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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it you work from home you can still help out?!

218 replies

MusicalChairsOh · 11/01/2017 15:20

Dh worked from home today. (First day he has when ive not been at home with the dc) I went to work, took both dc to nursery which made me late as he was going to do it but sprung it on me 5 minutes before we all had to leave that he had to wash his hair before taking them so I just took them instead.

I've come home and all curtains are still closed, lights are on and everything is exactly the same as how I left this morning.

I'm now running about picking things up from the morning rush and sorting things out.

Aibu to think yes you are technically working but you could still help out even out of basic courtesy?!

OP posts:
VeryBitchyRestingFace · 11/01/2017 15:57

One of the 'perks' of working from home is that you're still able to muck in a bit at home ..... put a wash on, empty the dishwasher, make beds, run the hoover over. none of this takes very long and if he's not having to commute then it is very easily done.

Lol. You must be joking at make beds and run the hoover.

When I work from home, I'm on conference calls for hours. Not sure whether my clients would appreciate me pootling off to put a wash on, unstack the dishwasher, hoover the gaff etc.

Okay so not everyone will be on constant calls when they WFH, but I think it's unreasonable to expect them to do much beyond a few dishes.

ExplodedCloud · 11/01/2017 15:57

In order to get my hours in to my schedule I rarely if ever take a lunch break at home or in the office. I don't do 9-5 days. It's meetings or head down and crack on.

Crazycatladyloz82 · 11/01/2017 15:58

YANBU. I work from home a few days a week. On those days I get a few loads of washing done when I am waiting for the kettle to boil instead of staring into space like I would at work waiting for the kettle to boil. I arrange an online shop to be delivered in my lunch hour and if I am living the dream I treat myself to doing ironing and vacuuming in my lunch hour I am a lucky girl. I also use some of the time I would normally spend commuting on my office days to do housework. These are the exact reasons why I asked to work from home a couple of days a week as otherwise I would find coping with motherhood, work and running a household very very stressful as DH sadly does not help much as he works ridiculous hours and travels for work. If he is working from home as a permanent thing he needs to accept housework as one of the "perks".

Chewbecca · 11/01/2017 15:58

I do some minor chores whilst WFH, just as in the office I go for coffee, go out for lunch, have a chat etc. By spending a few mins here and there getting stuff done plus in commuting time, it really eases the weekly load. That's one of the reasons we do it?

Today I am WFH and had the 2nd load of washing out of the machine before I even logged on at 9. I've unloaded the dishwasher and put one of the wash loads away.

MarmiteDoesYouGood · 11/01/2017 16:02

Sounds like he's just a lazy git tbh. Towels left on the floor and undrawn curtains? Is he a teenager?

I work from home and so far today I've also done and hung out one load of laundry, cleaned the kitchen floor, done the washing up and cleaned the kitchen worktops. Just because it all needed doing pretty severely and it only took me 10 minutes here and 10 minutes there.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 11/01/2017 16:02

There are two extremes on MN.

On the one hand, you get (some) SAHP who think their only job should be to look after the children and it would be unreasonable to expect them to lift a finger to do housework during the day because they are a stay at home parent, not a housewife/husband.

And then you get people who think WFH means you should be able to meet all professional commitments plus do the dishes/unstack dishwasher/put a washing on/do the hoovering etc.

Confused

Not aimed at you, btw OP. The thing about the hair and subsequent posts indicate he's a pisstaker.

BrieAndChilli · 11/01/2017 16:04

It depends - curtains in kids rooms where he's not likely to hve entered YABU, curtains in lounge - doesn't take 2 secs to open them when passing to mark a cup of tea
I work from home but don't start until lunch time so do have the morning to tidy/hang up washing etc.
When I do work I tend to only get up to make a cuppa/go to toilet and so don't do anything

shovetheholly · 11/01/2017 16:06

I refuse to believe that anyone working from home is too busy to open the curtains. Unless you are the Queen and have 1,000 windows, that is.

SapphireStrange · 11/01/2017 16:07

Well, I work at home and I don't like the assumption that I'm less 'at work' because of where I happen to be.

So I wouldn't expect my household to be pissed off if I didn't do things for them or clear up after them.

Having said that, I do things like opening the curtains and clearing the draining board while I'm waiting for the kettle to boil. Unless he was on a long phone call or guiding in drone strikes or something, he could/would surely do that much?

And what a diva about having to wash his hair. Hmm Grin

OneWithTheForce · 11/01/2017 16:09

I usually leave home (7am) I nip out to do the school run for ten minutes at 8:45am and 3pm and then carry on working until 6pm.

Who looks after your DC before and after school?

TheMysteriousJackelope · 11/01/2017 16:09

I would not expect DH to help out when he is working from home. When he is working at home it is usually so he can concentrate on his work without being dragged into meetings and people dropping into his office to chat. When DH works from home, he is working, not pissing about with showers and hair washing, he gets that done as soon as he gets up.

I would not be impressed at dumping towels on the floor after having a shower. Your DH seems to have your house confused with a hotel, and that isn't incredibly polite in a hotel either (unless you are letting someone know the towels are used and need to be laundered).

