To think that just because you're off work sick doesn't mean you cannot leave the house

[user1485342611]

Someone has just been complaining that they spotted a colleague who is off work sick for the week out and about in their local shopping centre. Apparently if they're well enough to do that, they're well enough to be in work.

One of the reasons a doctor will certify you off work for a week is to give you time to rest and take it easy as you recover from an illness. That doesn't mean you can't leave the house. There's a big difference between getting up at 7am, facing a long commute and a full day at work, and not getting home until 6 or 7 pm; and going for a gentle browse around the local shops/meeting your mum for coffee or some such.

AIBU to wonder why people don't get this, and speak accusingly of anyone who dares to venture outside their front door when they're out of work on a medical cert?

I got married while signed off work with morning sickness. (Quick town hall job, no family or friends present). This raised a few eyebrows at work. They didn't see me vomiting into my sick bag as I signed the paperwork!

Other than your line manager and HR no other busybody needs to know what you're off with.

There is a vast difference between a gentle walk to get things moving again or nipping to the shops so you can eat that evening versus getting up at 6am to do a 1 1/2 commute and 13 hours out of the house using your brain!

I had a lot of staff complain to me about one of my staff off sick (with depression but this was none of their business) as they found out he was going abroad on holiday. Spoke to HR and occupational health to be sure I was being reasonable and fending them off, and they were happy about it, and felt it would do him some good. Colleagues are often bitter, and too interested in their fellow staff without having the full picture. (I was happy, but also needed to be sure from a Managers point of view, as we had little (no) training and were expected to know everything, as well as our day to day jobs.

If you are well enough to take some fresh air or wander down the shops, you are taking a massive piss and you are well enough to work! Maybe not if you are a surgeon or an air pilot, but in most cases you can.

Fair enough you go to the doctor and chemist, at a push you do a food shop, anything else is unacceptable. Take an unpaid day off if you are feeling like taking it easy. Of course colleagues should report to the boss, why should they be given your workload when you are off without taken proper annual leave?

I'm off/staged return to work at the moment, I feel it's ok to go out and do day to day type things, e.g. Whizz around Waitrose after a hospital appointment to get food, or be in the village for something in the cafe after a GP appointment, but I wouldn't do 'fun' type non essential shopping. So there are things I want from ikea, but am saving that for when I am better. I would expect the same of my colleagues unless there was a specific reason that they were off that meant that could do everything else normally except work.

My work are happy to have me back part time on limited duties at the moment until my situation changes, so whilst I'm not well enough for 12 hour days and being around the kids, I can go in and do 4 hours of desk work. I'm at home today waiting for the district nurse, so I have alternated between working remotely and sitting on the sofa. I'm surprised more people don't have the option of returning part time if that is what they need. I organise cover and I'd rather have someone say, look, I can manage to come in late and teach lessons up to lunch, but I can't do a whole day, than someone off the entire day.

And sometimes, even if you DO have pneumonia and asthma flaring up, you still need to have milk in the fridge for some tea for yourself, and easy meals for the DC coming home from school - so actually have to go to the shops while feeling at death's door. (Real situation in my case, more than once). And with a DH away travelling on another continent for work - it kinda implies you just have to get on with it and look after it all yourself (family are 250 miles away).

That said, by the end of a week off (standard term given by my GP - and she always wants me to take more as I am usually so deeply ill before I go to her to get signed off), I am usually feeling still quite fragile and in no way up to going back to work all day - but absolutely needing to get out of the house and avoid going stir crazy, so will go to the coffee shop in the near village to read the paper and have a coffee there, before coming home to fall in a heap on the couch under my blanket and turn on another episode of "The West Wing" (and wake up again in 2.5 hours to change the DVD to the next 3 episodes!).

they found out he was going abroad on holiday

seriously? then at the very least he should not be paid at all! I have always received full pay when I was off sick, there is no way my employers would have been happy to pay for me to go on an holiday abroad. It's ridiculous.

You can handle the travel, but you can't handle your job? Give your notice then, take a sabbatical. Why should your boss pay for your leisure?

My husband was off with work related stress for a few months before eventually taking redundancy.

We married (huge un mumsnet approved do) and went on honeymoon during that time. All colleagues in his department came to our evening do. Not a dicky bird was said.

So mambono - would you have complained about me going on holiday after my cancer treatment finished but before I went back to work? Not being goady, just asking.

Mambono5 sometimes you may be recovering and need some fresh air - and appear to be out enjoying yourself - but you are only actually functioning BECAUSE it is for a short period. Not actually physically capable of commuting, working a full day and commuting again, facing into making dinner/homework/bedtime etc.

I have genuinely been in that situation - where I go out to drop DD to school, have a coffee, and literally fall back in a heap until the end of the day when I have to collect DD as I normally would from afterschool club. Note - end of the workday after 6pm - NOT the end of the schoolday and DD coming home early! It is part of recovering not taking the piss.

I have many times worked through illness, but there are times when you actually do need time off to recover, and recover fully. Part of the reason why GPs keep you off the week is so that, when you go back, you are actually well again and can cope with the rigours of the working day. And work would prefer us to take an extra day but come back ready to tackle the backlog with vigor, rather than coming back a day early and just about managing to get through the following week as we still struggle to shift the illness and recover our normal levels of strength and energy.

