To wonder why some people are in denial about their weight?

[penciltop]

Not criticising anyone here but just wondering.

I had a morbidly obese friend who says she is that size because she is muscular and has 'big bones'. I don't comment but she clearly has a lot of fat on her body and she does overeat.

I have come across other people too who say people are healthier these days so are going to be bigger. People say it is because of genetics. Everyone is overweight in their family and that is the reason they are.

I know weight loss isn't easy - trying to lose weight myself! - but surely pretending it is because of reasons outside of your control isn't going to help. People keep telling me I am fine and I don't need to lose weight. Err yes I do according to BMI. I am in the overweight category

Not denying the reasons for people who have real medical reasons such as disabilities or because of medication

And smoothies don't have to be expensive either -49p for a litre box at home bargains at the moment.

I knew I'd read that list somewhere else Helena !

In my village which has no lighting we take torches when we go out btw!

Do you mean the exercise I talked about near the beginning of this thread Wally?

Ref. smoothies; I make my own and include roughage because after coring, washing and removing any brown bits I use the whole fruit (not kiwis though!) , the goodness lies next to the skin.

I put linseeds and ground almonds in it too that makes it more nutritious and creamy (and filling of course ) without any dairy or banana (bananas give me reflux). I make enough for 2 days.

I don't have time for breakfast at home and have also been doing 16:8 fasting 2/3 times a week so I've started having porridge some evenings for dinner with frozen berries, linseed/flax, chia and almond butter. It's a game changer for me. Lots of healthy stuff and fats in there but is just under 400 calories. I try and have my main meal for lunch at work on days it's possible with lots of veggies.

By wanting to buy ready made things you are already making things more expensive than they need to be though gwen

Nobody forces you to buy ready made things, healthy or not, that is your choice. That said I can go into subway and buy a salad for less than a sandwich would cost so if you want it is possible.

But as an adult the only person who can take responsibility for what you eat is you.

Yes very true Sirzy DH is very OW and he knows exactly HOW to lose weight , I have been sitting in front of him eating differently for many years. I don't eat with him in the evening because I eat much earlier than him and don't have wine all the time.

He is one of the deniers though, he tries sometimes but soon gives up using excuses like he's soo hungry he eats loads of crap before his meal (which he buys, ) not me. I do try to keep my mouth shut. It's not easy though .

"They are readily available in most shops if you don't want to make your own."

I meant a freshly-made one.

"By wanting to buy ready made things you are already making things more expensive than they need to be though gwen"

It depends. Some things are cheaper shop bought. The thing is that there's no point preaching at people to always cook from scratch as it's just not going to happen for a portion of the population, which is why I think more things like stir fry packs are needed. Quick, but also healthy.

Trying to figure out the logic of wanting fresh food but not wanting to prepare anything oneself

I hate cooking Six.

This thread is making me think a bit more about my issues, so thank you.

I never denied being obese. I've been thin at 55 kg and fat at 98kg.

I'm currently 70kg and have lost the weight by doing a VLCD. You see when I was so fat the thought of not eating all the things I love for years to get back to a healthy weight was just so unmotivating. The VLCD has been easy, I enjoy most of the packets and seem to be healthy.

I ran a food company and really know my nutrition. I've lived and worked with a series of chefs. I suffer from IBS (which is utterly shit - literally). Doing a VLCD is pretty much against everything I believe in, but my IBS disappears on it.

When I came off for 3 weeks (wedding, xmas, NY) my IBS came back with a vengeance.

Here is what I've learnt:

Cooking from scratch doesn't stop you getting fat. Portion sizes are the issue. And I am greedy.

I know I stress eat on top of 4 meals a day.
I can also happily drink a bottle of wine a day.

I know I was in denial about the long term consequences. Had all the tests nothing wrong with heart etc. But there would have been long term consequences.

I know that my legs and knees hurt because of the extra weight I carried. I never denied this.

You can have great physical endurance whether you are fat or thin. Thin doesn't mean fit.

I've learnt that less calories mean better sleep. Life changing.

Working from home makes it much harder.

5:2 made me cold but kept me illness free.
I loose most weight during my period. (Best bit)

I also know I will probably have to be on some variation of a VLCD forever. Even it's just 2 out of 4 meals a day. I must never let it get out of control again.

Weighing myself often is something I have to do.

BMI is basically a crock of shit. I'm a size 12 with muscles (not huge ones) but I ride, swim kms and walk every day. If I was at the bottom end of a healthy BMI I'd by bed ridden.

My daughter is 12 and is the same height as me, but we are not the same build. She has a BMI of 19 and is a size 6/8 mine is 27 for a size 12.

I plan to try to loose another 7kg over the next 8 weeks, but more than that I suspect would be an error.

Wally You sound the type of person who would like the Paul Mackenna way of eating.

He says that if we are OW and unhealthy it's just due to some unhelpful habits; they began and they can be changed. The eating slowly and mindfully is great (you can 'forget' it and start the next day or week Or after Xmas) It still works . So I know I can do it (and I will do it ) for life.

I totally agree with you about BMI !

Sorry to burst a few bubbles. But obesity should not be normality. Smokers contribute 12 billion in taxes. And this money does not go to the NHS. The cost to the NHS is estimated to be between 2 and 6 billion. The cost of obesity is 6 to 12 billion. Yet its socaly except able. Food production. Is responsible for deforestation and massive water consumption. So you can gorge yourselves . The fashion industry is incredibly polluting has a massive carbon footprint. The fatter you get the more clothes you buy. You all have children. And you want a world for them to grow up in. We are all responsible for our own greed it permeates society at every level. Less is more. The sugar tax should be used to subsidise healthy food . Yes I am a skinny bitch. But I was not allways this way I lost 4 stone it was hard its not true that its impossible to keep it off yes its hard. Not impossible dich the car walk more get a dog . I had to give up smoking after 32 years with no smoking patches. The hard way cold turkey. Truth hurts deal with it. Stop making excuses peoples unwillingness to change is killing the planet wake up and stop sleepwalking. Your kids want a future there is no excuse for greed. If you love your children like you claim. Then fight for their future and take responsibility for your actions.

