AIBU - To feel sad and disappointed about my baby shower?

[user1483385529]

I'll start off by saying I'm pregnant and emotional and probably overthinking this but....

My sister kindly offered to throw me a baby shower at the end of Jan (DS1 is due in Feb). I gave her a list of people to invite in early Dec. Everyone has said they can't come except two colleagues, two neighbours (who are a couple) with one of their mums that I know, my mum and sister (MIL lives up North and can't make it down). Now bearing in mind people had notice and I only have a couple of friends with children, AIBU to be feeling very unpopular that hardly anyone is coming? I just feel like calling it off but I know my sister will have put effort in, but it's really upset me. To give a bit of back ground I've never had lots of friends, I'm quite a home bird but I just thought those people I did class as friends would make the effort (I do live about an hours drive away from some of them and others would have to get the tube). AIBU and should I stop crying over this?

llan .. I went to one Baby Shower , last Autumn .

There was food laid on and a cake had been made . Little boxes for slices of cake and a Thank You for coming card enclosed . Bought own alcoholic drinks or non alcoholic . Games consisted of How many Sweets in the Jar? Guess the weight and a quiz such as When did G find out she was pregnant ? etc .. . which were hard to be accurate with as I am not a close friend nor a relative so was hit and miss, mainly miss. Balloons too .

Not my kind of thing but I am getting on now but I didn't dislike it . I suppose they do various games and things at them.

6 hours from thread start to DM though - that's, er, impressive . . .

Shoddy journalism that is . .

Get a proper job. (sorry, couldn't resist) but blimey , ,we could all claim to be journalists to get into the industry then just lift real life issues from forums.

OP Prob a DM journo anyway.

Just seen it on daily fail. What a stupid, lazy excuse for journalism. Unbelievable that there is no news and they need to get a 'story' from here.

Bill - I am most definitely not working for the DM rotfl

You're just underneath 'shadow on woman's leg makes it look like she has a massive penis'. Your story is practically on the level of the Brexit vote result in comparison!

What a non-story (no offence, OP!). Fuck off DM, what a lazy bunch of twats you are.

And enjoy the baby shower, OP!

I've considered turning down a few baby shower invites due to infertility and really struggling with that. Maybe there's more going on in your friends life than you think.

There's a lot of sniffiness here directed at Americans.

It's just not warranted

They elected Trump president, of course it's warranted

Nice one january

I don't agree with baby showers and wouldn't go. They are an American import and I feel in bad taste- there is plenty of time to buy a gift for the baby when he or she has been born, for those who wish to do so.

It isn't about you op it's about baby showers, they are awful

I have been to a few baby showers mostly in the states where I was shocked by the pure greed in some cases. The invitations came with a list from babies r us and you could pick an item that they had marked as needing/wanting. The first shower we went to was for a teenage girl and we decided to splash out on one of the big baby swings. There were 4 on her list and she was bought each one along with multiple baths, changing mats, high chairs etc. the pile filled the entire room. ) 6 months later her sister also fell pregnant and we were once again presented with another huge list of things. We went for a bag of nappies in the end.
I've been to a few here in the UK which were not as bad I am still not sold on them.

Dear Daily Mail.

Please piss off.

My sister threw me a baby shower and I was initially dead against it for the usual reasons - it's an American tradition and also I find the concept a bit 'grabby.' But my sis as a first time aunt was so excited I couldn't say no and so I asked her to frame it as a sort of 'hen do' as obviously in the initial period after the birth I anticipated being stuck at home and not able to socialise so it was like the one last hurrah! I also asked her to stress that no one needed to bring presents, that they should just come ready to eat and drink! Despite this, quite a few friends dropped out last minute and although I still had about 10/11 guests (almost too many for my tiny little home) I felt a little bit hurt as the reasons for not coming seemed a little flimsy.
But that doesn't mean your loved ones aren't excited for you and I hope you enjoy this special time xx

I think the Americans are more optimistic than the British. Baby showers go against the grain in this country, where we feel it is tempting fate to buy gifts for a baby that hasn't yet safely arrived. That and the present grabbing-ness of it.

Yabu, a lot of people don't like baby showers. I decline as I feel very uncomfortable and find it cringe worthy having to endure all the 'me me me' games about pregnancy, the present opening, the dullness of an afternoon spent congratulating someone for being pregnant.

Just go for lunch with your friend or sister, keep it calm.

i'm with joystir on the tempting fate aspect, i am not normally supetstitious but i just can't bring myself to buy unborn babies a gift or even get the mother a baby related gift. i did do it once and it ended very sadly, i'm having a few tears thinking about it now even twenty years' on. I hadn't been to a baby shower, i just bought a 'guess how much i love you' baby record book for someone as an impulse present, the book itself had only recently been published and i read it to my baby so was thrilled to find it.

Aside from that I just think they are bad taste and grabby. The only exception is when you are going on maternity leave and your colleagues have a little do round the photocopier and give you some gifts.

I also have attending christening dilemmas and genuinely need advice but am nervous to start a thread cos it might end up on DM.

I also have attending christening dilemmas and genuinely need advice but am nervous to start a thread cos it might end up on DM.

Is that due to not being religious? It's absolutely fine not to go if you don't agree with it.

It's definitely the tempting fate bit that does it for me, I just don't get why you'd do it, why not wait till the baby has safely arrived?

saucily named paulapantsdown

I'd like to add i didn't have a hen night or a christening, i had a small wedding, did not issue a gift list and was very upfront about wanting people's presence rather than their presents. Sounds sickly i know lol but none of my friends and relatives have much disposable income and i wanted my wedding to be happy, not a cause of stress!

purpledaisies, i am an aethiest and have significant equality related issues with most religions lol but that's not actually the problem. Don't want to hijack thread, it's the promises bit that gets me. it is a very meaningful ceremony if you the parents and god parents are religious, a party involving making promises that you know won't be kept if they're not. imo that is lol.

Unless someone was a very, very dear friend or my sister I wouldn't drive an hour to go to a baby shower. In fact I think I would try to avoid them altogether where possible. If you don't have many friends it seems like setting yourself up for disaster to have one. They are not obligatory you know! I think there is too much pressure on people to go through with these daft things now. Honestly I think you'd feel better if you just cancelled the whole thing.