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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it you work from home you can still help out?!

218 replies

MusicalChairsOh · 11/01/2017 15:20

Dh worked from home today. (First day he has when ive not been at home with the dc) I went to work, took both dc to nursery which made me late as he was going to do it but sprung it on me 5 minutes before we all had to leave that he had to wash his hair before taking them so I just took them instead.

I've come home and all curtains are still closed, lights are on and everything is exactly the same as how I left this morning.

I'm now running about picking things up from the morning rush and sorting things out.

Aibu to think yes you are technically working but you could still help out even out of basic courtesy?!

OP posts:
Original poster
MusicalChairsOh · 13/01/2017 08:55

Haha to the pp who mentioned the pomade. It does smell really nice though!

OP posts:
Lifechanging2017 · 13/01/2017 09:05

Why don't you just work together to clean in the evening? unless it's child care related I don't see what the big deal is.

pluck · 13/01/2017 09:07

If he had an hour, you could have just left the children to him and walked out. It's not as though nursery is school or work, when one has to be on time. Moaning when you came home, and about something completely different, was just too late, and counter-productive! Confused

Original poster
MusicalChairsOh · 13/01/2017 09:27

I could have yes, but they were literally ready to go out the door, bags ready, shoes, coats on etc and so was I. When he came down (not even dressed) and declared he needed to wash his hair I decided to take them instead.
That was probably a mistake yes, and I accept that.

OP posts:
Hotforyou831 · 13/01/2017 09:39

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

2rebecca · 13/01/2017 09:48

He didn't NEED to wash his hair BEFORE he went out though. He could have done that when he got back if he had an hour spare and had a shower then. It seems bizarre to me that he didn't have a shower when he washed his hair but then needed one at 4pm. Has the bloke got a hygiene fetish?

HarryPottersMagicWand · 13/01/2017 10:00

I can't believe posters are saying YABU! Ffs, who works from home all day leaving every light on? What a waste of electricity and the expense. That is pure laziness. As was the hair washing. That was engineered so he didn't have to take the kids to school. Curtains, takes seconds and he didn't even have to start work for an hour. What he needed to do, school run, curtains, lights hair, should have taken half an hour. YANBU, he is a lazy arse and I'd be really pissed off too. I think posters are just jumping to conclusions about how much other people say they do whilst working from home without actually bothering to read your posts properly. As usual.

Marynary · 13/01/2017 10:18

Did he tell you he was going to rest for an hour before starting to work?Whether or not he "had" to start work in an hour, how do you know that he wasn't working at home because he needed to get a lot of stuff done?

Original poster
MusicalChairsOh · 13/01/2017 10:31

2rebecca, he didn't wash his hair as he didn't have to go out in the end, so had a shower in the afternoon instead.

Mary, he works at home one day a week as standard, not because of any needed special home concentration time for a big work load.

OP posts:
HairsprayBabe · 13/01/2017 10:46

I work from home and also have flexible hours between 7 and 7 so I do loads when I am WFH but carry on work tasks into the evening, e.g. start work at 7 do a few hours, stop at 10 for 1/2 an hour to make the dinner or do some washing back at work 10:30-1, 1 lunch and more domestic bits, 2-3:30 more work, 3:30 might hoover or tidy up for a bit 4-5 finish any outstanding work bits.

So I do a full day, but not in one go, breaks things up nicely, makes me more focused. I don't see the problem.

2rebecca · 13/01/2017 11:15

Could he really not drop off kids at nursery with messy hair?

Original poster
MusicalChairsOh · 13/01/2017 11:20

2rebecca, he really could have waited, I was a bit Hmm at the time. Couldn't be bothered with pointing out it's not a catwalk down the road. I should have just gone to work and left him with them but decided in the few seconds to just take them myself, that was a mistake on my part.

OP posts:
butterfliesandzebras · 13/01/2017 11:28

if you do work from home properly it will be just as taxing as work in the office

While I agree with this, I think you (and many other posters) are ignoring that not all jobs are as 'taxing' as others.

Some jobs are full on with no downtime (in which case doing anything round the house would be taking the piss), but others (particularly higher paid jobs that involve lots of problem solving/thinking time) naturally have lots of 'go make coffee and stare out the window while I think up a solution' times, that can easily be replaced by 'put on kettle and make up one bed/wipe one surface etc', which over the course of the day adds up to doing a few chores.

Also sick of people who don't take their legally entitled lunch breaks castigating those who do as shirkers, if a company doesn't want people working from home because they might actually get the breaks they legally should, the problem is a company run by criminals, not slack employees.

(Actually several companies I know have closed offices and gone to 100% home working because it's much cheaper - though it tends to be jobs where 'getting the job done' is more important than just 'having your bum in the seat for x hours' as a measure of working hard).

bibbitybobbityyhat · 13/01/2017 11:47

Yes, working from home and working in the office can be just as "taxing". Only a lazy git leaves the curtains closed and the lights on all day though.

SWtoSEGirl · 13/01/2017 20:19

If I am ever lucky enough to WFH I use the time I would have been commuting/ going out to grab lunch to put washing on, tidy & do a bit of lufe admin. I dont think yabu to ask that - it takes minutes. I sympathise as my DH is the same - he WFH a lot & uses the additional commuting time for a lie in!

Exhaustipated13 · 14/01/2017 08:55

I work from home when my children are sick (very rarely). It was my boss who suggested it. I manage to get all my work done, housework done in my break and find I am much more productive than in the office because there are less distractions!

Marynary · 14/01/2017 09:15

So I do a full day, but not in one go, breaks things up nicely, makes me more focused. I don't see the problem.

That is fine if it works for you but it doesn't work for others e.g. me and it would really annoy me to have a partner (who doesn't necessarily know much about the job) telling me that I should be fitting in household chores because I am working at home rather than an office. I prefer to work during working hours only, to sit at my desk most of the time and if I have a break it will be an actual break because that make me work more effectively when I am working.
Although I do put the washing on because it saves me time in the long run I won't do anything that can just as easily be done in the evening.

Marynary · 14/01/2017 09:20

Also sick of people who don't take their legally entitled lunch breaks castigating those who do as shirkers, if a company doesn't want people working from home because they might actually get the breaks they legally should, the problem is a company run by criminals, not slack employees.

I don't think anyone has castigated those who take hour lunch breaks as "shirkers" However, I don't think you are legally entitled to a whole hour. I think it is only 20 minutes. If I'm working at home I would prefer to use that time to have a break not to prepare lunch, hoover etc.

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