re child giving up seat to an elderly person on the bus

[user1485342611]

My friend is furious because her 12 year old daughter was asked by an adult to give up her seat on the bus for an elderly man.

Apparently the bus was full, my friend and her daughter were sitting separately and an elderly man with a walking stick got on. No one stood up so a woman who was standing near the door asked friend's dd if she would give the man her seat, which dd did. My friend is going on about the 'cheek' of 'some stranger' telling her daughter what to do and why didn't she ask another adult etc etc

AIBU to think she's being ridiculous, and her daughter should have stood up without prompting?

I'd be bloody embarrassed if a child of mine had to be asked th I'd expect them to offer.

Tired. From what, toiling down the mines 12 hours/day?

If you can work a 12 hour shift in a labouring job without being tired, you are to be congratulated on your boundless energy .

I should add that the 30 year olds who DS offers his seat to very often laugh and say "I'm fine thanks". Anyone over 18 seems ancient to him and therefore in need of a seat more.

It's vanishingly rare that my 11 year old is so exhausted that he needs to sit down on a bus/train for 20 mins. Who knows with a 30 year old?

The fact that he offers makes him feel good and it cheers people up whom he offers (whether they accept or not) - win win

'Did it ever occur to the posters suggesting that the adults don't give up their seats before the children, are behaving in such a way because THEY were taught that they were just as entit to the seats when THEY were young. 😒'

Well, they are, excepting priority seats at the front. Don't see how that's expecting the world to bend to their wants.

your "friend" is a fucking twat! honestly. humanity

A 12 year old without additional needs can more safely stand on a bus than an elderly person with a walking stick.

I don't subscribe to the view that children should always give up seats to adults. I think that's quite ridiculous.

Although, why didn't the woman ask any of the other adults to give up their seat? Could she not have asked, generally, whether anyone would please give up their seat for this man? Why ask the 12 year old girl in particular?

Presumably this would be at the front of the bus and in the priority area for wheelchairs, in which case you should move, most definitely.

Was a typo (head is somewhere else). Meant walking-stick which I did correct myself.

nothing pisses me more on a crowded tube (after my 12 hour mining shift) to see fucking TODDLERS sat on seat. put the little fuckers on your lap . ugh

Oops *that the adults THAT don't give up their seats. 😳

I do think children should be taught to offer seats to older adults. We are growing a generation who think the world revolves around them. Children and younger adults shouldn't need telling but sometimes do.

Oh, FFS, there are some very special snowflakes on here. Tired. From what, toiling down the mines 12 hours/day? Jesus wept

Some people on the bus will have just done a 12 hour day on a ward. They'll be bloody knackered. And they're not the very special snowflakes here. That's the children who are being taught to stay seated.

nothing pisses me more on a crowded tube (after my 12 hour mining shift) to see fucking TODDLERS sat on seat. put the little fuckers on your lap

Bad day Stop? 😆

I'm with Mrsjayy (not literally). I think in this situation a 12 year old should be treated no differently to any other adult and have the same expectations of them - so I would expect them to give up their seat for an old/pg/disabled/toddler person but not any adult, and I don't think they should be expected to more than any other adult.
The half fares thing is a bit of a red herring unless we're going to tell unemployed people to stand at all times

Not sure that I agree adults in the past were more tolerant of children.

But I stand by my point that a child is no less entitled to sit down on a bus than an able bodied adult.

My children would move for an elderly or disabled person because I've taught them to and they have empathy and good manners. However, I've also taught them that another person isn't more worthy of respect and consideration than them just because they happen to be older.

We are growing a generation who think the world revolves around them.

It's funny I see this idea bandied about an awful lot. Often framed as if it's the children/young person's fault... Well we're the ones raising them. I wonder why we (collectively as a society) are raising our children like that when we were raised differently.

I can tell you when working with kids as a fit adult, I was tired out more at the end of the day then they were. Kids do not have the responsibilities of adults. We should not pretend there though that they should have the same rights.

The lady should have asked generally if anyone would give up a seat and not pick a specific person. You don't know if someone has a hidden disability. On buses my 7 year old who has ASD sits on my lap as he can get really distressed in a crowded bus. He looks completely 'normal' but without a seat would find it very hard to cope. My child needs a seat more than a healthy adult does.

The other thing about children and lack of respect is I notice adults are very rarely respectful to children e.g. Not saying thank you if they hold back going through a door

Of course it is not the kids fault. It is some adults fault that some kids think the world revolves around them. It is an impact of neo liberalism where the focus is on the individual and nuclear families, rather than communities.

I really don't get all the indignation about children being asked instead of adults. It doesn't re-inforce some kind of message that they're 'inferior', it just trains their young unformed minds to be aware of others and to try and be kind and considerate when they can be.

No wonder there's so many rude, unaware people going around in a bubble nowadays. Some parents seem to be more exercised about their child's 'rights' and 'entitlements', than about bringing them up to be decent human beings

I was always taught that children should offer a seat to adults, able bodied to disabled, young to elderly and anyone to a heavily pregnant woman or someone holding a baby or small child. Even now, in my 70s, I would offer a seat to someone who seemed to need it more than me. If I had a grandchild with me I would take that child onto my lap (yes even at 10+) in order to let someone elderly etc sit down.
It teaches courtesy, consideration and common humanity. If a youngster will sit while an old man staggers on his stick then they might well walk past someone fallen over in the street etc.

I don't understand why the 12 year old didn't offer instead of having to be asked. Badly brought up, I suppose.

To the parents that say their children are just as entitled to the seat, what would you do if a 'fit looking' adult asked them to get up? Would you say "no", ask them "why" or if they're disabled? Can you imagine what it like for someone with a 'hidden' disability to have to explain themselves in front of people on a busy bus because your little snowflake is just as 'entitled' to the seat as them, as far as you can 'see'? If they don't want to explain their disability to a stranger, and why the fuck should they, you've probably made them feel so shit they would be nervous about asking anyone else.

I don't understand why the 12 year old didn't offer instead of having to be asked. Badly brought up, I suppose.

Must be why all the other adults on the bus didn't offer too then.

When I get on a bus during the day, the older people all sit towards the back, unless they have real trouble walking. That is because they know the seats at the front are for those who really need them.