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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that just because you're off work sick doesn't mean you cannot leave the house

243 replies

user1485342611 · 26/01/2017 11:00

Someone has just been complaining that they spotted a colleague who is off work sick for the week out and about in their local shopping centre. Apparently if they're well enough to do that, they're well enough to be in work.

One of the reasons a doctor will certify you off work for a week is to give you time to rest and take it easy as you recover from an illness. That doesn't mean you can't leave the house. There's a big difference between getting up at 7am, facing a long commute and a full day at work, and not getting home until 6 or 7 pm; and going for a gentle browse around the local shops/meeting your mum for coffee or some such.

AIBU to wonder why people don't get this, and speak accusingly of anyone who dares to venture outside their front door when they're out of work on a medical cert?

OP posts:
RandomMess · 26/01/2017 13:25

I was once feeling so much better post op I was taken by MIL to do a few hours of Christmas Shopping, they next 2 days I was sofa ridden and exhausted again Blush clearly wasn't as well as I thought!!!

Even when I did go back to work there were a fair few days when I had to abandon meetings as I'd gone very pale and just didn't feel well.

eitak22 · 26/01/2017 13:25

As someone who is signed off sick with anxiety - going out has and continues to be part of my recovery. My CBT is in the town centre, i still need to eat and survive without having a panic attack and to do that i need to be exposed to it. My boss has activiely encouraged me to be out and about but i have worried so much about people being judgemental.

If i was signed off for anything other than mental health/broken bone i would only go out for drs/prescription pick up as otherwise i would work from home or be too ill to lift my head from my pillow.

eitak22 · 26/01/2017 13:27

Sorry posted too soon. But i imagine that is because i would be worried people would judge theres a huge difference in working a 10 hour shift and popping out for a coffee.

CorporalNobbyNobbs · 26/01/2017 13:27

I once got into trouble at school because I was off sick but a teacher had seen me walking to the doctor (which was across the road from the school). We didn't have a car and the doctor didn't do house calls - how else was I supposed to get seen??!

DJBaggySmalls · 26/01/2017 13:29

YANBU. How are single people supposed to get food or meds?

CorporalNobbyNobbs · 26/01/2017 13:29

eitak I was signed off work before for two weeks for stress/anxiety (started antidepressants and the doc wanted to give them a chance to start working and allow me to deal with side effects without stress of work).

I went and met a friend from work for lunch one day (cos I wanted to talk about it) and stood brazenly outside the building to wait for her. My boss knew why I was off, fuck anyone else's opinion!

dollydaydream114 · 26/01/2017 13:30

then at the very least he should not be paid at all! I have always received full pay when I was off sick, there is no way my employers would have been happy to pay for me to go on an holiday abroad. It's ridiculous.

You can handle the travel, but you can't handle your job?

mambono5 - regarding the person who went on holiday while signed off sick, did you not see that they were signed off with a mental health condition? Of course someone might find it easier to handle 'the travel' involved in taking a flight somewhere and getting some fresh air, sun and a change of scene than to handle eight hours of stress and pressure at work. Going on holiday requires no more effort than packing a suitcase and doesn't need any mental energy, and is beneficial to mental health in situations where work would simply drain a patient's reserves. Do you honestly not see that someone might be capable of sitting outside every day reading a book, but not remotely capable of, for example, running a busy department, overseeing a huge project, teaching a class of teenagers or doing 12-hour shifts in a factory?!

I went to therapy once a week when I was ill with a mental health condition and was told that I should definitely take the full day off each time because I wouldn't be in a fit mental state to work, and that if I could I should go and do something relaxing, distracting and non-taxing after my appointment. (I usually went to a bird reserve and spent the afternoon watching wildlife while intermittently in tears, but sometimes I just went to café with a magazine and a couple of times I went to museums; sometimes I just stayed at home and did a jigsaw puzzle) There is no way I could have gone to work and attended confrontational meetings or focused on my job, which requires both creative energy and a lot of concentration. I just couldn't have done it.

My employer fully understood this and allowed me to take those days as sick leave.

Original poster
user1485342611 · 26/01/2017 13:33

Going to work can be stressful, going for a coffee or a browse around the shops is relaxing. So if you're at the 'don't need to be in bed anymore, but still need to relax' stage, going out can be good for you. The only harm you might encounter is some sad, bitter colleague pointing a finger and going 'ooh, ooh, Miss, look, look, she should be at home. Do something.'.

Some people really need to get an interest or hobby. It might take their minds off work and things that are none of their business.

OP posts:
mambono5 · 26/01/2017 13:35

Thankfully I work in an industry which is very heavily bonus-related. To earn the biggest part of your income, you have to be present and do some actual work. It is so much fairer. It doesn't stop colleagues having to pick up the pieces when someone doesn't bother turning up, but people who believe it's fine to go for a coffee, go on holiday don't last very long.

You can usually tell who has very occasionally been very unwell, and had to time time off for a valid reason, and who is just being lazy and full of excuses.

