AIBU to think I've just been put in my place by DS' girlfriend

[Butteredpars1ps]

DS has been away for a week. His GF texted earlier to ask if she could come round and cook a surprise special meal for them. Obv not a problem and she's a nice girl btw.

She has just asked me if DH, DD and I will be eating before them or after them!!! That kind of tells us to bugger off doesn't it? She's 16 FFS.

I'm going to have to keep on the right side of her aren't I?

She sounds very polite to me!
She text to ask you first and is checking when is best for you...
Maybe a miscommunication through texting?

I would let it go too - she's only 16, is trying to be polite and do something nice for your DS. The timings thing is probably her way of making sure she doesn't get in the way.

She's not been remotely rude, or even expecting anything other than you not eating with them which was reasonable anyway. But yes you should be buggering off - the buggering off part was the polite thing to do for your DS, as soon as you agreed to the cooking of the meal!

Poor girl, it really doesn't sound like she's a madam or putting you in your place. She wants to know if the kitchen will be free!

I'm assuming you wasn't going to join them for their romantic meal??

Nowhere does she say or sound like she expects you to bugger off! Just that she doesn't want you getting in each other's way both trying to cook at the same time.

She's 16, she's doing a nice thing for your son, cut the poor girl some slack!

Oh ffs she sounds lovely.

Welcome your kids girlfriends and boyfriends and be nice. She's just a 16 year old kid and really at that age do you see wheels within wheels.

put in your place nightmare mil op take care

That kind of tells us to bugger off doesn't it?

No.

It sounds as if she doesn't want to get in your way.

And she is probably not doing it at her house as she knows he will want to spend his first night home with his family rather than with her family.

She sounds nice.

Oh god what a shame. Sounds like your son actually has a really nice GF.

I think it's lovely of her to want to surprise him with a nice dinner - she must have missed him and be looking forward to seeing him.
I'd be tempted to give DS some cash and let them both go out for a meal on their own. (A modest meal i.e.)
But then I wouldn't want anybody messing about in my kitchen,
so it would be worth it.

I think to cover all bases I would probably say something like: we will make sure we're finished and out of the way by 8pm, so you can cook and DS can wash up afterwards at your leisure

I think it sounds more like she is thinking about the practicality and is subtly suggesting they would like to be alone when they eat. Surely that isn't too much to ask when she asked your permission first? Surely they can have the dining room to themselves - presuming you have one? Or kitchen if that is where you usually eat. I don't think she is being a madam at all. She seems to be quite thoughtful.

Some of the responses on here are from posters who are going to feature heavily on MIL threads of the future. Absolutely! I pity the future dils!!

She has just asked me if DH, DD and I will be eating before them or after them!!!

I had to come back and read this again to really feel the full comic force of the three exclamation points. Asking you when you intended to eat? What a fucking liberty!

Has she cooked at yours before? Made lunches or anything?

Exactly Oak.

Hardly 'Little Madam' behaviour. Blerg - I hate that term.

I think she's rude. If she'd phoned you and ask you if it would be ok to make a special meal just the two of them fair enough.

Some of the responses on here are from posters who are going to feature heavily on MIL threads of the future.

So true. I'd just text back and say, "No problem, love, we are going out to dinner so enjoy."

She did that, Buttered.

ButteredToastAndStrawberryJam: Seriously? She asked if she could cook a meal for her boyfriend and you would have assumed she meant for everyone rather than...her boyfriend? Isn't that a bit strange?

What happened?!

I think she was being very polite, and just didn't want to get in the way when you were cooking your family's dinner (or DH or DD cooking!). I doubt it would occur to her that you might think she was cooking for all of you.

She sounds really lovely.

Can't you find a way to accommodate her. It's a special
occasion, would be different if she did this every Saturday night or something f!

She sounds practical and polite.

I think you're reading stuff into it that isn't there.

Well, sent a text saying it would be for them.

would be ok to make a special meal just the two of them fair enough.

Surely "just the two of them" is superfluous to "a special meal"?

Who has a special meal with their bf and their Mum?