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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it you work from home you can still help out?!

218 replies

MusicalChairsOh · 11/01/2017 15:20

Dh worked from home today. (First day he has when ive not been at home with the dc) I went to work, took both dc to nursery which made me late as he was going to do it but sprung it on me 5 minutes before we all had to leave that he had to wash his hair before taking them so I just took them instead.

I've come home and all curtains are still closed, lights are on and everything is exactly the same as how I left this morning.

I'm now running about picking things up from the morning rush and sorting things out.

Aibu to think yes you are technically working but you could still help out even out of basic courtesy?!

OP posts:
Mindtrope · 11/01/2017 16:25

I work from home and do most of the housework too.

So today has been a work day but I have cooked a meal, done 4 loads of washing, emptied the dishwasher and put away a load of laundry.
I can flit between work tasks and housework

Trifleorbust · 11/01/2017 16:25

He is being an idiot. If he had time to make tea, he had time to open the curtains and maybe stick a wash on.

Magicpaintbrush · 11/01/2017 16:27

I work from home and get up at 6am to make sure I have time to get as many chores done (whilst getting my Dd ready for school and doing her packed lunch) before the school run as I can so that when I get back I can get straight to work. During the day I will usually have juggle working with laundry etc (although this is actually very frustrating and pisses me off when work is busy). I wouldn't dream of leaving the curtains closed all day or the house all cluttered up. YANBU to expect a bit of basic house stuff to be done.

sugarplumfairy28 · 11/01/2017 16:27

It entirely depends what the job is and how in control of his workload he is. I worked from home for 4 and 1/2 years. I would work in the office for 3 days and at home for 2. I wasn't on the phone, and had to manage my own workload. I would also do most of the household stuff too, without it impacting my work. In the office there were more people distracting me, needing help and things like that. At home I could get through my workload more quickly so I could spend 5 minutes putting the washing on while waiting for the kettle and things like that. If for any reason I was busier than the house stuff wouldn't get done.

Birdandsparrow · 11/01/2017 16:28

I work from home as a freelance translator. Sometimes I won't have much work in, but I always have admin and other stuff to do. I have set hours and an office space and in that time then I wouldn't be putting the washing out or hoovering unless it was a really slow day with very little to do and even then I'd probably just finish for the day and then do the housework.
Having said that he does sound like he's using working from home today to do fuck all.

UnexplainedOnHerCollar · 11/01/2017 16:29

Throughout my long relationship with ex, I was the one who worked at home. That meant I did school and nursery runs and most of the housework, dealt with workmen etc, did all the shopping and most of the cooking, because he didn't get in till 6.30/7. He couldn't do all that stuff because he had a proper job. Funny that.

Like your H, my ex just wanted to get out of drudge work he considered dull or beneath him, and was quite happy to leave it to me and use any excuse available.

BorpBorpBorp · 11/01/2017 16:36

It obviously depends on the type of work. When DP works from home she doesn't put on a load of washing or empty the dishwasher in her 'break' because she doesn't take breaks, let alone a lunch hour. She is literally working 9am-5pm (or later), taking 5 minutes to microwave some left overs to eat at her desk, plus 2 or 3 loo breaks. I guess technically she is entitled to a break, but the nature of her job is such that there is always much more work to do than can possibly be done.

BakeOffBiscuits · 11/01/2017 16:39

Dh and I both work from home.

We BOTH do domestic stuff during the day, in between working.

He is most definitely taking the piss.

Mistletoetastic · 11/01/2017 16:43

I empty dishwasher or put on a load of washing when WFH. I sometimes prepare dinner but during a lunch break, if I take a break.

I get really engrossed sometimes and haven't time for anything, cups pile up on my desk, lunch is 4pm or not at all, I bought a coffee machine with tea and coffee pods so that I don't have to wait

OllyBJolly · 11/01/2017 16:46

Housework is either work or it's not. It's certainly not (in my book anyway!) down time. So yes, at work I might chat to colleagues etc but that's a diversion. Hoovering, laundry etc is not a diversion.

DH works from home one day a week (employers' work life balance policy). He does nothing else but sit at his desk and work. He stops for two tea breaks a day, and for half an hour lunch (still makes his packed lunch the night before). He stops dead on 4.30pm.

