To wonder why some people think girls are more troublesome to bring up than boys?

[FirstOfHerName]

My cousin is pregnant with her second child. Her oldest is a 4yo boy. She's just found out that baby no 2 is a girl and said her DP is disappointed as he was hoping for another boy so he could play football with his sons, and also because girls are more of a hassle to raise. In fact, they're both in agreement on this latter point.

They have every right to have a preference for the sex of their child of course, everyone has, but AIBU to think the whole "girls are more trouble" attitude is stupid and sexist?Kids are kids!

I have one of each and they're both as bad as each other

I don't think it's anything to do with their gender - kids are easier at different ages, and boys can be just as bitchy as girls

I have two DD"s and one is FAR harder work than the other. Just as wonderful but more complex.

I have two sons of my own and I'm a childminder and I find girls much busier than boys. They like to be doing things all the time whereas I think most boys are lazier and most I have looked after are content to join in other people's games whereas a lot of the time the girls want to organise everything.

I love them both but know if I have a day with only girls I'll be much busier!

Let's hope the child never finds out that her father was disappointed to be having her, AND voicing that opinion. What a twattish thing to do!

Purely anecdotally, from my family and friends, I would say that more challenging tends to lie with the second/younger child - presumably looking for attention - rather than from the sex.

*behaviour

I'm a massive gender critical feminist but I think it's generally fair to notice differences. Of course girls can play football and boys can be bitchy, but in general those things tend to be gendered.

I have a typical boy, he doesn't want to sit still and draw or do arty things for any length of time, while girls his age will sit happily for ages. The cliche goes that while little boys can be 'harder work' than girls, this changes in teenage years when girls personal lives become very complicated.

Perhaps none of that will apply to my son, and he will be outside the gender box. But generally, he'll probably grow up to be typical.

I say this as a daughter of a radical feminist who actively tried (and failed) to produce kids who defied gender.

These kind if sweeping statements are awful. My side of the family is all girls, aunts, nieces etc. When I was of with my second dc (first bring s girl) my MIL (who only has sons) demanded that I must have a boy this time as girls and women are all complete bitches. Riiiiiight. Not only was she slagging off me and my whole family, but her own granddaughter AND her own entire gender!

I have one of each. My dd is tween. So far she's been very easy. My ds has always been harder. More tantrums as a toddler, more lies, more emotional hang-ups etc. It may change of course.

My dsis has 3 girls (2 grown up now). They've all been great. Middle girl was a bit of a handful but not in the teenage years.

It's all crap. I hate this gender stuff.

I am really surprised by the OP to be honest as you see so many threads and comments about how people commiserate with women expecting boys, and the trend seems to be that every woman will want a girl and will be sad when she doesn't get one, and 2 boys are not a good thing etc etc.

Without over doing the stereotyping, many boys are more physical and lively as kids (but not all) and many girls are more the sit and colour/play types (but not all) So I would say boys are probably more tiring when little.

But to me the biggest difference in my kids has been their personalities, and that is ingrained from day one, and nothing to do with male or female.

For what it is worth ds (14) loves going clothes shopping with me and for dd1 (11) it is her worst nightmare!

I have a typical boy, he doesn't want to sit still and draw or do arty things for any length of time, while girls his age will sit happily for ages.

You see, Morriszap I don't find that 'non-typical'. My ds will sit for hours doing creative stuff. He's much better at amusing himself quietly than my dd ever did.

I find DD harder to parent than DS but that's because she is very like me, and I find it very difficult to let her make all the same mistakes I did, and we both have the same triggers for overreacting so we can make each other angry very easily. I can remember my mum and my sister being the same.

I have a toddler dd and baby ds. Dd was a far easier baby than ds is so far, despite the fact people practically queued up to tell me how difficult girls were.

Dd is 3, so not without her tantrums etc but so are all the other toddler's I know. Some are quiet, some shy, some confident and loud (dd) but it doesn't appear it be anything to do with their sex. I have had the odd comment about her behaviour being like a boys, I just smile and nod whilst rolling my eyes internally

Sorry, the first para of the post was supposed to be in bold!

