never find a staff member that will treat your LO like that. Hopefully the staff member is dealt with, and your LO will not have to leave the nursery she has settled into xx

You know, before you even got to the pushing part I was thinking you should take your child elsewhere.
To find her shaking and crying when you collect her is really awful. An unsettled baby should be in the arms of a carer or being rocked/pushed in a pram. It's a ratio of 3:1 for babies that age and if all 3 of their babies are unhappy at the same time I think it would indicate poor care over all.

I've had 2 children in nursery care from a young age and never saw upset babies being left alone.

Slightly off topic, but you live 3 hours away from the nursery? You commute 6 hours a day??? That's like travelling from Bristol to Manchester and back every day. If that is true, that in itself can't be good for your daughter or you. Can't you find a nursery / childminder and job nearer home?

JHMummy: that's scary!!!
I wanted to speak to the director or manager this morning but they weren't there! They weren't there all day! (I emailed them to say I was taking my LO out for good in the afternoon and no answer and they still weren't there when I picked her up)
I completely agree with what you say: I may not be believed as there is no proof. I will contact Ofsted though once I speak to the director. Everyone here is right, I need to!
I realise I should have done something earlier today. I should have confronted this woman and made a fuss. I got so scared of getting angry/emotional! I knew I had to leave my LO there all day today unfortunately and I didn't want this woman to 'exert revenge' on her, so I preferred to stay quiet until I knew my girl was out and safe.
I thought about informing other parents but I also thought: they obviously trust the nursery and this woman. No one knows me, I'm a new parent there. Who would they choose to believe? What would they WANT to believe?

I would believe you and I wouldn't take a chance with my child.

OP I work in a baby room in a nursery similar to your LO's age. Please, please, please report this woman to the managers and tell them exactly why you are taking your baby out.

This woman should not be working with babies. That is disgraceful behaviour and she showed no remorse when she saw you looking. Imagine how she must be when she isn't caught out.

I'd imagine all those babies' parents would indeed be very cross if they found out if that's how she treats their precious children. Please, for their sake, report this horrible person. Don't be afraid of her, she is paid to treat parents and children with respect. Clear she doesn't do that. I am actually very angry just thinking about it!

It can be tough going looking after unsettled children, yes. I myself have had to take deep breaths and count to 10 to calm myself down from feeling so flustered. After all we are all human. However, there is no, absolutely zero excuse for pushing a small, upset, innocent infant

You need to take your child out immediately. I'm sorry about the expense but your child is at risk. And I'm sorry but the right thing to do is to report it. Its awkward, but I'm sure if another parent was in your shoes, you would want them to report it.

MsJudgemental. I have a 2 hour commute (train + bus) and 2 half hour walks before and after. So yes, approximately 3 hours in the morning and 3 hours in the evening.
I know it's not good for my daughter (and I am exhausted too) and believe me I am trying to find a solution! But as I mentioned, I am a single mum, I have a mortgage and I have a good job which offers me some flexibility and a good salary to provide for my girl.
I am looking for a job closer to home but finding it hard, there is nothing in my area in my industry, and nothing that pays enough to allow me to pay for childcare and my mortgage.
Finding childcare close to my office is the best/most obvious choice (I could never be back in my town for the 6pm pick as I get home around 8.30pm!)

PrettySunFlowers, JackLottiesMum, everyone else: I agree. No excuse! I do understand how frustrating/tiring it can be to look after moaning or crying babies, but it's her job! If she has no patience, why is she doing this job? And worse, it wasn't 6pm at night, after along awful day. It was at 9.30am!!!! I will definitely report her tomorrow.

I wanted to speak to the director or manager this morning but they weren't there! They weren't there all day!

But somebody was in charge. If an incident like that were reported, then the person who was in charge in their absence would generally telephone them on their personal mobile, wherever they were.
I too am surprised you would see something like that - after all your earlier concerns - and then leave your baby there and go off to work.

It doesn't matter if you speak to OFSTED or your local Children's Safeguarding Board - if a child is being abused in a Nursery they will both refer to each other anyway.

Ollie, exactly what I was thinking!!

Good luck, OP. I have never quite forgiven myself for not reporting my dd's previous childminder to OFSTED (for complicated reasons - but still, I should have). You must take this as far as you can.

Let them know how upset you are. Don't let them fob you off with wishy-washy promises. Though any decent manager would take this very seriously, I know mine would!

Tell them first thing tomorrow Op, it's better you tell then sooner rather than later so they can sort it out.

Good luck. Do Let us know how you get on.