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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that just because you're off work sick doesn't mean you cannot leave the house

243 replies

user1485342611 · 26/01/2017 11:00

Someone has just been complaining that they spotted a colleague who is off work sick for the week out and about in their local shopping centre. Apparently if they're well enough to do that, they're well enough to be in work.

One of the reasons a doctor will certify you off work for a week is to give you time to rest and take it easy as you recover from an illness. That doesn't mean you can't leave the house. There's a big difference between getting up at 7am, facing a long commute and a full day at work, and not getting home until 6 or 7 pm; and going for a gentle browse around the local shops/meeting your mum for coffee or some such.

AIBU to wonder why people don't get this, and speak accusingly of anyone who dares to venture outside their front door when they're out of work on a medical cert?

OP posts:

SparkleShinyGlitter · 26/01/2017 11:44

It completely depends on why your ill & what your doing

With mental illness I think getting out is good the last thing you need is to be locked in your house.

Broken bones/ recovery after an operation, why wouldn't you go out if you felt like it

Bad back and lifting huge heavy boxes in a van, I'd wonder how ill you was

Flu/chest infection etc and clothes shopping, eating cake in coffee shop I'd wonder why you was still off.

I also think it depends on what staff member it is, I have staff in my team that so much as sneeze and they want to go home for sickness then you get others that you trust because they don't call in sick unless actually sick

SeymourButtz · 26/01/2017 11:45

Agree with PP, it very much depends on why the person is off sick.
When stbxh and I split, my GP advised that I had a couple of weeks off work to process the emotional impact and help settle the children. She didn't think it advisable to be in work in my capacity as a HCP responsible for making decisions in an acute/emergency medical setting when I was clearly struggling to hold it all together. She did say something I'll never forget though.
"Seymour you have a broken heart, not a broken leg, staying inside and resting will not fix this, you need to get out and see the right people who will help you fix it, your friends and family".

MrsDustyBusty · 26/01/2017 11:52

I was off once with conjunctivitis. I was very infectious so I couldn't be in work (I did have a doctors note and frankly, wasnt wanted in work when they knew what I had!) but I was grand for going around.

Olympiathequeen · 26/01/2017 11:53

DH has had this awful cold that's going round and a chest infection too. He did do the school run because I was ill too. He's ok most of the time but it's a big difference from going in and doing a 10 hour day.

I didn't think it was wise of him though to show a picture of the brownie and coffee he'd treated himself to.

MrsRhettButler · 26/01/2017 11:53

I'm off work today with a very heavy cold and ache all over.
The car wouldn't start this morning so I had to take dd2 to breakfast club on my bike.
If anyone saw me they would obviously think I was faking it when actually I had no other option.
I've only just warmed up btw
We never know what's going on in people's lives and I don't understand why anyone even cares.

MargaretCavendish · 26/01/2017 11:54

I bet the people sharing public space with you and the things you touched also would have rather you weren't there if they'd known!

kaitlinktm · 26/01/2017 11:55

If you are off with a physical illness, and you live alone, you might have to go out for pharmacy stuff and essential food items (you could order on line but might have to wait for a delivery slot); or to go to the GP etc. If you are socialising or browsing the shops - then no.

MH problems are different.

JingleBallRock · 26/01/2017 11:56

I did complain massively and threatened the woman, through HR, with me going to the police. My boss was great and supported me all the way.

Said woman now keeps her distance from me.

Original poster

user1485342611 · 26/01/2017 11:56

I don't agree that someone with a flu or chest infection should prompt questions about why they are still off if they're seen out having coffee or browsing around a shop. if they're coming towards the end of their illness they are probably physically well enough to go out for a couple of hours, but not well enough for commuting and a full day at work.

I think it's unfair to imply that someone should go straight from the 'can barely get off the couch' to 'well enough for a ten hour day, including commute' stage. There's an in between time where you can undertake gentle activities and be out and about for a couple of hours during the day.

OP posts:

MrsDustyBusty · 26/01/2017 11:57

I bet the people sharing public space with you and the things you touched also would have rather you weren't there if they'd known!

I didn't say I went anywhere, it was hideous and I didn't wish to be seen. But there was no medical reason why I couldn't go anywhere - I felt fine, my mobility wasn't affected in any way, but that didn't mean that work was the right place for me just because I could get around as well as usual.

madcatwoman61 · 26/01/2017 12:01

I was signed off for 3 months after a hysterectomy (heavy physical job) - going for walks outside, of increasing lengths was part of the recovery. I hope no one expected me to stay inside for 3 months!! If you are off sick, it is because you are not fit to do your job for whatever reason, not necessarily that you can't walk to the corner shop. I hope some of you judgemental people are never ill

SquedgieBeckenheim · 26/01/2017 12:01

I nearly got a caution at work for this once. I'd been off sick the day before, then went out shopping the next day. The day I was shopping was my day off, if I hadn't been off I'd have been back at work.
Someone at work saw me out and reported it to our manager who then hauled me in to her office to give me a lecture and a warning for skiving. Except I wasn't skiving...

weebarra · 26/01/2017 12:07

I was off work for 6 months having treatment for breast cancer - double mastectomy, chemo, radiotherapy. Most of the time I felt well enough to do shopping and the school run. I even went on holiday to Mallorca. I still don't think I could have been at work though.

