Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

leaving kids behind to go on a two week holiday

163 replies

glasgowsfinest · 30/01/2017 21:59

Have totally got my judgy pants on, but here goes! My cousin and his wife have gone off on a 16 day holiday to Sri Lanka, leaving their three year old and ten year old with her mum. It''s for his 40th bday.

Now, part of me would love two weeks without my DD's. But I know, in reality, I would miss them like mad after a couple of days. I've had three days away before and was so glad to get back to them in the end (but if five days in New York were on offer I think I'd take it!)

I'm judging for;
1/ two weeks is a lot for a 3yo to be away from his parents
2/ It's a big ask of a nan to look after two kids for over two weeks. She's fit and healthy, but is it not taking her generosity a bit too far?

I'm not jealous, BTW, although that may be how it sounds. Honestly I'm not.

So, MN jury, what do you reckon?

OP posts:
Jiggeriepokerie · 30/01/2017 22:20

Two weeks with a loving member of the family would be fine. My parents left me and my brother for a week with a complete stranger (to me, not them - I hope). It still lives with me 40 years on!

WorraLiberty · 30/01/2017 22:21

Seriously? You start a thread on the internet, admitting your judgey and inviting complete strangers to judge your cousin too (or not as the case may be) and I'm being a bit mean? Confused

Have a word with yourself.

So 2 kids get to spend a fortnight with their gran.

It's hardly a shocker.

pipsqueak25 · 30/01/2017 22:22

my dc were always happy with arrangements of going to nans as they got spoilt rotten and then when we had our family holiday it was all the more special. only i've always needed an adults break esp when the dc [6] were young, although i love my dc with a passion my life has never revolved round them and we have benefited from that in many ways as a family.

Original poster
glasgowsfinest · 30/01/2017 22:22

Toastie yes I will not be discussing this in RL. Thanks for an alternative viewpoint MN, happy to revise my views, so you can take the braying lions from my door now Grin

OP posts:
aquashiv · 30/01/2017 22:24

Good for them.
I am sure granny will spoil them.

ProudBadMum · 30/01/2017 22:24

2 weeks with grandma is a huge lossy for the kids

I can't be doing with the whole 'I didn't go away without my kids til they were 45' bollocks

I went on holiday when my son was 10 month old. Did us both some good

BubbleWrapQueen · 30/01/2017 22:24

I have one to two weeks holiday without my children every year. Have done for 6-7 years. It's what happens with divorce tbh. I wasn't a shit parent for not seeing them for a week or 14 days. i manage that on a daily basis with them

Ollycat · 30/01/2017 22:25

I wouldn't do it (lack of opportunity and doesn't massively appeal) although I have been abroad on girls long weekends a few times. I know a fair few who have done what you're describing and everyone more then survived Smile

NotYoda · 30/01/2017 22:25

I think lions bay, not bray. Or actually, dogs bay and donkeys bray. MN wields pitchforks, or hisses in the manner of vipers.

Crumbs1 · 30/01/2017 22:26

Actually, I think 3 years is too young to leave for two weeks. Time enough when they are older.

NotYoda · 30/01/2017 22:26

Lions roar. I don't think they do it at doors though. Unless you live in Tanzania or something

Original poster
glasgowsfinest · 30/01/2017 22:27

OK WorraLiberty, I get it. yes that's right, but this is an anonymous forum, so no-one knows me, or the parents we're talking about, so I was just curious about if i was wrong for feeling judgy. at no point did I say they were bad people or that I was morally superior. MN is a good place to have a word with yourself, no? And that's what I have now done. Which was the intention.

OP posts:
3luckystars · 30/01/2017 22:27

No way would I do it but I don't care what anyone else does.

SheldonCRules · 30/01/2017 22:27

Not something I would do and i would feel sorry for the children. Most people get precious little annual leave so it would take a huge chunk away from the children.

Holidays for us are family time, plenty of time before children and when they leave home to go away without them.

Can't imagine telling mine we are going away but they have to stay home.

RandomDent · 30/01/2017 22:28

My parents used to do this, two weeks in Spain every September. My grandparents would move in with us. We thought it was brilliant. Still think it's a great idea. :o

pipsqueak25 · 30/01/2017 22:29

with you totally bluesky ime some friends have been so wrapped [particulary mums] up with their dc that dp /h gets nudged to one side and the relationship falls apart, one guy told me that he was an outsider in his own home as his wife wouldn't go anywhere/do anything without at least one dc in tow, when he said he wanted for them to go out as a couple there was always an excuse why she couldn't [child related] although family on both sides wanted to baby sit.

Blossomdeary · 30/01/2017 22:30

I guess it depends on the children's personalities, and also how well they know their grandmother - I think you should trust these folk to have taken all this into account.

Who knows - these children might have a cracking good time with their GM. They will certainly learn a lot about how others lead their lives and have different rules and routines. They might get a bit spoilt - but gran and children are likely to have a whale of a time.

stoopido · 30/01/2017 22:31

I couldn't do it because I would miss my children too much but I do envy people who can do it. I say each to their own.

7SunshineSeven7 · 30/01/2017 22:33

I could be wrong but it sounds like none of your business??

-They're okay with leaving their kids.
-The grandmother is taking them on.

Why not?

lalalalyra · 30/01/2017 22:33

Totally depends on the circumstances. My 2 13 year olds went on holiday with their grandparents for 2 weeks last year. That spurred MIL and FIL into saying "Actually, we'd like to do that" so they took the 7yo and 2yo away for 10 days.

Loads of people judged me for "going off on holiday without the kids" when actually I just didn't want to be at home without them!! All 4 had an absolute ball, but they all regularly stay with their grandparents already and are as comfortable with them as they are with us (they just get spoiled more!).

PantyLiner · 30/01/2017 22:37

I left my children with their grandparents while I went for weekends away. They also went away with their grandparents. I never went away and left them for 2 weeks but I have no problem with anyone who leaves their children with their grandparents to have a break.

I'm sure they wont be traumatised by being spoiled by grandparents they know and love for a relatively short time.

Gatehouse77 · 30/01/2017 22:38

My parents went to America for 3 weeks when we were aged 3, 4, 6 and 7 years. We had a temporary nanny and had a great time. I can still remember the village we made out of cardboard and paper.

No long term affects just good memories all round for the different things we did on either side of the Atlantic!

And all of travelled as 'Unattended Minors' from age 8 either solo or in twos and all lived to tell the tale.

pipsqueak25 · 30/01/2017 22:38

lala that's the thing, these are times when dc have the chance of developing a close bond with gps, it's fun all round, and gives the dc new experiences, mine used to love it, they are grown up but still go to stay with mum on a regular basis to have a different vibe from our very busy household Grin

SallyGinnamon · 30/01/2017 22:38

I wouldn't have done it. Even now when DC are in their mid-late teens I want them to be with us so that they enjoy it too.

Astoria7974 · 30/01/2017 22:39

She can do what she wants. Stop sticking your nose in other people's business

Swipe left for the next trending thread