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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it you work from home you can still help out?!

218 replies

MusicalChairsOh · 11/01/2017 15:20

Dh worked from home today. (First day he has when ive not been at home with the dc) I went to work, took both dc to nursery which made me late as he was going to do it but sprung it on me 5 minutes before we all had to leave that he had to wash his hair before taking them so I just took them instead.

I've come home and all curtains are still closed, lights are on and everything is exactly the same as how I left this morning.

I'm now running about picking things up from the morning rush and sorting things out.

Aibu to think yes you are technically working but you could still help out even out of basic courtesy?!

OP posts:
pluck · 12/01/2017 20:42

I went to work, took both dc to nursery which made me late as he was going to do it but sprung it on me 5 minutes before we all had to leave that he had to wash his hair before taking them so I just took them instead.

He's STILL got away with that because everyone's fetting all hoiky-bosomed about the curtains! Also, why should someone do householdy things on their working day?

You let him make you late for work. That's surely the issue.

ilovechocolate07 · 12/01/2017 21:06

My DH helps with lots anyway and will often work from home if I need to be at a school event and I can't pick up DD. I'm a SAHM too. I suppose it depends what he does.

MumsTheWordYouKnow · 12/01/2017 21:07

Sounds like an inability to multi task Wink Surely one of the perks of working at home is you get a bit of time to keep on top of things and use the time you save travelling. I'd be having word. Sounds like he's taking the proverbial.

Lifechanging2017 · 12/01/2017 21:15

YABU. I work from home too and if I stop to tidy, put laundry in or unload the dishwasher it really starts eating into my work day and it makes it so that I am unfocused on the work that I have to get done. When I am working from home I normally wake up at 6am, workout for an hour, get showered, dressed and makeup on and then I am sat at my desk for the next 8-9 hours working. Having to stop every couple of hours to do a task around the house is really disruptive to my work schedule. I do however clean and tidy either early in the morning before my workout or at the end of the day after work.

I do find it really annoying when other people don't take my work seriously just because I am working from home. I am constantly having to explain to people that working from home does not mean that I can run errands during the day, meet friends for a coffee or clean the house.

Barmymum2112 · 12/01/2017 21:16

I work from home from time to time (usually when LO is poorly or I'm poorly. But when I do I work, yes I make a cuppa but other than that it's business as usual, phone calls emails planning I don't slack off but I also don't tell people I've had an extra hour to work on their stuff as I've stayed in my PJs

Nanna50 · 12/01/2017 21:19

On the days I work at home I don't do any chores I have a home office and once I've clocked in then I'm working. I don't want to be running round doing bits of jobs. I'm so more productive without the distractions. The house is left exactly the same as if I was out at work.
The fact he let you down over the school run and left a mess is a different issue I would be pissed off at that whether he was working at home or out at work.

trixymalixy · 12/01/2017 21:19

YABU. He's supposed to be working.

Sometimes whom I work from home I manage to stick on a wash, but more oftens I switch my laptop on at 7.30am and barely manage to go to the loo until 8pm as I'm so busy.

Blacksox · 12/01/2017 21:22

My dh works from home most days.

He also manages to do school run, massive dog walk, washing, tumble drying, dishwasher, housework and cooking despite having a very demanding job.

He's a marvel, admittedly.

GymBunnyWannabe · 12/01/2017 21:22

YABVVVU

Working from home is for working

joystir59 · 12/01/2017 21:34

I often work from home (self employed) and do all sorts of jobs in between working. I often start work at 7am though and so have done a fair few hours by 3pm, when I've run out of steam. I'm an artist.

bluebellsparklypants · 12/01/2017 21:38

Yanbu

I would be pissed aswel at that. Few minutes here and there to open curtains and pick stuff up off the floor is not unreasonable to ask. So funny about him washing his hair! (Not that men don't wash their hair just that he had to do it before the agreed school run!).
Could you try and agree on a little rota for days of wfh?

Mindtrope · 12/01/2017 21:41

gymbunny, so working from home you would do nothing else but work?

You wouldn't change feed a hungry cat, answer the door or take a personal phone call, change loo roll, pick up some discarded laundry on the way to another room or switch on the dishwasher?

