To think that just because you're off work sick doesn't mean you cannot leave the house

[user1485342611]

Someone has just been complaining that they spotted a colleague who is off work sick for the week out and about in their local shopping centre. Apparently if they're well enough to do that, they're well enough to be in work.

One of the reasons a doctor will certify you off work for a week is to give you time to rest and take it easy as you recover from an illness. That doesn't mean you can't leave the house. There's a big difference between getting up at 7am, facing a long commute and a full day at work, and not getting home until 6 or 7 pm; and going for a gentle browse around the local shops/meeting your mum for coffee or some such.

AIBU to wonder why people don't get this, and speak accusingly of anyone who dares to venture outside their front door when they're out of work on a medical cert?

In fairness, I think the consensus if that your job has a physical element, you may be well enough for coffee but not work. Mine doesn't, like many I work in an office & move paper, so if I could go out for coffee I could certainly go into work for a few hours at least. Unless I was infectious in which case I would work from home. If I was well enough to go out for coffee I would not dream of calling sick for my office based job.

I absolutely agree with you. I had four months off last year - I was having 5 migraine a week and the doctor signed me off while we investigated. In the end I was diagnosed with chronic migraines and given a boat load of medicine and now I only get two a month. Anyway long story short I had to really take hold of the good days - so I was definitely seen at a shopping centre. Getting out of the house when you are ill is almost essential.

OK - you have been off 4 days with a chest infection/flu illness, so quite physically ill and unwell. You are now running low on food and also, while starting to recover, are going stir crazy from no fresh air in days. You go to the local supermarket to get food, and also to get a sandwich and coffee made by someone else to save on effort and also to give you a breather after the effort of driving there before doing the shopping and going home. But you are not allowed to have the sandwich and coffee while out, you must instead buy the bread, fillings, milk etc and go home to make it yourself. After which point, in either case, you are likely to collapse back onto the sofa/bed after wearing yourself out doing that shopping run.

Or you have been signed off (even in an office job) with a broken ankle. GP may allow you back in 2/3 weeks once it stabilizes and starts to heal, but you have steps to manage and a commute on public transport so GP says stay out 4 weeks. Does that mean that you shouldn't be going out for a coffee locally while you are off, and are resting lots but even less likely than the 1st example to need copious amounts of sleep (certainly once the initial shock has worn off and pain subsided and healing has started)?

I have an office based job. A pretty stressful one. Long days, commute by train, I organize pretty much all of our home life and managing DD. There are occasions where I have been off, actually sick, but feel guilty about staying off longer than the absolute minimum - but then go back in and need a further period of time off as I am not yet recovered. Yes there are some people who take the micky on sick leave. But there are many many people who don't, have a sensible attitude towards it (only taking it when needed, trying to head off illnesses at the first sight of them, building up their reserves when possible to cope with bugs etc). And yet need some time off - which may involve further recuperation before returning to work.

Last autumn, I was signed off work for a week, I went out on day 5 to get groceries and had to turn around and come home again as I was so weak. Yet I had managed to have a coffee the previous morning after dropping DD to school (because a long slow coffee and breakfast out meant I could fall into bed when I got home and sleep for most of the day having had food and liquids).

Going out for coffee doesn't always mean meeting 4 girlfriends and having a wonderful gossipy catchup for a couple of hours - it may mean having someone else make you a meal that you can sit and eat before going back home to continue recovering. How the HELL is that a bad thing and how is it saying that you are well enough to go to work? I can have a coffee with my mind in a whirl, completely unfit for actually working but looking reasonably normal apart from being extra bundled-up and flushed. My normal pace is 90 miles an hour - but those kinds of coffees tend to be at 10 miles an hour - and my boss is far happier to see me take the extra day or 2 to actually recover and be productive once I DO return, than to come in once I feel vaguely human and get almost no real work out of me for another week or more.

Oh yes, coming back to work too soon can be distinctly counterproductive!
I used to work in a hospital lab - one winter, we were 1/3 of staff down for nearly 3 months because people would catch the circulating cold/virus, be off for the worst couple of days, come in still streaming/sneezing/coughin etc., pass it on to at least 2 other people who would then do exactly the same thing - and then the virus would be passed back to the eventually-recovered ones and the whole sorry cycle would start again! It was RIDICULOUS. If only the first couple of folk hit had stayed off until they WEREN'T spluttering virus-laden drops all over everyone/everywhere else, then it wouldn't have got to that stage.

Didn't happen again - it served as a salutary warning and the following year, people were told to piss off back home again if they came in looking like death warmed up!

See, Biddy, whenever I have been ill and struggled to take the children to school the very last thing I'd feel like doing is prolonging the torture and going and sitting in a coffee shop for ages. when I have dragged myself to schoo the last thing I am bothered about is the quality of my coffee and I generally wouldn't feel like much breakfast at all if I felt like that, and a comfy sofa would appeal much more. A reasonable quality instant is all I'd want and a quick piece of toast.

I can't get my head round the fact that if someone really feels bad enough to go back to bed for the day that they could face a long coffee and a breakfast in a crowded noisy cafe.

