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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it you work from home you can still help out?!

218 replies

MusicalChairsOh · 11/01/2017 15:20

Dh worked from home today. (First day he has when ive not been at home with the dc) I went to work, took both dc to nursery which made me late as he was going to do it but sprung it on me 5 minutes before we all had to leave that he had to wash his hair before taking them so I just took them instead.

I've come home and all curtains are still closed, lights are on and everything is exactly the same as how I left this morning.

I'm now running about picking things up from the morning rush and sorting things out.

Aibu to think yes you are technically working but you could still help out even out of basic courtesy?!

OP posts:
PatriciaHolm · 11/01/2017 17:11

However this... So today has been a work day but I have cooked a meal, done 4 loads of washing, emptied the dishwasher and put away a load of laundry is an absolute pisstake of your employer, and is exactly the reason my employer is clamping down on "working from home".

Of course it isn't. It may be that the poster has saved 2 hours on commuting time, and all of those things together wouldn't take anything like that. If she's managed to do all the work she was required to do today, why should the employer care? If she hasn't, that's a separate issue of course, but assuming all her work is done and she didn't miss any important calls etc, what is the problem?

Mindtrope · 11/01/2017 17:17

chicrock- you are funny.

"Pisstaking"?

I can guarantee 100% that my employer does not mind me cooking, doing laundry or any of the other tasks I manage to dovetail into my working day.

pluck · 11/01/2017 17:20

How many threads have we read about posters whose home-working is not respected? Working from home is not compatible with housework, so I think you're being a bit unreasonable to focus on the curtains.

HOWEVER, "displacing" domestic tasks (getting the kids to school) with washing his hair, especially at the last minute, definitely IS taking the piss! Don't get distracted by the curtain business or you'll lose this argument with him!

Mindtrope · 11/01/2017 17:24

pluck I fid working from home is compatable with housework- I flit between the two, I can put something in the slow cooker or boil a pan of pasta, work while the washing machine is running etc.

ChicRock · 11/01/2017 17:26

I can guarantee 100% that my employer does not mind me cooking, doing laundry or any of the other tasks I manage to dovetail into my working day

And no doubt spend a good portion of your day on MN too.

TinselTwins · 11/01/2017 17:29

I was going to say YABU because I cannot work with the kids around, but your OP is just about a bit of clearing up from the morning, so no YANBU, even at my actual work place I do odd bits of clearing up/tidying along with my role.

Mindtrope · 11/01/2017 17:29

But that's my choice chicrock.

I have still earned £200 today. So I'm happy.

Jaxhog · 11/01/2017 17:29

YABU. I work from home and get royally fed up with the 'can you just do...' requests. I'm WORKING!!

The hair washing thing is weird though.

Guitargirl · 11/01/2017 17:35

I work from home quite a bit. All the posters saying that your employer does not pay you to carry out household tasks. That's true. But my employer also does not pay me for my 2.5 hour commute. That's 2.5 hours in the day which I get back on the days I don't have to go into the office. 2.5 hours is definitely enough time to open some curtains, clear away after breakfast (and quite a lot more besides).

Funnily enough my employer also does not pay me to listen for 45 minutes to my useless waste of a space boss's woes about her son's problems looking for a job, or to listen to the director's tales of what her children got for Christmas or how difficult it was for whatshername in HR to get in because of the tube strike. But all of these things I have to put up with when am actually 'in work' and can cheerfully discount these absolutely ridiculous demands on my time when am at home. One day am going to write down and add up all these 'little' interruptions over the course of a week as part of the evidence of how much more productive I am when not forced to go into that cesspit of pointless small talk.

anotheryearcomesandgoes · 11/01/2017 17:39

But that's my choice chicrock.I have still earned £200 today. So I'm happy.

Then it sounds like if you work on a daily rate you are not a salaried employee -so not the same thing at all.

BBCNewsRave · 11/01/2017 17:42

pluck Working from home is not compatible with housework, so I think you're being a bit unreasonable to focus on the curtains.

