To think she is my real niece?

[Mrsemcgregor]

My dsil (DH sister) is currently in labour with her first dc, a little girl!

I was telling my MIL that I was so excited to meet my new little niece and she scoffed and said "she's not your real niece, your not a blood relation".

I am as excited about this baby as I was my db's children and feel like I am getting a "real" niece. Now I feel hurt and like I am not a "real" part of the family

AIBU to think she is my niece and treat her as I do all my other nieces? (I have no nephews!)

My great niece became my great niece when my OH's blood nephew met a girl that already had a daughter from a previous relationship.

All my cousins on my dads side (and there is a lot of them) still refer to my mum as their Auntie and she has been divorced from my dad for nearly 15 years.

YANBU.

I dont consider my dhs, brothers children to be my niece and nephew. It never occured to me I would even be their Aunt.
Funny enough he disagreed with me until I asked if he thought of my sisters ds as his nephew and he immediately said no.

However I would never have commented how your mil did. Thats just plain rude.

andrew contractions are 8 mins apart and she is still at home. I am hoping so much for an easy delivery for my dsil. I can't wait!

I used to babysit BIL's children when they were small. I haven't been married to their uncle for the best part of a decade, but they still think of me as Auntie Annie and seem (against all reason!) to remember me quite fondly. I referred to them as my ex-niece and nephews to a colleague once who told me off severely. She said if they were once your niece and nephews they don't stop just because your marriage does. Probably fair enough.

They drove me potty when they were all romping together instead of going to sleep, but then so did my own DC, and they all seem to have grown up to be pretty decent human beings so I wouldn't want to disown them. I certainly wouldn't tell them I wasn't their relative so cut it out with the Auntie stuff - that would be dreadfully hurtful.

You could make a point of calling her 'My niece - ooops sorry, my niece-in-law' when your MIL is around. That should make her look stupid.

DH's siblings' children are my nieces and nephews. They call me Aunty Shockers makes me feel ancient even though they're all grown up now!

Congratulations AuntieMrsmcgregor !!

Thank you!!

I'm unlikely to be an aunt by blood as my sister isn't interested in having children, so I like to consider DH's millions of nephews and nieces as my nephews and nieces too. Even the ones that are older than me call me Auntie (mainly because it is quite amusing).

ps Should any of my DNs (ex-DNs?) happen to be on MN and recognise me, I luffs you really.

She is your niece ignore your mil she's being stupid

What a mean and unnecessary thing to say.
She is your niece and she should be so pleased you are excited for your sil.
Weird.

You will always be their aunt Annie.

I am an Auntie to my dh''s siblings children, and I love them to bits. My brother became a father for the first time 2 years ago (and the grand age of 50!) and my niece is my pride and joy, but get this, my brother and I were adopted as very young babies. We are from different parents and are no more related than I am to any of you lot! Never the less I adore my little niece, being related by blood has nothing to do with loving a family member

Of course she's your 'real niece' your mil sounds awful and ignorant of family relations! (Marrying your dh makes his siblings children your nieces and nephews - surely everyone knows that)?

My aunties were always were my aunties even though they weren't blood relatives.

My niece calls DP "uncle" even though we are not married.

I think YANBU and I can see why you feel hurt!

I have a closer bond to my niece from my SIL then I do with my blood related niece. Even if me and my husband get a divorce she is still my kids cousins and I will love her all the same and my SIL even said that I will always be Aunty Amy. My uncle's wife is my aunt, and no matter what she will always be my aunt. Your MIL is being a twat.

I only have blood uncles, so the non-blood aunts were very much my family. They are also the mothers of my blood cousins.

I have just worked out that they are both onlies, so no blood nieces

I know someone who divorced her husband, but kept his Aunt . She stays for Christmas every year.

My DH nephews are my 'real' Nephews, and she is your real Niece.

What a cow! Is it her first grandchild?

FWIW my husbands best friend is a woman and she is Aunty as well and she loves our kids just as much as I love my niece and my SIL loves my kids.

She is your niece. When exh and I split his DS stopped all contact between me and her dds, having reached adulthood the eldest has sought me out, she is still my niece in my eyes and apparently also in hers.

I'm a little bit torn on this. On the one hand I think family is as much about how you feel as being related by blood. Otoh my sister recenctly split up with her dp. My dd had loved her dp and viewed her as an auntie, having known her since she was a baby. But now the relationship with my sister is over, we don't see the exdp. We miss her - I had totally embraced her as another sister, but blood is thicker than water for us.
So yes, I kind of see that the baby feels like your neice but it is a relationship that hinges on your own continuing marriage (probably), whereas your blood nephews have a relationship with you that is independent of all other associations.

Your mil was clumsy and tactless to say it, but I don't think dhe is actually wrong. I have lost 2 sil, due to break ups and they no longer see my dc, despite being there through their childhoods.

If I'm honest, I never really viewed my dh's relatives as my family and I think lots of people feel that way about their ILs.

When I was around MIL I think I might refer to myself as Aunt-in-law and the new baby as niece-in-law just to highlight how daft MIL is being. Of course you are the Aunt.