To wonder why some people think girls are more troublesome to bring up than boys?

[FirstOfHerName]

My cousin is pregnant with her second child. Her oldest is a 4yo boy. She's just found out that baby no 2 is a girl and said her DP is disappointed as he was hoping for another boy so he could play football with his sons, and also because girls are more of a hassle to raise. In fact, they're both in agreement on this latter point.

They have every right to have a preference for the sex of their child of course, everyone has, but AIBU to think the whole "girls are more trouble" attitude is stupid and sexist?Kids are kids!

Same as allthelight - 2 boys and a girl, easiest child is ds1, most difficult child is ds2.......dd has her moments (stroppy, stubborn, slams doors), but is nothing compared to whirlwind ds2.

I don't get these comments at all. I have 3 girls so no boys but each of my girls is completely different I couldn't put them or their behaviour into one homogenous group "girls" what is an atypical girl? I certainly don't know. My eldest is my hardest my middle child my easiest solely down to their personalities this could all flip when they're teens I don't know. So I don't understand how people who may have one of each say girls are harder than boys or vice versa they only have experience of raising one boy and one girl hardly an effective sample size to make that comment.

It's because boys behaviour is excused with the "boys will be boys" attitude

I am delighted to have one of each, I also have a stepdaughter, in my experience girls are much harder work - more drama / higher maintenance. I've noticed the same in girl dogs / boy dogs which is why I have chosen two male dogs. Obviously this is only my experience and could totally be down to personalities / individual experience.

In my own personal experience, having two of each, girls - especially at primary school - seemed to be more prone to cliques and bullying. Don't know why that is but it did seem to be a common opinion of other parents. The "girls are more bitchy" explanation was sadly painfully true. Perhaps just bad luck as far as the area and school goes though.

From what I've heard from my friends who have girls (I have boys), girls' friendship groups are far trickier. I think this is where it stems from.

My own experience is that the slightest complaint from a girl about another girl is put down to cliqueiness and bitchiness, whereas little boys can moan about each other for quite a long time without getting put in any category at all.

I suspect it is because we carry around with us an unspoken narrative that girls are responsible for other people's happiness: so we notice when they make someone unhappy.

I was bullied at primary by some lads in my class making nasty down-putting comments about my appearance: if that had been girls I know exactly what category it would have been docketed under. But I don't think the word bitchiness was ever mentioned...

Maybe girls are more difficult to raise because women face greater and more numerous challenges in life than men do, and you have to prepare and arm them for that.

I'm no expert. I have one ridiculously straightforward son.

I have 2 girls 2 boys...neither gender are easier tbh, all of them are disobedient, stubborn and strong willed, but those qualities can be positive too! At least i know my kids wont stand for crap from anybody in the future! X

Well, you learn something new every day. Until I read the OP I was under the impression that football is played mainly with the feet rather than the penis.

Penisball anyone?

When we had our second lovely daughter a friend of mine said it was wonderful because it would save me money as we now didn't have a son to have to send to private school. Yep, they sent their boys to private school but not their daughters , as a 'boys education is so much more important'. Assholes!

Those who have suggested this to me have basically indicated that it is because they wish to control the behaviour of boys less. Boys will be boys after all so if they get into fights and behave poorly towards girls then that's just lads isn't it?

Whereas men have suggested they have more hassle raising girls as they try to maks girls behave in a certain way and try to stop them from running into the behaviour of boys. Boys like they were allowed to be.

It's sexist horseshit as you know already to label them in the womb!

Having said that, my and my 3 sister were a hand full for my parents as teenagers, whereas my brother as a teenager was fairly straight forward. Even now my parents would say my DB is easier than us - I don't blame them.

I played football and was a 'tom boy', you can do everything with females that you can do with males and vice versa. The dad sounds like a sexist prick.

I've heard it said that boys wreck your sex life and girls wreck your looks.

Which is of course sexist nonsense.

I think it's pretty equal - there are loads of people who I know would rather have girls and i believe that this is strongly reflected in adoption rates where far more parents want little girls than little boys.

My experience is the opposite. Everyone i know thinks girls are easier. I just think they are all individuals, but my family all bang on about how much easier girls are. I had 2 boys and lots of pitying comments then when i had a girl everyone was relieved for me as how would i cope with 3 boys?

Having said that my boys are often the worst behaved horrors i've encountered, they are boisterous and massive and smash everything up on sight. I am very much hoping DD isn't like that. I don't care if it's gender stereotyping, i just really need a child which will sit and colour for 10 mins!

My 2 DD have both been far more articulate than DS, and so they argue more strongly. DS is the eldest, but loses every time. In that sense I can see why people claim girls are more trouble, because you tend to know more about what they're up to. It's bollworms of course. Boys are still trouble, they just prefer not to tell you.

*Bollworms was what autocorrect offered instead of what I actually typed. I rather like it.

I think one thing is that as girls hit puberty they have a swarm of hormones on a monthly cycle. Boys have a surge as they grow... Girls also tend to hit puberty first so being slightly younger = less self control (in theory) and therefore more out of control behaviour.

But it's swings and roundabouts.

In the theme of stereotyping DP would prefer DDs because 'they can do and like anything'. He feels (even though he doesn't like it) a girl can like star wars and disney princesses (or whatever...) where as a boy would be more likely to be bullied for liking the same. I sort of agree. Hate this 'gender' bull. And IMO this is part of it.

Bollworms is rather good. I like it.

Everyone told me that boys are easier than girls

Yet my Dd was so much easier than my ds

He is such a handful and a complete ball of energy.

Dd will happily go upstairs and watch a film or sit down and cuddle

Ds is always on the go and only wants a cuddle if he's jealous

I've had 3, 2 boys , 1 girl. The girl is most difficult, but that is down to the fact that she is severely autistic. I have no idea what her personality would have been like without her autism.
I was one of 5 siblings and my younger brother was the most difficult to parent out of the 5 of us.
My own 2 boys were both very different, each with their own challenges.

I have found dd much harder than the ds x2
I've heard others say this too. I think it has got something to do with being a girl especially if it is just their mothers they are difficult with.

As to the 'girls are bitches' thing, yes I have heard it and read it. Unfortunately some mothers model and encourage this kind of behaviour in their daughters. There is no need to slag other girls/women off, talk about them behind their back, etc etc. I do know some women who have done this, and its horrible.