For those who think I am harsh, it's not really true. We have kept people on pretty much full pay + bonus when they were off for months because of a child with very serious health issue for example. It's not a legal requirement, but it's the right thing to do when the business can afford it. It doesn't mean we have to accept someone who is well enough for the pub, but not the office. We are not a charity.

livefornaps · 26/01/2017 13:35

Plus if there is no one to pick up the slack at home, what the hell else are you meant to do if you've run out of drugs/food? Starve? Even if someone is having lunch in a cafe while ill - maybe that's a lot easier than facing shopping and cooking and washing up (and takes less time). Perhaps they were straight back into bed the minute they got back in the door. When you live alone and you're I'll it is sooooooo shire when there's no one to help. So what if you spend an hour letting someone else cook for you?! People need to mind their own business. When we turn against each other like this, that's when all our rights will be taken away as we've been too busy nosing at what's going on next door instead of what is actually GOING ON.

mambono5 · 26/01/2017 13:37

dollydaydream114

If someone cannot handle his job, he should quit. I am much happier and completely stress free on holiday! Of course most of us would rather lay on a beach than putting up with the latest train strikes and hours of commuting nightmare before we even put a foot in the office. Why should employers pay for someone who doesn't want to do the job?

randomsabreuse · 26/01/2017 13:38

My DH was off work for 9 months for cancer treatment. When he was up to it throughout the period we went hillwalking and to non-busy places. He wasn't allowed back until 6 weeks post treatment on a phased return - we had a week's holiday in that period too, met up with friends and family as we could. He also did some postgrad study in his time off to stop from getting too bored! His job is physically demanding and can be dangerous so he wasn't allowed back even if he felt up to it.

Being "off sick" can be so many things. One day virus - yes stay at home, something longer lasting you may well nned to build up your activities until you are fit for work!

Original poster
user1485342611 · 26/01/2017 13:40

Can't you see the grey areas though Mambo? There's degrees of illness and different types of illness. Staying indoors and not doing anything relaxing or fun isn't necessary at all stages of, of for all, illnesses.

You do seem to lack a bit of insight and imagination.

OP posts:
LilacSpatula · 26/01/2017 13:42

Of course it depends what you're off with.

Sadly, the best piece of career advice I've been given is that perception is reality. If you're seen out and perceived to be well it will come back on you, just as if you're on Facebook every time the CEO walks past your desk they'll think your lazy. It's not true but it is perception and it's very hard to change someone's opinion of you once they've formed it. For this reason I'm always careful about how I'm perceived.

HappyFlappy · 26/01/2017 13:42

Of course you can go out!

What if you need milk/cat food etc? What if you are in the house all day and it is making you depressed? What if it is depression that you are ill with, and you need to get out and about to lift your mood? Your life doesn't end because you are to unwell to work.

Unless you are incapacitated or contagious you can continue to do "living" things. Your work colleague is an idiot.

mambono5 · 26/01/2017 13:45

You do seem to lack a bit of insight and imagination

compared to the amount of feeble excuses for not turning up for work I have heard so far, very possibly Grin .The things people come up with are hilarious. It's just a shame so many know what to tell a doctor to ensure they are sign off without a genuine reason. It's harder to get rid of people when they are on sick leave and some know that.

StealthPolarBear · 26/01/2017 13:47

I think it depends on the sickness. The odd day for a horrible cold or d&v yes you stay in. Anything longer or more complex then it is more complicated and getting out can be either helpful or necessary.

hollinhurst84 · 26/01/2017 13:48

mambo - if I lose my voice then i would have to go off sick, but I'm perfectly able to walk about etc

ALittleMop · 26/01/2017 13:53

It depends
What you do for a living
What sort of ill you are
If you've been off with "flu" for a 3 days with a cold and go out shopping = not on, really.
If you've had an operation and are off for 6 weeks to recuperate = totally fine

corythatwas · 26/01/2017 13:54

mambono5 Thu 26-Jan-17 13:37:53
dollydaydream114

"If someone cannot handle his job, he should quit."

And who should support the people who are not allowed to gradually up their activity levels when recovering from cancer treatment, TB or a bad bout of pneumonia? Is that the taxpayers' job?

Original poster
user1485342611 · 26/01/2017 13:54

But Mambo just because you know a few people who abuse sick leave, it doesn't mean that anyone who stays out sick for longer than the bare minimum time that they're physically unable to crawl out of bed, is swinging the lead.
My doctor recommends that you take a bit of rest and recovery time after a bad infection. Otherwise you're more likely to pick up any other bugs going around and be off sick for even longer.
Overly rigid sick leave policies can do more harm than good to a workplace in the long run.

OP posts:
weebarra · 26/01/2017 13:56

Incidentally, Mambo, I am currently in remission and applied for and got a promotion when on sick leave.

corythatwas · 26/01/2017 13:56

Plenty of doctors will no doubt be happy to confirm that after many operations you need to start moving about in order to recover. But plenty of jobs will not be able to allow you back because you are not safe to perform the tasks.

So what would you choose, mambo: to stay in bed and risk not recovering or quit your job and go on jobseekers?

FineAsWeAre · 26/01/2017 14:04

It's nobody else's business unless you're the boss and an employee is blatantly skiving. I was off sick for 3 months with a bad back, I work in a nursery so it was pretty much impossible for me to do my job safely. I had to keep moving though so regularly went for a wander round the shops or to the gym for a swim or yoga class. I even went on holiday!

Rockluvvindad · 26/01/2017 14:11

As a people manager, I would go so far as to say that I even send my staff home when they struggle in sniffing and sneezing. Why the hell would I want them germing up the rest of the team so that I lose more people off sick, just because they feel the need to be a martyr.

I'm also very fortunate in that my company do try to support flexible working, and with the role my team do it is perfectly feasible for someone who is not well enough to face commuting into London and sitting in the office to work at home for the day. It actually reduces sickness levels when people have that choice.

RLD.