But then you didn't specify what your illness was. I am talking about normal viruses, bad colds and flu etc. In those circumstances by the time I have an appetite for decent coffee and a paid for breakfast then I am no longer at the stage of needing to be in bed at all.

I hate the wannabe sickie police who often pop up at workplaces, gossiping morons. Last place I worked, there were a couple who used to gripe if they saw the person off sick was posting stuff on Facebook, because if you're well enough to use a smartphone bundled up on the sofa you must be well enough to drag yourself round the shop pulling pallets around and lifting heavy boxes.

What are you meant to do if you're by yourself and run out of toiletries/medicine/food, just go without until you're well?

You might not need to be in bead curly. But that doesn't necessarily mean you're ready to undertake an early rise, commute, full day at work and commute home.

And as for the poster who implied that working in an office means you're just moving paper around... So obviously no thought, analysis, decision making, clear communication skills etc are required if you just work in an office? You can turn up in any old state and do a good job?

identity I would take the extra week off and use it to keep building up your stamina slowly but only as long as that doesn't set you back again.

I had 3 months off work following major surgery. I went back as soon as my GP would give me a fit to work certificate for a phased return. Looking back, I should have stayed off for another 2-4 weeks at least as I really struggled with the driving and even getting though a short day was hard to start with.

I certainly didn't stay in for 3 months. The first 4 weeks I was mostly housebound but after that I had to do the school run, food shopping etc, all of which needed a lot of sitting down to recover afterwards. But it all helped slowly build me back up which staying in all the time wouldn't have done.

I've also got a stinking cold at the mo. I have taken 1 day off sick this week because I was really unwell and not up to driving. I didn't leave the house. I went back to work the next day because I knew I could physically cope with what I needed to do, but it was hard going and I'm lucky to have a very flexible job.

It wasn't aimed at you. It was aimed at a poster who specifically said that she worked in an office so 'just moving paper around'.

I was pointing out that just because a job doesn't involve strenuous physical activity doesn't mean that it's not demanding and difficult to do if you're not in good health.

My old supervisor saw a colleague do this, and tried to get her dismissed. It then came out that the colleague had been diagnosed with Leukemia and so was signed off for that - her boss knew about it but had gone on maternity without informing anyone. Resulted in the dismissal of the supervisor and the boss who was on maternity, and the colleague got nearly 1m in compensation

Curly I was talking about our local coffee shop which is big, warm, comfortable, has decent coffee and is not too busy after the school run (it gets much busier mid morning but there are only a handful in around 9am). And also generally something that I wouldn't do on day 1/2 of being off, but by day 3/4/5 I may want some human interaction, still feel pretty rubbish but the maybe 10 minutes or maybe half an hour of quietly eating something tasty that I haven't had to make and won't have to wash up, are sometimes worth the effort of getting there. And then going home, refilling the hot water bottle and curling up for a few more hours - because actually having eaten solid proper food is also important to recovery and hunger won't then wake me up after an hour or 2, I will actually get another good long sleep.

I know, it sounds counterintuitive, but it can help me on long-ish absences (especially if DH is away on business, which is not infrequent and that I have had to cope alone as a result). I am unlucky enough to have asthma and be prone to chest infections which can turn nasty, so I have had the opportunity to test this theory on quite a few occasions (and my GP has often offered me notes to take more time off but been refused - it is when I am seriously floored that I take off what I need to - I've been in when my lung function is lower than that of an 80 year old woman and the Doc has wondered how I even got there, and I told her I'd been swimming the day before and worked all morning but felt a bit rubbish and thought I needed an antibiotic - that day admittedly, I did take the note but she did have to talk me into it).

And I agree with others who say that an office-based job is NOT just pushing paper around - mine is far from that and has been since I joined my current organization, previously it was precisely paper-pushing but I have never had an easy role like that in this organization (and I am here 18 years).

Right, Biddy, I don't want to sound picky but I know it does! But I'm just interested in how others feel when they're ill, I know we're all different.

You mention that you like to have something to eat so that your sleep isn't disturbed from being hungry. But I just don't get that some would feel so hungry when they're ill that it would be enough to wake them up from a sleep. Do some people really have an appetite when they're not well? With a virus or chest infection I mean?

I'm just curious as I never have felt properly hungry after an illness until the point where I've been back in work a day or two. I will eat when I'm not particularly hungry at those times because it stays down and I know it will help me to recover my strength but food usually doesn't appeal to me at all and I certainly would not feel hungry as such.

Just wondering if some people stay off work until they have their usual appetite back - maybe I've been going back a day too soon all these years!

I think on Biddys day 3/4/5 I would be back at work- in fact I know it. If I am well enough to fancy something to eat in a coffee shop I am well enough to go to work.

The only time I have judged is when a colleague was off for months with a major back injury which apparently meant she was bedridden and then posted pics on Facebook of her having a hang gliding lesson. Seriously.

We had someone signed off sick, she went on holiday, posting pictures on Facebook of cocktails and white sand. I know she probably needed the break, and I know she's perfectly entitled to spend her sick days however she feels, but when you're picking up the slack, teaching their lessons sorting out their tutor group it does grate a little.