To feel successful?

[DaftJelly]

I don't really. But I'm sliding into depression and doing a 'count your blessings' exercise.

Reasons to feel successful/worthwhile.

I have three great kids who do well at school and have lots of friends.

I live in a beautiful house and have spent the last couple of weeks tidying it to within an inch of its life.

Dh is wonderful and we have a lovely marriage.

We have enough money for extras most of the time.

I've lost two and a half stone in the last few months.

I get out of bed every day and get all three kids to school, ds2's school run is a two mile round trip and I walk it with the dog 😇

I usually cook a decent evening meal.

I haven't had a drink since the day before NYE.

These are the things I'm focusing on today (while trying to ignore all the terrible things about me).

Anyone else? It's a really useful exercise. And this is prime depression time for a lot of people.

Love the thread DaftJelly - if you haven't already, check out the book by Matt Haig reasons to stay alive all good positive thinking stuff.

I also think mindfulness and existentialism can help a great deal x

Loving your positivity OP...

Mine:

I am surrounded by the most lovely and supportive friends

I got totally spoilt on my birthday last month. And enjoyed a lovely day.

New year with family was absolutely fantastic

My DP is loving and caring and I'm finally dropping my guard and letting him into my heart and life

DS is settled into school speaking another language like a pro, and finally seems happy after a hideous few years following separation.

I remembered to recycle my Christmas tree so it won't sit on the garden for a year like last year

My hair is really behaving today.

Well done op, I find this time of year is probably the worst for me regarding my mental health. This time last year I had a couple of months longer to wait to find out if my husbands cancer had gone (he's ok at the moment, touch wood) but it's had a huge effect on me as you can imagine. So like you, I try and flip things around a bit.

I'm thankful for the treatment he had so myself and the children still have him today. I'm terrified about what the future may bring but i can't do much about that.

Op when I was having therapy I was given a tip - find yourself a nice little notebook and every night before bed you write 10 things that you were pleased about that day, thankful for or enjoyed, that kind of thing. Actively making the time to think and note stuff down really helped me. Also it was nice to read over if I was having a bit of a fog, or for when you've forgotten what you like to do you can be reminded. Hope that makes sense.

im glad you started this thread op, I've been feeling myself sink a bit so this was very helpful to me too.

Isn't this something you do in private?!?! Solving depression really isn't about counting your blessings!!!!!! It's a serious mental health issue that needs treatment. Outwardly I am very successful, but have mental health issues. It's actually pretty offensive to suggest that I shouldn't be anxious or depressed as I'm successful. Many successful people have the same issue. Depression is irrational and can hit at anytime. Therefore if you genuinely think you are slipping into a depression get counselling, see a GP coz writing a count your blessings list on a public forum won't help you much I'm afraid.

Strongmummy, this isn't about you or intended to take anything away from you. There really is no need to shit on OPs attempts to think of things that help her feel better in herself. Is it such a stretch that what works for you and your depression may be different to what works for someone else's?

Read OP's posts again, strongmummy - all of them. No, it's not something you have to do in private, OP is receiving treatment and cognitive behavioural therapy is very much about altering your thinking patterns. It's not about saying successful people can't have mental health issues. Not at all. How dare you tell OP that writing this thread won't help. How actually dare you?

Wow some people are so unkind! I don't get the impression that you're boasting at all. Ignore those posters op. Here's mine:

• I have 2 bright and funny children
• dp has been supportive when I recently went to the doctor for my depression (a big deal for me).
• my dp works very hard to support us
• we have a nice house in a decent area, not a mansion by any means and we don't own it, but we love it
• I have a lovely extended family who I am close to
• I am now on medication which despite initial side effects seems to be making a huge difference to my well being and I finally feel 'normal'

Op I understand you I think. Because I sometimes feel the same. I also have the nice house,nice cat,healthy kids,cute dog,no money worries. And I can still feel totally down. Yesterday was one of those days.

Although I'm t total so don't have that issue and don't do many of your negatives. The key is to try your hardest to appreciate the good things in life. Everybody has bad days. And bad times. But you have to think there's always someone worse off than yourself.

DaftJelly

Amazing achievement re the drinking and I wish you all the success staying off the booze. Ignore the miserable bastards - this is a great idea for a thread. I have no issue reading your or anyone else's reasons to be positive. They tend to make me reflect on my own: win win.

Do people really need to come on and berate the OP?

You could always click back out of the thread.

What exactly are you achieving?

