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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think it you work from home you can still help out?!

218 replies

MusicalChairsOh · 11/01/2017 15:20

Dh worked from home today. (First day he has when ive not been at home with the dc) I went to work, took both dc to nursery which made me late as he was going to do it but sprung it on me 5 minutes before we all had to leave that he had to wash his hair before taking them so I just took them instead.

I've come home and all curtains are still closed, lights are on and everything is exactly the same as how I left this morning.

I'm now running about picking things up from the morning rush and sorting things out.

Aibu to think yes you are technically working but you could still help out even out of basic courtesy?!

OP posts:

AmeliaJack · 11/01/2017 18:48

Onewiththeforce

I may be being a tiny bit sensitive to your tone but I do sense an implied criticism in your last post.

On WFH days I wake my DC at 7:55am (having already worked for an hour) At 8 am I have an audio call with my boss for 45mins while they get on with it. Then we both take our kids to school.

My company gets at least 20 hours free from me a week My boss knows exactly how I structure my WFH because he (and his boss) do exactly the same and are encouraged to do so by our employer.

Not all jobs are about clocking in and out. Lots of work is results driven.

FV45 · 11/01/2017 18:51

I WFH. My computer locks down for 5 mins out of every hour. I can do ALOT in that 5 mins.

YANBU

OneWithTheForce · 11/01/2017 18:53

You both take your DC to school? as in their father? Why do you both do it?

And yes there was a slight criticism, not in what you do (wfh whilst having you DC in your care) but in that you are saying you are working from home when really you aren't, you are juggling work and childcare. And why on earth are you doing 20 hours worth of work for free??

longtimelooker · 11/01/2017 18:54

Both me and my partner work from home regularly although rarely at the same time.

The difference in how we spend our time is massive! I still get up as if I was going to the office and use that time to get the house straight etc. Usually log on and start working around 8am and spend my day working mainly but I always prep dinner and run the hoover around!

When he works from home he sees it as a lay in so gets up at 8:30ish eats and logs straight on. He will shower and get himself ready in the day but not the home .. He's too busy for that!

Its simple time management. When I'm in office I would say I work 4/5 out of 7 working hours factoring team chatting, getting a drink, colleges asking questions. At home I 100% do a solid 7 hours if not more I just use the extra commuting time wisely and work flexibly!

yummycake123 · 11/01/2017 19:01

YANBU. I work from home one day a week and on that day I manage to clean, cook, do the laundry, etc. and work!
I start work early (log in at 8am) , then I take some time in the morning to tidy up a bit, at lunchtime I cook and in the afternoon I might vacuum clean. I log off around 5-5.30pm.
Usually I commute 1.5 hours each way so the time I save commuting I use it to do things around the house...

AmeliaJack · 11/01/2017 19:11

Onewiththeforce

I take my kids to school, my boss takes his kids to school, several hundred miles away

My company supports flexible working. They encourage all staff to WFH one day a week and to use that day for dentist/doctors/plumbers appointment/school meetings where necessary around your work. As long as the work gets done they don't care when. It's one way of holding onto valuable staff. It's not unusual practice. Because they are a good company they get staff like me who are prepared to work long hours, travel when needed and produce what is needed.

As for why I happily do extra hours? Lots of people do you know, I love my job and I'm very well paid for it - extra hours are just part of the deal.

OneWithTheForce · 11/01/2017 19:15

Are you on an hourly rate or salaried?

Guitargirl · 11/01/2017 19:19

Onewiththeforce - crikey, you seem a bit, um, overinvested in AmeliaJack's working practices .

OneWithTheForce · 11/01/2017 19:21

Sorry! Don't mean to be, I'm just finding how she does things a bit interesting. I down tools at 5 on the button and resent any single second I have to stay after that. But I am not paid well so I am wondering if that's the difference. If her salary is high then maybe those aren't really free hours She is giving.

Original poster

MusicalChairsOh · 11/01/2017 19:22

He had to wash his hair because he had yesterday's hair product in it which if not washed out after a night of sleeping in it it makes his hair tacky and the pomade dries up and makes it look like like he has dandruff...

OP posts:

Believeitornot · 11/01/2017 19:23

He could have washed it when he got back.

Grenoble124 · 11/01/2017 19:23

I always did a few bits when working from home. Washing, dishwasher, floors during break or lunch. I think that's fair enough. But some people can sit in a mess. I can't. DH can.

AmeliaJack · 11/01/2017 19:24

That wouldn't be any of your business now One would it?

I can reassure you that employers are very happy with my work, my working practices and my ethics.

OneWithTheForce · 11/01/2017 19:26

none of it is any if anyone's business but you were happy to post.

AmeliaJack · 11/01/2017 19:29

Ah cross post. I am a bit of a workaholic. DH too. But we make life work for us and have a good balance mostly.

