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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset at sister and mother?

125 replies

DebussyHead · 27/01/2017 20:47

I'm abroad on long weekend with DH for a special occasion. Asked DM to have kids whilst we were away which she agreed to do as long as my sister helped out. Kids are 6 and 4. We left Wednesday night back Sunday. Kids have in school thurs and fri.
Find out that DSis invited a new man she met on tinder to dinner at my house on thurs night. They met 14 days ago and she really likes him. She never mentioned that he was coming or would be meeting my kids.

Just found out he stayed overnight too with my kids and mum in the house. DH is furious. He has told DM over Skype and there has been a big fall out. DM and DSis think they have done nothing wrong and we are overreacting. I don't know this man from Adam. AIBU?

OP posts:
DeathStare · 27/01/2017 20:49

No you aren't being unreasonable. She has no clue who this man is and she brought him into your house with your children in it.

If she had to see him so badly she should have gone to his place

Mum2jenny · 27/01/2017 20:55

YANBU at all, totally inappropriate behaviour by your dsis.

FinnegansCake · 27/01/2017 20:56

YANBU

Doesn't your DSis have a home of her own? Or couldn't she have gone to his? I think what she did is very inappropriate.

Mulberry72 · 27/01/2017 20:56

Death

Absolutely that!

SparkleShinyGlitter · 27/01/2017 20:59

I think it's a bit soon I mean 14 days before she introduced him to her niece/nephew I wouldn't of been impressed either. She doesn't even know him yet herself

Does your sis not have a home? Somewhere else she could of taken him?

KarmaNoMore · 27/01/2017 20:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
DebussyHead · 27/01/2017 21:00

She is 30 and lives with my parents. He is in navy and stays in shared barracks. Apparently his windscreen was frosted up so my mum said he should just stay over. The guy detonates mortars for a living but can't handle a frozen windscreen. DSis texting me and DH saying how dare we upset DM and as if she would endanger my kids. She doesn't get it. She's ruined our night.

OP posts:
TheTroutofNoCraic · 27/01/2017 21:03

What the actual fuck?!!? I would be horrified! What kind of planet do you need to be living on if you think that is a wise move?
You are most certainly not BU!!

Original poster
DebussyHead · 27/01/2017 21:04

And I'm stuck in Dubai or I'd be straight over there. DSis and the new man have left now and are in an Airbnb for weekend. She had cheek to say even my 6 year old DD 'really liked him and asked when will I see him again'

OP posts:
TheTroutofNoCraic · 27/01/2017 21:06

Utterly reckless and irresponsible behaviour.
Surely they could have done the Airbnb thing in the first instance if they couldn't keep their pants on for one weekend.

Mum2jenny · 27/01/2017 21:06

I'd say the answer is 'never', sorry for your issues Flowers

MustBeLoopy390 · 27/01/2017 21:06

YANBU, I'd be livid and organising a more responsible adult to take over if I couldn't get back right away. They certainly wouldn't be trusted again.

llangennith · 27/01/2017 21:08

I'd be furious!

MustBeLoopy390 · 27/01/2017 21:09

Also DSis and man now going to an airbnb makes it seem like it was planned, rather than a 'frosted windshield issue'

Original poster
DebussyHead · 27/01/2017 21:10

Thanks all. My Dad is in charge now he's v responsible. DM and DSis have form for being victims and never in the wrong. I also got told I should be grateful they are doing me a favour. I'm gobsmscked and have told DSis I will not ask for her help again.
She does adore my kids but her lack of judgement has astounded me.

OP posts:
KarmaNoMore · 27/01/2017 21:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
DebussyHead · 27/01/2017 21:11

Yes I think it was planned too and the windscreen being frosted is total BS

OP posts:
Stormwhale · 27/01/2017 21:11

My God I would be beyond furious. They would never be trusted with my children again.

KarmaNoMore · 27/01/2017 21:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion · 27/01/2017 21:12

That's just wholly inappropriate! I'd be furious.

Angry YANBU.

Greenfingeredfun · 27/01/2017 21:12

But if you had a brother whose new girlfriend stayed over...? Would that be okay?

Stormwhale · 27/01/2017 21:12

Surely if your dad was there he could have put a stop to it? If so he is as bad as them.

Danglybits · 27/01/2017 21:14

Awful. YADNBU.

mummymummums · 27/01/2017 21:15

Blimey - talk about ruining your trip away. Quite astonishing.
You should show them this thread so that they MIGHT understand how very irresponsible they've been. Unfortunately sounds like they'll always see themselves in the right

MustBeLoopy390 · 27/01/2017 21:17

Can't answer for the OP but that would be a big no for me @Green. I'd rather meet these people first, regardless of gender.

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