To feel sad at how quickly my dc are growing up.

[cookieswirls]

Just checked in on my dd who is 5 and couldn't believe how grown up she looks. I still see her as my baby even though I have 11 month old twins too but I think the past year she has just changed and grown up so much! When I was out earlier I saw a friend who said how much she has grown up and now I'm seeing it too. My twins are also growing rapidly and although I certainly do not want to go through the newborn stage again, looking back it did seem really lovely. I'm sad how quickly life flys by

My absolute sympathy to all bereaved posters like all who haven't lost a child it's my worst nightmare but it's your reality.

Please keep posting and threading about your experiences to help us understand your realities and experiences.

However regarding this thread I agree with Brie it's a parenting forum and any aspect of parenting is valid for posting.

it's a parenting forum and any aspect of parenting is valid for posting.

Including the aspect of being a bereaved parent and how that impacts us.

Just wait until they have children of their own, it doesn't seem 5 minutes ago I was changing their nappies and now my grandsons are toilet trained (apart from the 2 week old)

OP, your last few posts are horrible.

'Until a certain poster got involved'? What, you mean one who lost a child and just wanted you to understand how hurtful this thread could be? Telling her she goes about things the wrong way and you feel sorry for her? Asking her what she gets from posting in threads like this? Seriously, you aren't coming across well in those replies.

Many different things are hard for people to read. I find it difficult to read threads where people moan about looking a bit older, because my kids dad would loved to have been able to look older. We all moan about the small things that we are actually lucky we get to experience, it is human nature.

I remember wanting to poke my friend in the eye when she moaned her child spoke too much, I just wanted my child to be able to speak. He doesn't shut up now he is 17 and I get her frustration, but at the time it hurt.

I don't think you did anything wrong in starting the thread but your replies come across as very cold, and I don't think you probably mean them to.

I'm really shocked at some of you who have jumped on OP and her post which was really obviously not written or meant in the way you are twisting it to sound.

I have lost a child, at just 3 days old and now 7 years later I have 9mo twins and everyday I think it would be great to stop time and have them as they are forever, little, chubby, dribbley little monkeys. I hate that they are growing up so quickly but am so grateful at how happy they are and love watching them growing and learning new things.

I'm so sorry for some of the things which have been posted to you OP.

I also think the OP is getting a hard time here. It was very clear from her first post that she was wistful about time passing so quickly. Every one of us is guilty about not counting our blessings at times.

I buried my fantastic MIL yesterday, I can't believe 3 weeks have already gone since she died. Does that mean everyone should stop complaining their MILs are horrible? Of course not! Does them having horrible MIL mean they have no sympathy for me? Of course not

I'm grateful every day for my children after 15 years of ttc, I hated everyone who moaned about their children when I couldn't have any but I didn't tell them not to do it. And when I had my own children I moaned to at times because, after all, we are all human!

We all have our own cross to bear and struggles in life and we can not expect everyone else to feel the same as us.

We all have our own cross to bear And none greater than losing a child.

That dexra goes without saying, but it still doesn't mean others can't vocalise about their own feelings about everything else however small or ungrateful that appears to someone else. Nor does it mean that because they are moaning about something trivial they don't have empathy or sympathy with others

No it doesn't navy but perspective is subjective unfortunately, but you already know that.

I'm pretty sure though that not one person on this thread, despite having got into snippy wars as these threads are apt to do, would want to walk a cm in your shoes let alone a mile.

Mine are in their 30s and 40s - where did that time go? - gone in a flash. I always tell my children to savour every moment of their own children.

I have to admit, I read the OP with my heart in my mouth. I haven't lost a child, but automatically read the thread imagining the feelings of someone who had.

I sometimes feel like my DC are growing and changing almost at a daily rate (well, they are, but it's almost tangible it's happening so fast). I do get it.

All I think those who've lost a child are saying, is that what is a 'sad' thing can quite easily be turned around and viewed as the most amazing, best gift in the world. It's not in the least bit sad, at all.

Haven't read the full thread but OP one of your early comments about being your DD'S only friend to now watching her become all independent has me all teary eyed on my journey home. Really hit a nerve for me. I feel exactly the same about my 4yo. She's at preschool and talks about all the things she does at school and its all without me. I'm so so proud of both my girls (2yo and 4yo). Like others have said I try to enjoy them growing up and not feel too sad but sometimes that's easier said than done.

Some people did take notice, Navy.

I think these threads are a helpful reminder of how lucky some of us are, sometimes.

Just caught up. So sorry to those that have lost a dear child

Thank you thedowager for eloquently putting what we have been trying to say.

Oh YANBU I think the same of my ds (4) and my dd (18 months) my ds goes to school in august

min - you said it far better than I did, which makes some of the responses you got back seem all the more incredible.