It's strange because when I worked I saw many people in work environments not working either-
Endless trips for coffee, cigarette breaks, flirting at the photocopier, endless chat about nights out, planning social events, playing computer games, eating.

Strange you would work harder at home.

Thinkmummy · 12/01/2017 21:43

That is so lazy, I work from home two days a week. I save around 1hr 40 in commuting on those days so spend that time plus 30 min of my 1 hour lunch break doing chores that way I can relax in the evening and spend family time with my dh and dd at the weekend

Catlady1976 · 12/01/2017 21:43

Yanbu. He could at least spend a proportion of his commute time opening curtains or loading dishwasher.
Not that my dh did seem he worked from home. He would have a lie and shut himself away.

kittybiscuits · 12/01/2017 21:48

Sorry I haven't read the thread but I'd say he took the piss at the very first opportunity!

autumnglow · 12/01/2017 21:49

I'd like to know if those who think you ABU if they ever WFH? By WFH you save the commuting time, save the time from colleagues visiting you at your desk, chatting at the coffee machine, popping out for lunch etc. Unless he had a mega urgent piece of work to get through and was in a panic induced frenzy I'd say he was defo BU. No-one expects anyone to 'do the weekly chores but you'd think he;d be capable of doing the basics

Sofabitch · 12/01/2017 21:55

I can't do anything houses when working from home.

I need to get into a zone and focus.

If he had previously arranged to take children then he should have stuck to that. But otherwise yabu

Nanna50 · 12/01/2017 21:56

Mindtrope I think you have a good point there about time wasted in the office. I actually do work harder at home without the flow of office interruptions, I can concentrate so much better.

AFierceBadRabbit · 12/01/2017 21:58

I have worked from home for the past decade.
My family (toxic mother and sister, etc) still insist that I have all day to do whatever I like, put my feet up, do errands and fanny about at leisure.

But I can see where you're coming from, my partner works from home, too, and sometimes when I get back from a shopping trip I am puzzled as to how he hasn't managed to wash up, hoover or clean the work tops.

Not opening curtains would certainly make me Angry but a sit down talk might help to sort a few things out.

I'm a lot more get up and go of a morning than he is, and it takes him hours to get into organized mode. I usually have to just give and take and accept he isn't exactly like me.

paxillin · 12/01/2017 22:02

"Daddy has to wash his luscious locks first" would become shorthand for a master faffer for years to come Grin.

maggiethemagpie · 12/01/2017 22:09

I work from home whilst DH is a stay at home dad. I do the laundry, empty the dishwasher etc but not much else. Our youngest has just started nursery four days a week so he has 22 hours to himself, why should I be doing the housework when I'm working and he has all that free time?

kittybiscuits · 12/01/2017 22:09

Pomade....you should LTB just for that!!

hiccupgirl · 12/01/2017 22:11

YANBU when I WFH I manage to empty the dishwasher and do a load of washing, feed the cats etc in between getting way more done than in the office.

DH, on the other hand, can't manage anything other than working and making himself a cup of coffee now and again. But even he would manage to open curtains I think.

dorisdog · 12/01/2017 22:17

Of course you can do (small, quick) jobs when you're working from home. In a work placement you would waste way more time in pointless meetings, chatting to colleagues. Plus, you're supposed to take screen/coffee breaks! It's not the victorian era. If you're in a work place, you'd spend sometime cleaning your work area, anyway, so why wouldn't you spend 10mins doing that at home-its still your work place, afterall.

GymBunnyWannabe · 12/01/2017 22:21

@Mindtrope

"gymbunny, so working from home you would do nothing else but work?

You wouldn't change feed a hungry cat, answer the door or take a personal phone call, change loo roll, pick up some discarded laundry on the way to another room or switch on the dishwasher?

Strange you would work harder at home."

You are absolutely correct, I wouldn't switch on the dishwasher or the washing machine or phone my friend. I wouldn't do anything of those things if I were sitting at my desk in the office, so why does it suddenly become ok to do them when you're being paid to work from home?

I have WFH before and I did indeed work harder from home. Isn't that the whole point of it? That there aren't any distractions such as chats by the water cooler and overheard conversations from the next desk down?