Bear2014 · 11/01/2017 16:10

Of course you can! I work from home 2 days a week and I use my lunch break, which I'm still entitled to, to do a bit of cooking/washing etc. You're also still legitimately allowed screen breaks, in which you can draw curtains, even go for a quick walk around the block.

You wouldn't think twice about leaving your desk in the office so why at home?

Starypjs · 11/01/2017 16:10

I work from home and I have to work much harder than I do in the office as our boss doesn't like it.

dollydaydream114 · 11/01/2017 16:11

I would expect the curtains to be opened, purely because sitting there all day working with the curtains closed is just plain gloomy and weird, but I definitely wouldn't expect any household chores to be done.

DP and I both have jobs which entail working from home one day a week (on different days). We'll put our lunch plate/cutlery in the dishwasher and wipe the worktop after we've made some lunch (just as we would in the office kitchen if we'd made some lunch there), but that's about it. The rest of the time is work time, just as it would be if we were in the office.

Since you posted just after 3pm, does that mean you work part-time? If you work part-time and he works full-time, you still have more free time in your day for household stuff than he does - the fact that he does his work from home is immaterial to that.

anotheryearcomesandgoes · 11/01/2017 16:12

You are missing the key word WORKING

Not taking the piss at his employe expense and doing the housework.
If he is paid per hour and clocks in and out then yes. But if he is salaried then no way.

No wonder employers hesitate to agree to home working with the attitudes on this thread.

DailyFail1 · 11/01/2017 16:12

shovetheholly I am either on conference calls 12 hours a day at home, or prepping a 200 page presentation for a high profile deal, or doing big data analysis with 24-48 hour turnaround. Believe me, if you do work from home properly it will be just as taxing as work in the office, and people shouldn't be expected to do the housework at all.

shovetheholly · 11/01/2017 16:14

When I had a job that involved an office and I was at work, I had to use my lunch break to do life stuff occasionally.

When I worked from home, I used breaks to put on a load of washing. I worked well over the number of hours I was paid for, and I was not only entitled to a 5 minute break from the screen and typing, but actually needed it to stop my shoulder seizing up (typing for 10 hours a day is no good for you!)

Of course, you can't clean the entire house top to bottom and still do your hours, but you definitely can spare the time to put a load of washing on. It's, what, 5 minutes in total? I bet he spent longer than that looking at the news or other stuff online, which isn't "work" either!

Bear2014 · 11/01/2017 16:15

No wonder employers hesitate to agree to home working with the attitudes on this thread.

Salaried people are still allowed lunch breaks and screen breaks. You don't have to be chained to your seat all day. If you eat a sandwich at your desk while working, you can then legitimately do a few chores for half an hour in lieu of a lunch break.

You can also cancel out the time you would normally be commuting.

shovetheholly · 11/01/2017 16:16

dailyfail - you can't open a curtain and be on a conference call? That seems like a multitasking fail. I have also worked in extremely high pressure jobs (director of comms for a national organisation that was often in the press), and I often had to be on two calls at once AND the email AND twitter. So there! Grin

Aderyn2016 · 11/01/2017 16:17

If he had time to wash his hair, then he had time to open the curtains

Original poster
MusicalChairsOh · 11/01/2017 16:20

Yes I work part time now. I've just started back last week after maternity leave.

I don't expect him to be doing huge jobs around the place but to not even bother to open the curtains is lazy surely.

It takes seconds to open the curtains, seconds to pick up laundry from the floor.

He had an hour free to himself from when we left to when he had to start work.

OP posts:
anotheryearcomesandgoes · 11/01/2017 16:21

He might like working in the dark or may want to block out the outside world in order to work? My curtains are still drawn!

noramum · 11/01/2017 16:21

DH works from home, around 3 1/2 years now. He normally works from 7am-4.30pm with 1/4 hr break for breakfast with us and whatever he does for lunch.

We still have our respective split of tasks. I drop DD off in the morning, he picks her up on my workdays . The pick up is normally the end of his working day unless he has a late con-call in this case DD has to entertain herself for one hour (she is 9, perfectly capable)

He is ok to do the dishes but that is it. No tidying up, no cleaning, no shopping unless it is on route to pick up. Before I leave the curtains are drawn, a load is on in the washing machine (for me to deal with later), some rooms are aired and DD is sorted out with food and drinks. It took a while to get a good routine in but it works.

But, he is also the one who acts as emergency cover, takes DD to GP/Dentist appointments, does the majority of school related communication.

When I work from home than I ignore the house mostly as well.

PrettyLittleGuinea · 11/01/2017 16:21

Depends on the situation, I guess. My friend works from home and still allows himself short breaks in which he does minor household tasks. His wife struggles with her health and cannot drive, so he does need to do a lot, really.

DailyFail1 · 11/01/2017 16:23

shovetheholly- There are some days where I'm so busy I can't. I'm an analyst at a bank - my guess is maybe the working culture between out industries is v v different.