My (lovely) MiL had 4 boys, and told me she thought boys were easier! Er, how would you know?

My two dds were always pretty easy, even in the teen years. Maybe I was just lucky, but I could never understand why people always seem to expect teen girls to be pretty horrible. Mine certainly weren't.

I have boys and girls, they've all had their moments but wouldn't say gender had anything to do with it tbh it's more down to personality and experience I think. My first child was a nightmare toddler my fifth was an easy toddler they have different personalities of course but obviously I had learned a few things by number five so made far fewer mistakes.

I have 2 boys and a girl and I would say the boys are simpler rather than easier. DD just seems far more complicated than they ever were.

To a certain extent, the boys were exactly like dogs - you fed them (lots and Lots!), let them run around and that was mostly job done. That's just my boys though. It's not possible to generalise.

I think boys are driven to conform to their peer group. So if your son is at a good school in a safe neighbourhood it's easy to raise him well. If not, you're in trouble.
Of course there are exceptions and plenty of loners and outsiders too.
Girls seem to make smaller groups and alliances which is the cause of all the friendship issues but can help them rise above the herd.
I love them both.
Life is challenging for boys and girls.

I've always been told the opposite.

But my DD is harder than my two sons combined. She's wearing. Girls also seem to "require" more stuff than boys too.

I think boys are perceived as easier to raise because they aren't stigmatised for being sexually active at a young age, they won't come home pregnant,, and let's be honest, they are far less likely to be raped.

Yes where does.this come.from? Since having my DS (11 months) the amount of people who have said to me "oh your lucky, boys are so much easier!" Has completely shocked me. I had never heard anyone say it before I had a baby. Babies and babies, each one is completely unique, the sex is irrelevant!

Not having girls, I have on occasion looked on in horror as one of my friends' daughters threw a massive tantrum (tinged with respect) or was very demanding or whining (to name a few 'typical girl' behaviours). There is a tendency to think some behaviour is because they are girls and my DS didn't tend to those. - but has other very annoying traits - but I doubt it really. Isn't it just a question of being able to deal with you are used to and as with any other aspect of parenting, you grow into it? So girl and boy just one part of different.

I think that female friendships can be much more complex than male ones - so maybe that's what he means? I have two DSs and find their friendships very straight-forward, usually quite physical, but we've never had fallings out of the 'You're not my friend any more' variety, or unkind cliques of the type I well remember as a girl growing up.

Having said that, I think boys can be hard work when they're young. My two fight a lot and whine and are far more of a PITA than my four nieces seem to be. Girls seem much more able to play quietly or do an arty activity without hitting each other or feeling the need to engage in something physical every 10 mins in order to let off steam. Boys have more pent-up energy, it strikes me. Of course, this is a massive generalisation and I realise that not all boys/girls are like the ones in my family.

As for the teen years - well I haven't got there yet and I think both genders come with their own set of worries regarding bullying, sexting, relationships, exam worries and general teenage angst.

I've never really heard that sentiment expressed to be fair. What an arse that man sounds! I have three boys and a girl. Eldest boy - quiet, studious and 'easy to parent' second (girl) same as our eldest. Child three and four (both boys). Boisterous, edgy and more time consuming to parent. Nothing to do with what's between their legs. They've all played with prams, dolls, playhouses, footballs, two did ballet, one gymnastics, one football. My husbands a squaddie and therefore people assume he'd have an issue with the boys playing with 'girly' stuff but he doesn't at all. Because he's not stupid!!!

As a small child DD was easier, did didn't run off, she played nicely and neatly, she ate and also slept well whilst my boys were holy terrors. My eldest boy is 14 and very little trouble but my DD OMG the dramas!!!!

In my experience it's true so that's why I think it .

My son exhausts me physically and my daughter exhausts me mentally which I find much harder.
I wouldn't generalise this to other people's children but for me, yes my dd is more difficult.