BraveDancing · 11/01/2017 19:30

I don't do extra tidying/sorting etc when I work from home. I'm working. Neither does OH. She works from home full time.

I would take in a parcel, and I usually unstack the dishwasher but that's about it - it's work, not 'housework plus'. Not to mention the fact that if I'm constantly stopping work to piss around with the hoover I totally lose track of what I'm doing and the whole benefit to working from home is lost. You're meant to be focusing on the job. Just like I wouldn't stop work in the office to log on to amazon to do my Christmas shopping halfway through the afternoon, or amble outside to call my dad and check up on the gardening or something.

Work time is work time.

DeathStare · 11/01/2017 19:42

I think the objective answer is that it depends.

Just from this post you can tell that some people working from home don't stop working all day and don't have time to even get lunch.

Others have short breaks in which they can put laundry on or empty a dishwasher.

Others manage to spring clean the house (though the mind boggles how they do this AND a full day's work)

I think the answer to whether you are being unreasonable depends on whether he actually worked all day. If he genuinely worked all day (after his shower) then I think YABU. There are days when I work from home where I genuinely don't move from my desk for 6 hours. If he spent parts of the day wandering around the home or randomly surfing the net, then yes he could have used that time to do quick jobs like putting a load of washing on.

However.... I think you're putting too much emphasis on the curtains. Lots of people (me included) leave them shut when working from home.

Oh and he shouldn't be leaving laundry on the floor regardless of where he's working!

Original poster

MusicalChairsOh · 11/01/2017 19:47

Of course it could have waited until he got back home. It's stupid isn't it.

I'm really not saying people should be spending hours cleaning when they are in working hours at all, however the majority of people, and even those against housework whilst working at home , have confirmed that they actually do a little bit. Even if it is just opening the curtains...

OP posts:

toots111 · 11/01/2017 19:49

I worked from home today and didn't open the curtains. Maybe he didn't care about them being shut,

Marynary · 11/01/2017 19:59

Some people may do a bit of housework while working at home but that is because they choose to and often it means that they end up working late into the evening because of it. Not everyone wants or can work like that though and it would be unreasonable for a partner to expect them to do housework just because they are working at home rather than an office.
I sit at my desk all day and work until I have finished. When I have a break, I want/need an actual break just as I would in an office. If I didn't I wouldn't be able to work effectively.

scottishdiem · 11/01/2017 20:01

Um. I am another that works from home and would probably not open the curtains. Sorry. At the moment it probably isnt really noticable for DP as its dark in the morning and night when they leave and get back.

I sometimes do some of my chores and take the dogs for a quick walk but I have seen days where I have not been free from my phone all day. Give it a few days for him to work from home without you to see what changes. Today might have been a novelty or a busy day.

The hair thing was very odd though.

Queazy · 11/01/2017 20:08

I find this hilarious that people work from home with no time for a cup of tea or even to...open the bloody curtains!!! I work in a very busy role, sometimes work from home and though I wouldn't have time to do chores like make the beds, I'd certainly quickly tidy up after kids breakfast. I save on the commute when I work from home, and there's no office chat or distractions. Bloody hell, my boss doesn't ask me to report on my productivity to the last minute. She trusts that I work very hard, and this affords me the 4-5mins to help to tidy up like OP's DH did not if I wish. There's a choice there too.

YANBU. He didn't even open the curtains. The mind boggles.

BackforGood · 11/01/2017 23:00

BraveDancing when I work from home, it makes a lot of sense to have a 10min break at 10am to hang the washing out, so it then has 7hours of drying time before i finsh work. If i take 10mins, then i work 10 mins later after the time I might otherwise have stopped, so my employer gets the same number of minutes work out of me that day, but i have dry washing to put away not a pile of wet laundry that has been in the machine all day. I can't see how that is anything other than good time management.
Same as on another day I might peel veg and put the meal in the slow cooker so it's ready to eat before people go out to evening activities, rathr than waiting until after 'official finish time' at which point there's not enough time to make the meal before people have to go out.
Shock, horror, I have even booked a hair appt and then caught up that 90mins in the evening.

For that portion of my job that doesn't need me to be face to face with someone else, I can't see that it matters when I do it, as long as it gets done. I suspect a lot of people who work from home do that - flexitime if you like, just as people,e in some offices do.

pluck · 12/01/2017 06:15

See? I said he would get away with the hairwashing because of the curtains!

The hairwashing was the cheeky thing. Not the curtains. He deliberately did it to get out of the school run and it made you late. But he's getting away with that because of the slightly later apparent incompetence about the curtains. Distraction!

FV45 · 12/01/2017 09:16

I WFH and am just checking in to say all the curtains are drawn!

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