AIBU - Being TOLD what the family summer holiday is by DH??

[Fubbs]

On Tuesday evening, DH informed me that he was taking our two boys to his parents' holiday house and that I could go or not, up to me.

(Bit of background, we were there two years ago and I didn't enjoy it. Way to hot (35+) so I had to stay indoors with the air conditioning; vegetarian food doesn't exist there so I gave up going out to eat as I was sitting watching them tuck into food; couldn't sleep well with the heat and noise at night; nothing to do or see so I got through seven books; I tried to fly back early but the flights were too expensive. I have NEVER been more bored in my life. DH is well aware of all of this.)

I feel like he's decided where the holiday is going to be and I'm just been told about the plan without being asked about it at all. He's discussed holidays with his parents at the weekend as he told me they'll pay the kids' flights so the holidays were decided between them then and I'm the last to know. He has dismissed my suggestions of alternative destinations completely and he seems to feel that if he says no, that's that. He said that as I have a choice whether to go or not, I'm the one being unreasonable but that we can go for a couple of days somewhere I want to go at another time.

Then he's surprised that a night of passion isn't on the cards for him after he's pissed me off and he told me that I'm controlling him as I've a choice about going to the holiday home or not but he has no other choice.

I haven't slept well the last couple of nights so am wondering if IABU?? Where do we go from here?? And what do I say to his parents when they ask if I'm looking forward to the holiday? I don't want to be rude to them but don't want them to think that I'm okay with the situation I find myself in.

Help!!

He might not struggle - true. Then it could come as a welcome 2 yearly break for the OP, where he takes the kids away and she gets to relax and not have to look after anyone but herself.

I'd say that's a winning situation, potentially.

youthecat I agree, I'm not sure why she is complaining, two weeks of total silence and another shorter break with them all. I might suggest it to my partner lol

I wonder if dh's parents will decide to go too, when they here you're not going? I don't mean in an unfriendly way, just "to help".

The last big decision we had was new windows - I talked about it with DH, we agreed it needed to be done, I did the research, discussed it with him and then we went ahead.

Based on what you've posted about the way he's acting about the holiday, the windows thing sounds more like "he thought the house needed new windows, and made her feel like it was a joint decision by getting her to do all the legwork as long as she consulted him before making any final decision on her own". Sort of the way you'd delegate a not-very-interesting task to a colleague a level or two below you.

YY