To wonder why some people are in denial about their weight?

[penciltop]

Not criticising anyone here but just wondering.

I had a morbidly obese friend who says she is that size because she is muscular and has 'big bones'. I don't comment but she clearly has a lot of fat on her body and she does overeat.

I have come across other people too who say people are healthier these days so are going to be bigger. People say it is because of genetics. Everyone is overweight in their family and that is the reason they are.

I know weight loss isn't easy - trying to lose weight myself! - but surely pretending it is because of reasons outside of your control isn't going to help. People keep telling me I am fine and I don't need to lose weight. Err yes I do according to BMI. I am in the overweight category

Not denying the reasons for people who have real medical reasons such as disabilities or because of medication

Fakenam Okay; You lie flat arms by your sides. ( I do this in bed 3 times in the night and 3 times in the morning)

1. Lift your upper body slowly up to approx. 5cm. hold for 5 seconds then lie down SLOWLY . Take care to keep your head in line with your spine , don't let it fall or poke it forward.

That's it ! You can put your arms above your head if you want to for more difficulty. I do it with my legs raised straight against the wall sometimes.

But if you're binge eating at least your hunger is satisfied occasionally, I eat my dinner and still feel hungry. One thing I've noticed over the years is that hunger seems to come and go in waves through the day and is rarely satisfied by food, well, unless I eat a huge amount. Not having a go, I know it's hard for all of us, I just take issue with the assumption that it's easy for me because I'm not overweight. Maybe it's harder for my because I leave with long term hunger that's almost never satisfied.

On the friends saying "oh, you don't need to lose weight" it's not just overweight friends wanting to feel better about themselves. I'm definitely the fat one in my group, and have lost three stone over the last year or so. I'd ideally like to lose another 1 ½ stone. Most of my friends are really encouraging, but one is massively not, and it's because she liked having someone to make her slimness more obvious.

Sorry typos, stupid predictive text.

I think most people are not in denial but I do know one person who is. She doesn't think she is overweight at all. That is literally the only person I have known in denial about this though, and I have no idea of the reason for it.

Just being in the overweight category of bmi does not mean you will be healthier if you lose weight. It might mean that, and it depends how overweight you are, but recent research indicates that bmi is not an ideal measure of health and some studies show that those who are slightly (not very) overweight tend to have better medical outcomes that any other weight category including so called ideal bmi.

I am not dismissing the health complications of excess weight which are legion, just saying it is not always as simple, especially at the less extreme end, as a recommended bmi being healthier.

ppeatfruit

Flat on your back or front?
Lifting up shoulders and head as well?
Do arms stay flat on the bed?

Diets don't work - that's not me being smug or dismissive. I struggled with my weight for years. Once I stopped dieting, just got my portion size right, worked out PROPERLY (you can push your body so much more than you think) it fell into place.

Velvetspoon I don't mean to be unkind, but can't you see you are doing the denial thing? Yes BMI isn't the be all and end all, but your husband is roughly six stone overweight and you dismiss it and say he swims and doesn't look that overweight so it's all nonsense.

As someone else said upthread we have totally lost sight of what is overweight and what is not.

I watched a documentary where a woman said she genuinely thought she was a healthy/normal weight as everyone in her community were the same size. She later realised obesity was normalised in her area and she was dangerously large (she then set up a fitness club in her area, was all v inspiring!).

Fake Did you read my post about Paul Mackenna? You HAVE to eat till you're full, and boy does it work !! (i'm not on commission btw!!!!) He also addresses the emotional side of our cravings etc. I'm not sure why everyone doesn't give it a go !

I have always eaten healthily but only lost weight successfully with him (I Can Make You Thin) I hate that title I just wanted to be slim and I am .

It's pretty obvious why people are in denial, it's because they're scared. I'm a 12-14 so still overseas, but I have been an 18. I have a massive tendency to use food as a crutch when I'm upset and as an anxious individual I get upset quite often. The only big weight losses I've had (crashing from 18 to a 16, then to 12-14) is when I've been so stressed I went from binging all the time to binging and starving. I don't have a healthy relationship with food, most of my family doesn't, my mum is big and has knee problems.

Overseas=over weight lol.

I would think if they are blaming it on something else e.g. big bones then it means there's nothing they can do about it and it's not their fault. Whereas if it is due to overeating then it is their problem. Possibly.My mum is like this and it's so frustrating as it is leading to health issues.

Snap, do you know many people who are fit enough to swim that much, obese or not? (he swims 5 miles a session). He is very muscular. Yes he is overweight. I've not denied that. But he does not appear morbidly obese. He's a 48inch chest/ 36 waist. He could lose some weight, but given his general build and muscle mass, I can't see how he could possibly lose 6 stone. Like I said when we met he was a stone or so lighter (but also less muscular) and the only difference was he was a size smaller in trousers.

