To feel sad at how quickly my dc are growing up.

[cookieswirls]

Just checked in on my dd who is 5 and couldn't believe how grown up she looks. I still see her as my baby even though I have 11 month old twins too but I think the past year she has just changed and grown up so much! When I was out earlier I saw a friend who said how much she has grown up and now I'm seeing it too. My twins are also growing rapidly and although I certainly do not want to go through the newborn stage again, looking back it did seem really lovely. I'm sad how quickly life flys by

op remember you posted this in aibu. It's known for getting harsh responses, so don't be suprised by the reactions.

"Just as the op is entitled to say she feels sad that her babies are growing we bereaved parents are just as entitled to say what a silly sentiment it really is in the harsh reality of some people's lives.

On any thread there are differing opinions just as there are on this thread."

I'm not even sure they are different "opinions" they are just different feelings, different sensations, different experiences, each valid in their own very different ways.

This isn't a 'silly' sentiment and is actually quite rude of you to say so.

I was just jumping in to say how I love watching my children grow up into their teen years and have never felt sad that theh are not littlies anymore. But I then thought that actually this opposite thought to the OP could ALSO offend bereaved parents. I could list many "I love seeing them do this, that or the other" things but I imagine a bereaved person could feel terribly upset that their child never got to experience any of those things.

So it is very difficult for us non-bereaved parents to know what to write on these sorts of threads, because ANY reference to growing up from any angle is going to be very sad to bereaved parents. But I still don't think that they shouldn't be spoken about.

On another note, my parents and aunties often used to go on to us as teenagers about how cute and lovely we were as kids. To be honest, as a spotty, boob less, excruciatingly shy teenager with bad hair it didn't do much for my self-esteem. I honestly assumed that they preferred the toddler me to the awkward young woman I was growing into.

So all you parents who get nostalgic about the baby and toddler years, please be mindful not to bang on about it too much to your growing kids, who want to be loved and appreciated for what they are NOW.

cookie it is. I sometimes feel similar and then remember what the horrible reality would be if dd didn't grow up. I'd rather the time just flew by than if it didn't at all.

Ok guys as this thread has upset so many of you in going to get it deleted

don't please.

nothing in it reflects badly on anyone. it's a discussion we ought to have more, not less.

"So all you parents who get nostalgic about the baby and toddler years, please be mindful not to bang on about it too much to your growing kids, who want to be loved and appreciated for what they are NOW."

I hadn't thought of that. I may be guilty of that.

I have been made to feel I have deeply offended certain people on here and that was by no means my intention.

Navy you go about things the wrong way. I feel very sorry for you

leave it up please OP.

I know you must feel like you walked into an unexpected confrontation when all you wanted was to share some normal feelings but I for one feel I've learnt something from it.x

I don't blame you. I read it that you were being accused of insensitivity and smugness too. I think some of what has been levelled at you is really quite mean. You won't win

op nobody is saying you made this thread to upset anyone, we're trying to get you to understand how something so innocent to you can cause a lot of grief and pain for someone else.

I'm sorry guys maybe someone can set up another thread where the wording isn't so offensive

come on people.....

one person shares a gentle wistful sentimental thought, it turns into something rather serious, she feels accused.... it happens, let's be nice x

worst possible scenario is bereaved parents being shooed off threads

you go about things the wrong way. I feel very sorry for you
Leave the thread OP. It may give some people some insight and encourage them to count their blessings.

Throwing your toys out of the pram and asking for this thread to be deleted is very childish.

Navy you are completely out of order for saying that to the OP after all your previous posts.

Ian's there I was trying to explain things in a nice way cookies

But you have called me rude? To suggest that your sentiment is 'silly'? Really? Was I really harsh?

My child died. So to me your sentiment is 'silly'. Not stupid, not arrogant, not smug, nor any other word that could be used. Just 'silly'.

And where was that empathy of which I spoke? I was not rude. Far from it.

Did you actually read my post?

And there I was ... it should have read.

Don't delete the thread because it is not going your way.

We all have a right to express ourselves.

cookie,

it's not that you are offensive in any way.

I'm not deleting it because it hasn't gone my way! I want it deleted because it's upsetting parents who have lost children. This began a nice thread until a certain poster got involved

and by the way people, cookie may not have lost a child but we have no way of knowing what other losses and griefs she may have known or may know in the future so let's back off.