I work from home more often. I will do household tasks but usually for reasons of procrastination when I have a deadline looming. I'm self employed so only taking the piss out of myself really. I work way more hours than he does but that's the nature of the different work.

Generally, DH does way more housework than I do. I don't think WFH should mean getting housework done. If it is done, it's an extra, not an expectation.

ChicRock · 11/01/2017 16:48

Not opening the curtains, or wiping down the worktops whilst waiting for the kettle to boil, or putting used dishes into the dishwasher, is laziness.

However this... So today has been a work day but I have cooked a meal, done 4 loads of washing, emptied the dishwasher and put away a load of laundry is an absolute pisstake of your employer, and is exactly the reason my employer is clamping down on "working from home".

Megatherium · 11/01/2017 16:48

He had to wash his hair at school run time and it couldn't possibly wait? And then he had to come down for a shower later on during the day? Does he have some sort of washing obsession? I would agree that he shouldn't be doing housework on his employer's time, but that also means he shouldn't be showering on that time either.

christmaswreaths · 11/01/2017 16:53

It surely depends how busy you are when working from home.

I have worked from home for years and always found it unpredictable in terms of what I got done around the house. It varied hugely from being able to put the dishwasher/washing on, a bit of ironing and do my personal emails to barely having time to go to the toilet. Really depends on how busy the job gets.

MuseumOfCurry · 11/01/2017 16:57

Who decided that his hair demanded immediate attention?

I8toys · 11/01/2017 16:59

YANBU - I work from home two days a week and try and do all the chores and evening meals for when everyone comes homes. Work harder on those days when in the office.

cdtaylornats · 11/01/2017 17:00

If I'm working from home I'm working, not working part time while doing a bit of housework.

AmeliaJack · 11/01/2017 17:03

Onewiththeforce you have to remember that not everyone on MN has tiny children.

My DC are 9 yo. They don't need my help to get out of bed, get washed and dressed and get breakfast. They do their music practice after breakfast and then it's time to go. All bags are packed the night before.

After school they get a snack, do their homework and then either read, go out to play or watch some TV.

I'm there if they need me but they aren't toddlers who need me monitoring their every moment.

ToastieRoastie · 11/01/2017 17:04

I work from home and don't get time to do housework. I'm lucky my employer lets me work from home so I make sure I'm focusing on work. I get flexibility to pop out for school stuff -e.g. watch an assembly. I don't think I'd have flexibility if my employer thought I was doing household tasks instead of working!

But... if your DH had an hour between you leaving and him actually starting to do any work, he could have sorted some housework in that time.

Lilaclily · 11/01/2017 17:05

But op posted at 15.21 , so what time did she get home and rush about doing everything before logging in here Grin

AmeliaJack · 11/01/2017 17:06

Lilac not everyone is in the U.K. you know.

debbs77 · 11/01/2017 17:06

Depends. I work exclusively from home, am a single parent and do everything!

PatriciaHolm · 11/01/2017 17:07

Surely one of the key benefits of WFH is no commuting time. In DH's case, that gains him 2.5 hours a day, so on a WFH home he still has plenty of time to do some jobs around the house as well as putting in a full work day.

I do a salaried job, as does he, but in both cases no-one cares about measuring the hours you put in, just about the fact the job is done. So if he is insanely busy on conference calls when WFH, little may get done. If he's got few meetings and is in top of other presentations etc, he may have quite a bit of time - he's spent an hour or so car fettling today for example as he's WFH. He was at his desk here at 8am though whereas he wouldn't normally get to his desk until 9. So in his case, I would generally expect the little things to be done - it takes 5 minutes to unload a dishwasher for example, 10 minutes to put out some bins. I wouldn't expect a house to be top to toe cleaned, but I would expect the general day to day keep-on-top-of-crap to happen.

Lilaclily · 11/01/2017 17:07

I'm now running about picking things up from the morning rush and sorting things out

Probably took 20 minutes to open the curtains and put breakfast away and hey presto, it's 4 of clock , me and dh and kids get home at 6.30/ 7pm and then rush about doing everything

Lilaclily · 11/01/2017 17:07

Amelia true true

PetalMettle · 11/01/2017 17:08

Now you see I was pissed off the other day when DH got home and had a go at me for not tidying up the toys. I'd done the dishwasher and washing in what would have been my lunch hour but agree the amount some people are doing is taking the piss.

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