But opening curtains is basic stuff! If he got to work and all the blinds were drawn so the place was in darkness, he'd open them surely? It's not "housework" it's just a basic task like switching on a light or flushing the loo. Ditto stuff like not leaving laundry on the floor and at least putting dirty crockery in the kitchen rather than leaving it all over the place.

Mindtrope · 11/01/2017 17:45

No one is talking about whether we are salaried or not.

rockchic said I was taking the piss. She made the assumptions.

Being self employed is still working you know.

OneWithTheForce · 11/01/2017 17:46

Onewiththeforce you have to remember that not everyone on MN has tiny children

I didn't assume you did. I asked who looked after them. Answer: you do, whilst being paid to work.

OneWithTheForce · 11/01/2017 17:50

Opening curtains is what you do before you leave for work. He didn't need to fit it into his working day. He could have done it in 2 seconds as he walked past them.

pluck · 11/01/2017 17:56

I don't always bother opening curtains in rooms I'm not going to go into.

On doing the laundry, I'm take-it-or-leave-it, pfft! Grin

Pendrive · 11/01/2017 17:57

I work from home quite a lot and don't do loads of jobs but I do put a load of washIng on and usually tidy up breakfast mess. However does depend on how busy I am.
Like pps said, when you are at work you don't work non stop. You chat with colleagues. Have a lunchbreak. Working with no breaks for hours on end is supposed to be quite non productive isn't it. Better to have a break and refresh your brain. So yanbu unless he was very busy with work.

OneWithTheForce · 11/01/2017 17:58

Maybe it's just his standard to have curtains closed all day. Easy way to find out. Don't open them and see how long he can cope before needing fresh air and sunlight.

Pendrive · 11/01/2017 17:59

Good point about commute time as well. He could have spent that time doing some basic tidying. I use that time to go for a run, which makes me so much more productive because I feel really energised. Unlike a commute on a busy train.

Marynary · 11/01/2017 18:08

Apart from the hair wash, YABU. I work at home a lot and would be seriously pissed off if DH felt that meant I should be doing more housework. I put a wash on before starting work and take out the clothes and hang them up at lunch time but that's about it. I do have a lunch break but I need that time to rest, just as people in an office do.
Being at home has advantages in that I don't have to commute, so my day is a bit shorter and I can take the children to appointments etc but I don't think I would be allowed to do it anymore if I slacked off to do housework.

BackforGood · 11/01/2017 18:10

Not understanding the angst about the curtains, tbh.
It will depend on the layout of your house.

When I work from home I work in a study (spare bedroom) so only go in that room, bathroom and kitchen. I don't go round the house checking if other curtains are open or shut. Is that a thing ? Confused

OneWithTheForce · 11/01/2017 18:13

I've never understood people who don't open their curtains and windows every day.

Sugarandsalt · 11/01/2017 18:14

I work from home occasionally, usually just an afternoon. I come home, tidy after breakfast, put a wash on then work for a few hours and then pick DD up from nursery. Those days I take out my laptop again once DD is in bed. My boss doesn't care what time I work as long as it gets done. In return I am very flexible- I'll pick up urgent things at weekends/late in the evenings. Works for us.

MusicalChairsOh · 11/01/2017 18:23

The curtains is a thing because we live in a flat. The whole place had not one curtain open. The lights were on in all the rooms. There's no need for it!

OP posts:
anotheryearcomesandgoes · 11/01/2017 18:28

No one is talking about whether we are salaried or not.Being self employed is still working you know.

I am self employed. That means that if I want to put the washing on or go and have my hair cut in the afternoon I can.

But I don't do it whilst I am charging a client for my time.

It is not the same thing at all as being salaried and slacking off. Being self employed means that if you don't do the work that is your choice.

Megatherium · 11/01/2017 18:47

Satisfy our curiosity: why could he only wash his hair at school time, and not any earlier or later?