SapphireStrange · 26/01/2017 12:09

YANBU and I hate that attitude.

Obviously though there would be specific cases in which I'd think someone was taking the piss –if they claimed to be so ill they were bedridden and then were seen out raving it up or whatever.

But generally, no, one does not have to stay indoors just to 'show' that one is ill 'enough' not to be at work.

lalalalyra · 26/01/2017 12:10

The only time I've ever been judgemental about a colleague was when I bumped into one in River Island buying a party frock when she'd phoned in sick because her back was gone and she couldn't get out of bed. Her back had a habit of going at month end when things were manic and it got to the point no-one was allowed holidays over month end because the bosses pretty much knew we were going to be one person down already.

Here you have to go into the shopping centre to get a pharmacy so most people who are off sick and visit the doctor end up in the shopping centre if you have a prescription.

Chinnygirl · 26/01/2017 12:11

I work for a company docter and I can tell you that enough times you do not know what your colleague is sick with. The flu or stress could mean anything from a miscarriage to having been raped by five men and mentally very unstable because of that. Both are actual reasons that happened while they told their colleagues something else.

Please don't judge on what you are being told.

whoisit1 · 26/01/2017 12:14

I agree op, we have someone like this in our office, i feel like telling her to mind her own business

TreacleTreacleLittleStar · 26/01/2017 12:20

I got in trouble once the day AFTER being off sick. That day was a Rota'd day off. I was ill the previous day with the last remains of a bug but was ok on my day off. I got in BIG trouble when I was spotted shopping!!!!

I was livid!!! It was my rota'd day off!!!

dollydaydream114 · 26/01/2017 12:21

As others have said, each situation is different. I have definitely known a couple of colleagues who were seen (or tagged on Facebook by their unwitting friends) while off sick, out and about doing stuff they couldn't possibly have done if they'd actually had the illness they claimed they had.

Equally though, I've known a colleague who was snitched on by someone because she was off long-term with a severe back condition and came to have a coffee with us, her work friends, one lunch time. She was visibly struggling and in pain and had to get a taxi there and back, and spent the rest of the day lying flat in bed. She'd barely seen a soul for three months except for a physio once a fortnight, was getting no fresh air at all, and was getting seriously depressed, and she really needed to force herself to do something even though she was in pain. Our boss thought it was a great idea for us to see her as it would be good for her to keep in touch with us for when she eventually was able to return - yet a colleague for another department reported it to HR.

Toddlerteaplease · 26/01/2017 12:22

I've just had 3 days of hospital treatment and am off until a a week on Monday. Currently sitting in cafe nero. I don't feel ill but need to take it easy. I need to be on deaths door to stay indoors all day.

SideOfFoot · 26/01/2017 12:24

I think if you are recovering from an operation or heart attack or cancer or similar then being out and about is fine. However, if someone is ill, sick, cold etc then I would not expect to see them in the shopping centre if they weren't well enough for work. I think other workers will always think this, why is she well enough to shop but not well enough for work.

Original poster

user1485342611 · 26/01/2017 12:27

I really can't get over stories of people rushing off to HR to complain about colleagues, who don't even report to them, of supposedly not being ill enough to stay off work.

What sad, bitter lives some people lead.

OP posts:

Original poster

user1485342611 · 26/01/2017 12:28

But we've explained, SideOfFoot. Just because you're capable of spending a a half hour walking around the shops, or an hour having lunch with your mum, doesn't mean you're necessarily capable of undertaking a long commute and eight hours working.

OP posts:

whomovedmychocolate · 26/01/2017 12:32

If you've had D&V and you have ventured forth to get supplies and someone judges you for that, you are morally entitled to crap on their car. Esp if it's within three days of the outbreak when you are still contagious.

Also, people have to leave the house to go to the doctors, often they prescribe meds you have to go to Boots to pick up - which is in the shopping centre. There is a vast difference between nipping in to get milk and pick up antibiotics, and going to IKEA or being spotted with six hours worth of shopping bags.

There's a health and safety implication for returning to the workplace when you may either be contagious or not safe to work for fear of fainting etc.

MyVisionsComeFromSoup · 26/01/2017 12:32

I've been ill for over a year, i'm not officially off work, but am very very part time. On my list of "things to do" from the consultant is "walk outside, look at trees in the distance" and "walk on sand". So I go for walks, despite not being able to manage a full day in the office, sadly haven't managed to convince DH we need a beach holiday for a week every month .

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