AIBU to think I've just been put in my place by DS' girlfriend

[Butteredpars1ps]

DS has been away for a week. His GF texted earlier to ask if she could come round and cook a surprise special meal for them. Obv not a problem and she's a nice girl btw.

She has just asked me if DH, DD and I will be eating before them or after them!!! That kind of tells us to bugger off doesn't it? She's 16 FFS.

I'm going to have to keep on the right side of her aren't I?

Why can't she do it at her house?!

Say you didn't have plans to go out. If she wants a romantic dinner she should organise it at hers.

Why can't she cook him a meal at her house? I'd be very unimpressed if I were in your shoes! (I am a mean cow though)

I would not be impressed. But i don't have a teenage D'S.

Tell her maybe it's best she does it at hers (😒) if she wants the whole kitchen to herself. deffo a cheeky madam.

If she's 16, she's probably been agonising over how to ensure it's just the two of them and this is her inept solution.

Try not to take offence - she is (as you said) 16.

Sounds fine to me, she wouldn't be cooking for all of you and it'd be chaos having two meals being cooked at the same time?

She sounds very sensible

I don't take it as her trying to get rid of you at all, just trying to ascertain when she can start cooking without getting in each other's way.

Ah, I think she's actually rather clunkily trying to be polite! She probably said to her friends (or asked on GF-net), I asked if I could go and cook a surprise meal for my BF but I'm not sure if his Mum is expecting me to cook for all of them, what shall I say to check?

Bless. She's 16 and cooking him a nice meal. I would just say that you aren't going out but the kitchen will be free from whatever time works for you.

Well she did ask if she could cook a special meal for them and you said yes that was ok. We're you thinking she'd cook for you too? Or you'd cook separate meals and sit at the table at the same time? Sounds like she's sensibly thinking about timings. Why are people taking this as rude?

Or she might be politely asking which would be most convenient for you? Surely you weren't expecting to sit down to join the romantic meal?

If she's a nice girl who has had a thoughtful surprise for your ds I would give her the benefit of the doubt. You don't have to go out if you have a separate room you can use.

Why all the mean comments about doing it at her own house when there could be so many reasons? She asked the OP and OP agreed.

I dont think she's being intentionally rude :) if I were you op (sorry I know its your house) but would find out what time shes cooking and then maybe give them an hour or so totally private in the kitchen/dining room?

Make sure she knows the washing up is hers too!

I don't mean this to sound as blunt as it's going to, but....

What were you expecting? Obviously when she asked she was planning on it being just the two of them. She wasn't planning on making her and your DS one meal while the rest of the family sat with them eating a different meal!

I think her question was probably just to ascertain whether she needed to share the kitchen while she was cooking.

If she is cooking him a "special meal" it is surely obvious that she doesn't want to eat at the same time as you. She also probably doesn't want to get in your way while you're cooking. She is just trying to fit around you all so I'm not sure what is offensive. Strange that she isn't cooking at her house though as that would surely be easier to arrange.

Make sure she knows the washing up is hers too!

If she has cooked surely the OP's DS should wash up!

Wow. She's got balls!

But why can't they go to her house?

Ah I think that's sweet!

I think it's fine. She's not going to want to be under your feet while you are cooking your dinner.

I'm fairly sure the girl is trying to not be an inconvenience by making sure that she isn't in the kitchen at the same time as you.

I don't see any suggestion that she's trying to kick you out your house like some posters are saying.