leaving kids behind to go on a two week holiday

[glasgowsfinest]

Have totally got my judgy pants on, but here goes! My cousin and his wife have gone off on a 16 day holiday to Sri Lanka, leaving their three year old and ten year old with her mum. It''s for his 40th bday.

Now, part of me would love two weeks without my DD's. But I know, in reality, I would miss them like mad after a couple of days. I've had three days away before and was so glad to get back to them in the end (but if five days in New York were on offer I think I'd take it!)

I'm judging for;
1/ two weeks is a lot for a 3yo to be away from his parents
2/ It's a big ask of a nan to look after two kids for over two weeks. She's fit and healthy, but is it not taking her generosity a bit too far?

I'm not jealous, BTW, although that may be how it sounds. Honestly I'm not.

So, MN jury, what do you reckon?

[LunaLoveg00d]

Don't have a problem with it at all. If you have someone you can totally trust with your kids (like your own mum) then it's win win all round - parents get a lovely break, kids get spoiled rotten, granny gets some time with the children.

We have always sent the kids to granny for a few days every year, sometimes we go away and sometimes we don't. 2 weeks is longer than we've done but if the kids are happy there's no problem.

People who are unable to be parted from their children - it's all about them, not about the kids. I think that kids grow up healthy and well-adjusted when they're exposed to a range of situations and if they're safe with granny/aunty/uncle/friend the only problem is the neurotic mother worrying and being anxious and needy, which in turn rubs off on the children.

[OrchardDweller]

Can't see what the problem is. They are with their grandmother.

[roofio87]

My 3 yo is going to stay at his grandparents for a week this summer while dh and I go to a wedding in Spain. He adores his Grandma and is already asking whem he gets to go and stay on his own. Some if my best childhood memories are the times spent staying with my grandparents without my mum and dad. Dh and I get to have a week with friends being us as a couple and ds gets a week being splilt rotten with his favourite person other than me or dh, im sure he will miss us but will be happy!

[bythewatersedge]

I think it's pretty bad, if I'm honest, and yes, I know I should be all 'ooh none of my business'.

[Anothermoomin]

When I was 10 I knew the difference between a fancy holiday and being shunted off to granny for a fortnight. I still do.

Hmmm two weeks with granny or a fun holiday? Who is getting the best deal?

Two weeks + is what, a third of most peoples annual leave? More?

I could have worked that out at 10 as well.

[Brighteyes27]

Only ever had two nights away with work when both were aged over 7 and a handful of 24 hours away with DH a handful of times after recovering from surgery, special birthday, friends wedding etc unless include 6 night enforced stay in hospital following major op. I have never had the opportunity but personally I would miss the kids like mad and even if had opportunity wouldn't consider more than 2-3 nights away even for a special birthday recovery from illness etc.

[MrsPeelyWally]

OP, I'm a granny who regularly has grandchildren to stay either at my house or their own when their parents go away.

You really don't need to be worried at all about me doing it because I love it and consider it the natural order of things, parents need the children looked after, I do it, and if for some reason I couldn't do it then one of their siblings would. It's how we work as a familiy.

Is 3 too young to be away from the parents? Perhaps if they were being handed over to a near stranger but I think anyone who has their grandchild for a fortnight is anything but a stranger to them. I'm sure the family have their dynamics well worked out.

Try to find something else to dwell on.

[MummysMaison]

We left my DDs with my parents when hubby took me to New York for my 30th. We were away 10 days.

[MrsPringles]

I'm going to Mexico in May for 10 nights and leaving 2yr old DS with his grandparents.

Mainly because it's our honeymoon (we got married last month) and a 9 hour flight with a 2yr old? No no no.

Will I miss him? Like mad. Do I feel guilty? No

And we're going to Disneyland Paris in the summer so he's still getting a holiday. He'll be spoilt rotten by MIL and will be absolutely fine.

[OllyBJolly]

I did it from when my DDs were very young. I was a single parent and the only way I could manage the school holidays was to park the kids with my parents for two weeks- sometimes more. They lived 200 miles away and then would take the kids camping at weekends even further away so weekend visits weren't an option.

Now in their 20s they still talk about what fun they had. Yes, I missed them but did they miss me? Maybe the first 10 minutes but not really. They were with people who loved them dearly.

[mummydoc123]

What works for one family may not work for another. We left our 5 year old in his own home with one set of GPS for one week then the other set of GPS for the next week to go on our honeymoon. He had school and continued in his own routine. We were a short flight away. Of course we missed each other but he doesn't appear scarred from the experience since he happily goes to stay at GPS house for week during school holidays - we don't have enough holidays from work to cover- and has a great relationship with both sets of GPS independent of his parents. Why is this so bad?

[gunnergirl]

I would have no problem having my 2 yr gdg for 2 weeks but I know my daughter would miss her and not leave her for that long also I work part time

[Bettyspants]

I wouldn't do it but I work full time and am struggling with a PhD I have horrendous guilt at the lack of time I have with my children. I definitely wouldn't want a grandparent to look after them for two weeks, a couple of days would be fine

[cooldarkroom]

Surely you are not just a parent you are also an individual.
I was bought up with parents who travelled together once a year & Iooked after by family friends, they had a daughter my age, so I was fine. Can't remember where my brothers were.
All around me, I know people who go on family holidays but once a year the parents take themselves off & have an adult holiday, this can involve, sleeping in, lying on a beach, climbing Mach Pichu, candle lit dinners.
The parents work all the time, when they are not working they are running around with school, homework, sport, meals, the typical slog. They never spend more than a few hours alone together.
IMHO, I think these precious children will eat you alive it idoes no harm that the kids see you as adults, know you also have needs, & the universe exists without you

[Coldilox]

We're planning on going away for maybe 10 days in 2 years for our 10th wedding anniversary. DS will be 4 and a half and will stay with PILs, who he adores. Don't feel any guilt, we have had family holidays and will have more, but looking forward to a lovely relaxing break with my wife. Will do us both the world of good. Of course we'll miss him, but it's only 10 days, and we've missed time as a couple too.

Judge away.

[KayTee87]

I wouldn't do it.

My dh and I have two nights away booked for when my ds will be 18 months and I really don't know if I will go tbh.

[LunaLoveg00d]

Surely you are not just a parent you are also an individual

Totally agree, but there are some parent martyr types who just couldn't do anything without their kids and who seem to measure their success as a mum/dad by the percentage of time they spend within 6 feet of their kids. Usually the same people who use #makingmemories and #blessed hashtags on social media...

[bibbitybobbityyhat]

Like most posters on the thread, I think some time away from the children is bloody brilliant! Two weeks though? I would never have even considered it for a moment.

[wisemonkey]

There are many practical reasons for not taking small children somewhere like Sri Lanka - high temperatures, long (expensive) flight, increased risk of upset stomachs and needing to take malaria tablets. It is a chance for GM to build a special bond and for the parents to have a lovely child-free break. What's the problem?

[KERALA1]

I get it when kids pre schoolers for some respite - ours 8 and 10 now and (generally) lovely we are already feeling pangs that they will be gone in 6/7 years and won't want to come away with boring parents so actually making the most of having them around. Will be many years when it's just Dh and I.

[bibbitybobbityyhat]

To be perfectly honest, infuriating though I've found them both at times, I would simply miss my children too much if I was away from them for two whole weeks. And Sri Lanka couldn't compensate me for that.

[Purplebluebird]

I would probably go for a week if my son was 6+ of age. Mine is 3 now and I wouldn't leave him at all yet, because he needs me for sleep! Imo 2 weeks is too long. However, I would try to just ignore you. Getting in a huff about it won't do you any good :)