Ah yes I've been in this boat. I was off with mental health issues and i had people reporting that they had seen me in town or walking my dog whilst I was off sick and upon my return to work I was hauled over the coals by the ward sister and told that i had been "seen out" to "pull myself together and get over it as I had nothing to be depressed about"
I started misreporting what I was off sick with as I was sick of the whole ward knowing why I was off as the ward sister would regularly announce in handover "needles is off,yet again, with 'mental' issues"

So glad I'm out of that place now.

Or, as Weebarra suggested, the need to take a holiday as part of the physical and mental recovery after dealing with an illness or traumatic event.

Mambo as others have pointed out there's a difference between a short walk and a 12 hour shift. I'm an auxiliary nurse - I wouldn't want a nurse looking after me who's on heavy doses of opiates and having a nap after lunch. It wouldn't be safe for me to make decisions , or lift people etc. However, it doesn't prevent me from walking slowly around the shops after a hospital appointment or sitting drinking a cup of tea. There's a world of difference between the two. I did meet a colleague in Boots one day, she asked how I was and I said I was buying toiletries (and sanitary pads!) for going into hospital - perfectly true and a valid reason to be out, no one else was going to buy them!

I think is perfectly reasonable. If I saw them bungee jumping, nightclubbing or rock climbing or auditioning for X-Factor I might be a bit less sympathetic.

My GP is in Boots in the city centre. When I was working one of my colleagues caught me in there and told me with a smirk face that she'd have to report me. Until I pointed the large sign overhead directing people to the GP.

People should mind their own.

Dp was sent home today sick and my first thought was that he should go to bed, despite me just having made the sodding thing
He said he would prefer the sofa and take it easy there instead.
Many people assume bed is best ( myself too today ) but it completely depends on the Illness.
Stress/depression for example- fresh air can do the world of good and sitting staring at 4 walls day in day out is unlikely to have the same effect plus people handle sickness differently, what works for one person may not work for another.
I feel worse sometimes if I go to bed

Have also worked through illness - I walked into work in severe pain, got three minutes into handover and came round with my ward sister holding my head and an obs monitor attached to me, before I promptly spewed everywhere and had to be helped into the staffroom by 2 of my managers. I really, really don't fancy that again so in future if I feel unwell like that I'm not going near my work! Not worth it, was horrendously embarrassing and distressed a couple of patients as well seemingly.

Totally agree

For a start you may have been told that they're off with 'Flu etc when actually they're not happy for the reason that they're off to be shared with all and sundry.

I know when colleague had a miscarriage we were told 'Flu at first, till she felt ready to deal with it.

When I was off long term with a back injury (initially sustained when I was a HCP, though this event was after I had left the NHS) our Occ Health Nurse would phone me once a week to see how I was and she would set me 'goals' if pain was under control to go for coffee etc all to prevent depression.

Apparently someone did comment to her and he was politily & professionally told to fuck off.

Even with internet shopping etc people still need to go out. For me because of issues associated with my back I had to see my GP weekly, I would dose myself up and get a cab there and back, on a good day I'd stop and have tea & cake, after collecting meds etc.

This usually meant at least 2 days recovering, I would have looked fine but at the time I was on MST 60 twice a day, valium, Gabapentin, NSAIDS and I would have had a dose of Oramorph in my bag just in case.

What job would you have been happy with me doing while on these drugs Mambo?

It also depends very much on where you work- where I am, you have to be more or less bed-ridden to be off, so being out and about with sick bug, cold etc would not be ok.
Longer term stuff, I think it's inevitable that people will be out- who would wish being house-bound on someone on long-term sick?

Depends - I only ring in physically sick if I am unable to work - ergo I am too sick to go shopping

But when I have been off with stress for 2/4 weeks I would go out - just to leave the house

But it's not really anyone's business but your boss

WOQ MAMBO I'm glad I don't work with you. You sound deeply inflexible and black and white.

I know this feeling. I was signed off once for severe stress and depression mostly caused by an event that had happened. I was seen out one night in a pub kind of place. I wasn't drinking I went because my boyfriend at the time asked me too as he thought it would be good for me. I saw a work colleague there who acted normal saying was nice to see me etc. Then went back to work and bitched about me. What she didn't see that night was me trying to control my anxiety because of all the people around, me feeling sick at being out of my comfort zone and me asking to leave quite soon after seeing her as it was too much to cope with at the time.
People only see what's right in front of them but especially with mental illnesses you will never get better if you hide away.

I think it's wrong to be out and about if you're off sick. Partic if only for a couple of days
I had a friend who took sickies all the time and went out for lunch/shopped/cinema etc. It used to piss me off loads
I may be over sensitive about this as I'm one of these people who has been off sick for 3 days in 20 years doing the workload of all those "off sick" all the time

Plenty of illnesses where the doctor will specifically tell you to increase activity levels gradually, starting with a short walk outside the home and then a slightly longer walk with maybe a stop somewhere, then half days, then whole days.

Happened to me when I was off with a longterm viral illness and again when I'd had pneumonia, has happened to colleagues after cancer treatment, to FIL after TB, to young people I know after glandular fever. Nothing odd about it at all, except possibly to Mambono, who does not appear to have much imagination.

Have also known cases where a trip to a warmer climate has been recommended by doctor, particularly in cases of joint illness.

It strikes me that some of these colleagues who are busy driving past people's house and peering through their windows could spend their time in a more productive way by offering to do their shopping and support them in other ways.