No more than you are achieving by repeatedly coming back and having a go at the posters you perceive to be mean

OP I think it's a lovely idea!
It's a really positive step that you've identified an imminent slump and have taken action too-really proactive
It's so difficult to do, I'm certainly not in a position to list mine even just mentally at the moment so I applaud you.
I agree - get the negative list deleted, then print off your OP and stick it up around the house as nice positive affirmation for yourself.
Wishing you well x

Anyone with any sense reading the OP can see it's not boasting/bragging so well done just and red for pissing on the OPs chips .

I think it's a great idea for a thread OP, you do sound down on yourself so thinking of the good points is really helpful. I'll have a think myself. I hope you continue on this positive path

Yikes. It takes a special kind of person to put the boot into someone else when they're at such a low ebb.

Writing down things to be grateful for is a well-accepted technique in mental self-care. Keep it up, OP. It was a great idea for a thread. Unfortunately it made some people look at themselves, and they obviously didn't like what they saw.

That's their problem, not yours.

There really are some horrible bastards on this thread, who should be ashamed of themselves. It was clear right from the start that the op was struggling and this was going to help her, but no, people had to pile in and try to bring her down. If you don't like what you're reading, hide the bloody thread.

Op, you're doing brilliantly, and I hope you're proud of yourself. Depression is a horrendous thing for anyone to go through, I struggle sometimes and when I was having counselling, one of of the things I was told to do was write things down, the counsellor called it Balloons and Anchors, and it really helps. Keep going!

Nice post Stoic, I agree it's a well accepted tool in self-care, and can be really helpful. Simple yet effective

Could I offer a suggestion for one of your negative points? You say you shout at the kids too much. Could I gently recommend reading how to talk so kids will listen. It really made such a difference to me and my family, and there's a chance it might do the same for you

Strongmummy Wed 11-Jan-17 10:53:36
"Isn't this something you do in private?!?! Solving depression really isn't about counting your blessings!!!!!! It's a serious mental health issue that needs treatment."

Exactly. And what do you think treatment looks like? It's most likely to be CBT, which is entirely about changing the way you think about things.

Which is what the OP is doing: instead of letting herself get sucked in by thoughts generated by the January slump, she is trying to focus on the fact that she has actually managed to get out of bed and performed her duties of cooking and taking care of her children.

I am watching my dd do a similar thing at this very moment: clinging onto the things she has managed, the things she has to look forward to, the things that make it worth going on. Because that is what years of treatment have taught her and that is what is keeping her alive.

Every time she leaves the house she asks "do I look pretty?" And I know that she is not asking that, she is not as shallow as all that. What she is asking is "will I be ok?", "can I cope in the world outside?", "will today be all right?" And I answer yes. Every single bloody time.

Dd uses me to bounce her fears off because she's got me and I am always there for her. The OP, for all we know, might just have MN.

I like straight-forward gratitude too ...

... for example right now I'm enjoying a lovely bowl of lentil and tomato soup, boosted with a spoonful of miso. It's delicious

And OK I did rustle it up myself from last night's left-overs, but mostly I'm just thankful to have it - and enjoying the flavours

Livia but that's like when ridiculous people say to someone sad "cheer up,there are people far worse off than you" nobody ever says "stop being so happy ,there are people far happier than you" on your theory nobody can say they have anything nice because it will upset others that don't have said nice thing/situation.

As for tiger well enormous something but not tiger . Redhelen are you tigers echo? strong really? In private? In that case there wouldn't be a forum.

Such nastiness.It tells us all about you negative nellies that we need to know. Make yourselves feel better by making spiteful comments at someone who is depressed yet trying to feel better.

Well I apologised and explained why I said it but don't let that stop you having a go....

Actually, Livia, there is no shame is sticking up for the OP under the circumstances.

If she sees there are decent people on here trying to counteract the cuntiness then I do see that as an achievement of sorts.

So, respectfully of course, you can fuck off with your grinning face. Because you might think it's hilarious that you've come on here to have a go at a woman who is trying to keep herself out of hospital but nobody with a modicum of decency will agree with you.

I'm not having a go at you Livia and I apologize if it seems that way .I'm just explaining that's what it's like. I'm definitely having a go at the named others, you weren't spiteful at all but they really were.

Well I apologised and explained why I said it but don't let that stop you having a go....

Bullshit! You basically tried to imply that you're depressed and can therefore be allowed to have a dig at the OP.

And you keep coming back and goading further...

I can tell that your apology was sincere...

Wtf is wrong with some people on mn?

You can't say a single nice thing about your life without someone accusing you of stealth boasting!