Give up sugar in your tea or coffee. Give up alcohol dump cake crisps chocolate. Walk 10,000 steps a day and watch the wait fall off that's what I did. And I am a size 8. And 10 years down the line I still am. Its just takes self control.

You needed to dredge up a 2-year-old thread at 4am to lecture people about their weight?

I wish I could get thinner. I walk 12,000 steps a day. Do extra exercise three times a week. Have a smoothie for breakfast, a healthy lunch and no dinner. And my weight is stuck at 12 stone, size 14. Just can not get any lighter / thinner. I know I am fit and healthy but I am still not in the correct BMI. My boobs are big which doesn’t help. Just don’t know what more I can do!

I always find these threads really depressing.

Why do people feel the need to put others down in order to feel good about themselves?

I feel sorry for your friend that her 'friend' is judging her over a sensitive issue and making smug posts about her online.

What is it you actually want from overweight people? For them to break down in tears and beg forgiveness from society for their terrible sin of being overweight? How is that going to benefit anyone??

Don't all the outright nasty and mean comments on this thread give you a clue as to why people may not want to talk openly about their deepest feelings about their weight

Is anyone else wondering what led Skinnybitch to resurrect a 2+ yr old thread and launch into a fat shaming rant?
And boast about how much self control she has.
At 4am FGS

@BeerandBiscuits I just realised!! Very weird indeed!

Beer Something tells me her rumbling tum was keeping her awake!

Sorry I haven't read the whole thread (672 replies!!)
Nothing upsets people more than the word FAT it seems.
I'm no slim jim, probably 2 stone max over weight.
But I accept it and cycle every day to work, eat nothing but salad and fruit whilst there, but when I get home...Geez!! I'm like pac-man munching everything in sight.

But, having turned 50 and seen the horrific consequences of some one I know who is obese, had to have hip transplant, the other will be done next year (only 50) mouth full of missing or rotten teeth from years of eating crap. It seems madness that we actually bring this misery onto ourselves...and for what?? for the brief few seconds as we gorge on crap! and that's it. there are absolutely no other benefits for being fat other than the brief sensation as we scoff it! Yet the price we pay is huge, low confidence, unsightly bulges, dreadful bowel movements, shit skin, not to mention the internal organs struggling every minute of every day to move a skeleton encased in thick layers of fat! Fat people desperately try to cover themselves by wearing oversize clothes, insisting on wearing coats in hot weather, wearing T shirts when either in the pool or sea.. etc etc WHY?? Everyone knows you are FAT, all you do is attract even more attention to yourselves.
Food won't disappear if you decide not to eat it - it will still be there next week, next month, next year...so why do we all gorge ourselves??

I think the very first step is to admit you are FAT, accept the fact because make no mistake everybody else already KNOWS you are FAT.
So either embrace it, stuff yourselves senseless but expect to live out you middle age in pain and embarrassment
OR
Stop kidding yourselves and stop eating shit.

I have an endocrine disease- the tablets I take impact heavily on my metabolism. I have put on over 3 stones in the past 6 months because of this and it is unbelievably upsetting. I am not in denial but don't like to talk about it because the hospital have been crystal clear with me that there is no other safe option. I don't need people calling me out - I need support and the odd hug. You need to walk in people's shoes to understand the full picture.

I was fat as a teenager and early 20s then I started to exercise 2 hours a day every day. I was living at home but cut out the weekly takeaway, gave up cake, chocolate, crisps and stuck to one portion of dinner. My mum would offer extras and always has, she would get offended when I refused but I stuck to my guns. I dropped from a size 16 to size 8 in two years. I managed to stay a size 8 till I had my ds where I have ended up at a size 14. I ate anything I wanted whilst pregnant and didn't do enough exercise (many excuses, tired all the time, anaemic, low vit D). I have now retailed my diet again and am exercising for 30-40 minutes a day, the weight is coming off but slowly. I feel better for it.

For me rather than genetics I think it is changing eating habits that is the issue. As a child my mum used to focus on us finishing our plates and would be offered seconds so nothing was put in the bin , big focus on being 'good' for doing so and not wasting hard earned food. I want to demonstrate healthier eating habits to my young kids so am trying to get my act together.

A lot of people are in denial about their weight but it is a sensitive issue. Some people definitely are big boned, my sil is very broad and cannot fit into outfits I can however she looks slimmer than me ie. no rolls of fat.

We see ourselves everyday so it's hard for our brains to compute gradual changes. My weight has fluctuated over the years and I swear I look exactly the same in my mind, it's only clothes not fitting that tells me otherwise.

I have a couple of friends who are both overweight (friend A and friend B) and they both know it and talk about it. The interesting thing is that B, who is quite a bit more overweight than A thinks she and A are the same size, I personally would estimate B to be about two sizes bigger than A. B often asks to borrow A's clothes which A no longer does after B ripped her dress trying to squeeze into it. B still asks and really doesn't seem to realise her true clothes size. Self-perception is powerful!

I have another friend who's about an inch shorter than me, I've known her most of my life and it was only recently when looking at a Facebook photo of us standing next to each other after a 5k race that she realised I was taller than her, she was gobsmacked! She genuinely thought she'd been taller than me this whole time. Nope, I outgrew her by the time we were fifteen but apparently she's always viewed me as shorter! Mind you she is a very dominant personality so I can sort of understand her thinking she's taller than she is, if that makes any sense.