I'm not denying he is overweight, and could lose some weight. But for someone of his build BMI is unhelpful.

I don't think it's healthy to obsess about BMI. Waist size and standing in front of a mirror naked are the best way to check! BMI is a guide . IMO many people have lost sight of what a slim and normal naked body should look like and refer to people who are normal weight as being 'skinny'.

My mum is exactly like this, she blames her weight on all kinds of things in fact the only thing she doesn't blame is how much she eats.

Velvet Is there any reason to compare fitness (ie lung function / capacity) and being healthy long term? People who are overweight can often perform in physical activity (especially in the water which doesn't put strain on joints) but that doesn't mean in the long term they won't suffer from diabetes or cancer, both of which are linked to weight. Your DH should have a caliper assessment/ fat scales assessment to see what his muscle mass is in proportion to his fat .

Fakename - I never said it was easy for you. I'm talking specifically about people who don't see that struggle, which doesn't seem to include you, does it?

Please don't try to put a positive slant on binge eating. It's not healthy and is the cause of me retaining a frankly huge amount of excess weight. Trying to spin it as a positive smacks of you convincing yourself that you struggle with your weight more than anyone with large amounts to lose, because at least if they're fat they're obviously not hungry

When I gained 5 stone 5 years ago I was in denial for quite some time.

I even blamed my tight knickers on the tumble shrinking them

I struggle with my perception of my weight even now. I am always told I'm tiny and slim but I sometimes feel really fat. I know I'm not really fat, I'm a size 10 so not fat but I do find it hard to be objective about my weight on both ends of the scale. I don't weigh myself because that didn't go too well when I started to do that.

I get the denial. Weight gain is so slow at times it just creeps up on you, often until you have that moment where you can't deny it.. a photo, not being able to fit into any clothes etc. My moment of realising that I was actually really fat was when I couldn't get a size 14 top off me in the changing rooms. My clothes were all quite stretchy and due to the fact that I get bloated all the time due to IBS I put a lot of it down to that. I knew I had gained weight, but I would never have guessed I was 13 stone. I would have guessed 10.

So I'm sure many people have issues like I do.

Some people probably make excuses for their weight to others because society makes them feel like it's a moral failing to be overweight and that overweight people are all greedy and lazy.

fake You lie on you back, sorry. Just the amount of your upper body that you can lift easily ( to 5cm height, i bring up my shoulders ,not high) then hold for just 5 secs. I did say to include your arms by holding them straight above your head ,or flat behind you, if you want to. You shouldn't start by including your arms if you're unfit.

People are in denial about all sorts of things TBH

Very true Cagliostro

T'internet is a great help if you want to lose weight though. Maybe a double edged sword.

Velvet It's great that he's fit and I'm sure he is a well built bloke. But being seriously overweight is bad for your body whether you are fit or not. The extra strain on your heart for one thing.

And actually I've known blokes who have lost 5 or 6 stone and you don't know where it came from or was. They were big, but not 5/6 stone big, but yes it came off. Something to do with it being round the middle? I don't know.

I am so sick of this. Seriously OP - why do you care so much? Have a shred of empathy and nod sagely whilst changing the topic.
Just imagine for a moment what it feels like to be wrong at every single moment of the day and night. For every single second of your life to be completely dominated by people judging you, not being able to do things that thin people can do, always being acutely aware at any given moment that someone will make a joke at your expense. That your physical presence is undesirable, unwanted, free for others to remark upon and try to control. Every single day. That every single day you should eat enough food to survive but not too much ever. And how impossible that can feel. That putting anything in your mouth in front of anybody else is an invitation for them to remark and believe that they're only doing it out of love/concern etc. As vices go being overweight is probably one of the least damaging in society and the most understandable and yet fat people are forced to wear their problem every single day never able to hide it but always struggling to look a bit more invisible. Take your concern and direct it towards the scurge of drugs/crime/abuse/whatever which are real problems that are much easier to hide than being fat ever will be. And maybe consider developing your terribly patronising empathy into something a bit more genuine. HTH.

I put on 3 stones in my 20's. I used to be very slim and could eat whatever I wanted. However, 10 years doing a desk job and I didn't really notice the weight creep on!

3 stones = 42 lbs. 42lb / 10 years = 4.2lb a year I put on average. Now it takes eating an extra 3,500 calories to put on 1lb of fat. (4.2 x 3,500) = 14,700 extra calories per year / 52 week in a year = I was over eating by just over 282 calories per week. There's about 260 calories (I think in a mars bar) . So I was over eating by just over one mars bar per week. It's easy for weight to creep on without realising it.

FWIW - I now do lots of exercise. Lost 2 stone and am way fitter than I was younger and I probably have way more muscle so don't care about the 'extra' stone I didn't lose.

"It's also true that some people will get fat on the same type of food that others won't. (That must be true or we would all be skinny or all obese would n't we?)."

No. Think about that for a moment.