To wonder why some people are in denial about their weight?

[penciltop]

Not criticising anyone here but just wondering.

I had a morbidly obese friend who says she is that size because she is muscular and has 'big bones'. I don't comment but she clearly has a lot of fat on her body and she does overeat.

I have come across other people too who say people are healthier these days so are going to be bigger. People say it is because of genetics. Everyone is overweight in their family and that is the reason they are.

I know weight loss isn't easy - trying to lose weight myself! - but surely pretending it is because of reasons outside of your control isn't going to help. People keep telling me I am fine and I don't need to lose weight. Err yes I do according to BMI. I am in the overweight category

Not denying the reasons for people who have real medical reasons such as disabilities or because of medication

Maybe because weight is a deeply personal issue and layered with many emotions. It may be easier for her to say 'big bones' to the world than bare her soul to everyone who wonders why she's overweight.

Did that not occur to you?

Oh dear a fatty thread

Wow. Aren't you lovely?

If what she says winds you up to the point of posting about it, perhaps stop being friends with her?

In some cases, not all.

well, unless they are taking action, they are !
Or are you saying they are fatalistic, accept they are going to be ill but don't care?

Livia- it wasn't me darling who began the thread. And your post has spectacularly proved my point! Thank you! :) Have a lovely day too!

Navy I think that's the thing, you can see the resultant behavior but can't see their triggers. I used the word 'triggers' in my previous post because when you get beyond just being overweight, their weight can be the result of much more than diet.

Diet can lead to being overweight of course, but it takes a lot to be clinically or morbidly obese and maintain that so you feel like you can't ever be a healthy size and maintain that.

It's about so much more than the food you put into your mouth for many which is why to be happy, they either accept how they are or look into the psychological aspects of why they are how they are.

For me, it's easy to identify what I'm doing to be fat, what nobody can see (and what I couldn't either until I got professional help) was why, and how to challenge that behaviour long term.

Many know how we are supposed to eat so why don't we?

Well your friend is in a tiny minority surely? Most people who are overweight aren't in denial ... they spend their whole lives obsessing over it. Ime.

I know it wasn't - I was picking up on your use of the word 'fatty' separately. Sorry if you are too busy being patronising to see that darling

I am obese thanks to some medication I was on (stopped them now so that I can lose weight). It had a side effect that was "significant weight gain" and I gained about 30% of my original body weight! I feel huge now, I was a normal weight when I started them :( So upsetting. If someone were to doubt that this is the reason, I would be very very upset.

This calorie burning thing is weird, we are ALL burning calories ALL the time (not just when we exercise). I do a simple exercise before going to sleep (in bed) and it burns up calories all night. I don't count calories, I never have, I feel my stomach muscles activate.

I'll tell if anyone's interested.

bibbity Exactly that - they may not want to discuss it but they are fully aware of it!

I keep seeing that size 16 is the average dress size of UK women these days, so people accept it as this is how it should be. No it isn't. Just because it is the average size doesn't make it a healthy size.

For some people it is though. I'm size 16 and my BMI is in the healthy range.

Most people who are overweight aren't in denial ... they spend their whole lives obsessing over it

Exactly! These are the people for whom a diet isn't the answer, diet is at best a temporary measure and not a fix.

What is it about us who knows what's healthy and about measuring for portion control etc that stops us from doing something, that in black and white should be simple? What are our triggers. Why is your attitude towards eating more important than being healthy?

Big bones (AKA a large frame) do exist. Just as a petite frame exists. BUT having a large frame has nothing to do with dress size unless one is very, very slim indeed. I can't diet my broad shoulders into a size 4 whatever my fat percentage 'cause bones is bones.

A large frame skews BMI, yes. It doesn't make one fat though, it's the pies and a persons metabolism that do that.

A small fame skews BMI too mind. Very often it's actually the taller but teeny of frame who say things like "I'm a size 14, I can't be that overweight" when, if fact, they are carrying a lot of weight.

'And your post has spectacularly proved my point!'

Nonsense. You were trying to create a stir by using the phrase 'fatty thread'.

As a society we don't do enough exercise. I don't mean the gym but just everyday natural calorie burning.

I keep telling myself I'm the right weight. I forget to mention that it's the right weight for someone 7ft 6.

The only times when i considerably lost weight were when i was severely depressed and not eating,with some pills that coupled with my lifestyle(working nights) mean I didn't eat at all or very little,and when i was pregnant due to heartburn and throwing up,so even if i did manage to eat,it didn't stay in for long(gained 500g during the whole pregnancy,and i was 15kgs lighter after giving birth).

It's like people who try to give advice about exercise/healthy eating - yes most of us know what we should be eating and doing - we are fat, not thick! For whatever reason we don't do it. But it's not through lack of knowledge!

If what she says winds you up to the point of posting about it, perhaps stop being friends with her?

I didn't say it wound me up. I just wondered

People post all sorts on AIBU so YABU

I think 'heavy bones' just describes the frame.
my sister and I are both the same height. I am blessed with a slender frame (narrow hips and shoulders/ribs) whilst she is wide.

at the same weight (bmi 22) she looks skinny (ribs showing, flat belly) and I don't.

What a nasty thread.

we are fat, not thick! For whatever reason we don't do it. But it's not through lack of knowledge!

Exactly.

There clearly are a proportion of people who maybe don't know what a healthy diet or portion size is and diet clubs are great for educating and providing motivation to make the changes they identify.

Then there's the vast numbers who know but still can't make sustainable long term changes for whatever reason. So whatever is the reason? We aren't all lazy and I'll educated.

I agree op. I think more common though is that people know they are overweight but are in denial about the reason they are overweight. My mum is very obese, she claims she eats almost nothing, just salad with a tiny bit of lean meat. At the same time her fridge is packed with junk food, sweets and ice cream. When we go out to eat she is always the only one to order pudding, well, apart from the children. I don't know if she really believes this or is knowingly lieing about how much she eats. I don't think this denial about how much we eat and the causes of our weight is uncommon. I would bet that if we kept an (accurate) food diary most of us would be shocked by how much we eat. I know I feel shocked at how little food we do actually need and should be eating.

I was thinking a bit about my denial last night, don't get me wrong I know I am overweight and why and will admit to that without excuse, but day to day and getting undressed in front of a full length mirror I think I look alright. Last night I was looking at my naked body thinking it looks quite nice but I am a stone heavier than last year and I looked awful in holiday snaps.

I can only really see it in pictures.