To wonder why some people think girls are more troublesome to bring up than boys?

[FirstOfHerName]

My cousin is pregnant with her second child. Her oldest is a 4yo boy. She's just found out that baby no 2 is a girl and said her DP is disappointed as he was hoping for another boy so he could play football with his sons, and also because girls are more of a hassle to raise. In fact, they're both in agreement on this latter point.

They have every right to have a preference for the sex of their child of course, everyone has, but AIBU to think the whole "girls are more trouble" attitude is stupid and sexist?Kids are kids!

The girls are bitches stereotype is the same as boys just fight it out. If we bring our children up to behave differently then they will.

I think in the case of my cousin and her DP, they are thinking along the lines of what VaginaDentata said, that girls' sexuality needs to be policed and protected.

Certainly when I found out I was pregnant with DS the first thing one friend said to me was "well at least you won't have to worry about him coming home pregnant when he's a teenager". To which I replied that at least if your daughter comes home pregnant then you stand a better chance of having contact with your grandchild than if your son gets someone pregnant!

Ds is definitely twice the work of either dd!

It's mostly personality.

When i go out with DD in the sling and my 2 boys are rampaging around me people come up to me and say 'that's not another boy is it?!' with horrified tones and then when i say no it's a girl they say 'phew, she'll be much easier to handle'. No one has ever said 'oh dear, she'll be hard work compared to your easy boys over there giving a random cardboard box a good shoeing for no reason'.

DD is in the last year at an all girls' school, and there's been very little evidence of 'bitchiness', or other bullying. There seems to be a lot of mutual support. The school isn't into gender stereotype bullcrap, the pupils are individuals who happen to be female.

Anyone would think children were not individual human beings with personalities, but clone-like representatives of their biological sex, or something.

In my experience my DD is a hell of a lot easier than my DS. That's down to personality and not gender though.

I have one of each and from my perspective my dd is much more emotionally complicated than my ds who is very laid back and rolls with the punches. That could be for any number of reasons, but is a common experience among my friendship group so maybe there is something in it.

It's just rubbish stereotyping and the difficult sex differs depending on who is saying it! My brothers gave my parents far more hassle than I did, to the point my dad was a bit disappointed when I said I was having a boy! I put him right quickly that it could go either way, it's all about personality/temperament.

My boy ( youngest) is more laid back than his older sister but I have also spent more time in hospital with him than her. I love them both to pieces and raising them has their own challenges however that is down to their personalities not their gender..,

Can only comment anecdotally, (like nearly everyone else) but I am ever so grateful my second turned out to be of the male persuasion.
Having an awful time of it with the girl since age 12 (four years and counting).

Would cheerfully throw myself under a bus for her - as would her father, but on a day to day basis, dear lord, the strife......

Ds otoh is a breeze.

I'm currently pregnant with DC2 and DH and I were talking hypothetically if we'd find out the sex and he passed a comment about hoping it's a boy as "there's just too many stresses with teenage girls" which I took to mean the thought of them having boyfriends and sex

As has been said, it's an old ingrained view that girls needs to be protected from the world in a way that boys don't.

I have boy/girl twins. We had boys and girl come in to play. The boy was a little more trouble to raise.

My friends who have sons look wistfully at my DD who sits colouring etc while they are charging around her house with a football.

Of course the above sentence could easily read:
My friends who have daughters look wistfully at my DS who sits colouring etc while they are charging around her house with a football.

FFS.

I'd say some kids are more troublesome to bring up than others e.g. my eldest is more sensitive and has more difficulty socially - both are boys - very different from one another.

I work with teenagers and it is all down to the individual's personality and their experiences. Anecdotally I have just worked with a young woman who I knew as a teen and she is delightful now and was a very easy teen for her mum - again it is the individual. I wonder if the challenging issues with girls are more about friendship groups and the struggles that are unique to young female friendship groups - things some boys just wouldn't get involved in.

Just to add another stereotype; girls are closer to their mothers and boys don't see their mums much once they are married. Obviously this isn't true of all boys or girls and is very much down to the individuals involved and their situations.

The school isn't into gender stereotype bullcrap, the pupils are individuals who happen to be female.

Yeah - but they don't just "happen" to be female at all, they are all female because boys are excluded because they are deemed to be bad in this context.

which apparently is not "gender sterotype bullcrap" one is to assume.

Just playing devil's advocate here, trying not to fall into trap of gender stereotyping, but my toddler DS is and has always been incredibly high energy, won't sit still, incredibly boisterous, wilful, hugely frustrated, very loud. At baby/toddler groups the little girls generally (I know you can't fully generalise) appear more chilled/settled. I guess the grass is always greener! Can't answer whether boys get easier as they get older as he's only 20mo but certainly he's been a huge handful, I guess much of that is about his personality/temperament rather than gender x

My friends who have sons look wistfully at my DD who sits colouring etc while they are charging around her house with a football

My DD does sit quietly colouring and my DS does charge round the house with a football. I can easily imagine having two DDS would be a much more peaceful existence!

Well I have 2 girls, DD1 was a dream, and still is for the most part, laid back, easy going, does as she is told etc. DD2 on the other hand is a pain the the arse. Whingey, doesn't listen, climbs everything, defiant and throws whopping tantrums. So she totally dispells this myth!

My dd sat quietly her books, often, back in the day.

My ds sits quietly with his books, often, now.

I'm sure of course that it is down to personality but I for one am glad I'll not have to go through the Teenage Girl thing again.

(And have no doubt whatsoever that the boy will bring different stresses to the table when he gets there!)

In my house my daughter wants bucket loads of interaction, she wants to be in the middle of everything, and will ask endless questions to get my attention. My son can monologue( about Pokémon....) But doesn't crave attention, doesn't need to be in on everything, and is into toys as well as people. With my daughter, interaction is the only thing she is interested In.
Having worked on a primary school I think this is broadly typical.
I know which I find easier.....

Growapear - the girls school was founded after the corresponding boys school (over a century ago), I suppose when someone finally decided that girls were worth educating. Both schools do very well, so there's no boys rights axe to grind here.