AIBU to have a 3rd baby against DH's wishes

[Babysuprise]

DH and I have two lovely children - while I have always wanted more, DH only really wanted one so two was a compromise.

We have had quite heated discussions about having a third and he has always been clear he doesn't want another one.

However, I have just found out I am pregnant. I'm pretty pleased about it as I had resigned myself to just having two, but I know DH will be devastated. I haven't told him yet. AIBU to have this baby anyway?

Op your responses are really odd. You haven't engaged at all with what your usual method of contraception is despite lots and lots of people asking.

But her husband should have taken contraceptive precautions

Surely if you use condoms he'd have known there were none left or reached fir one?

Why was this situation so different as surely you'd have loads of kids if nothing was being used at all ever.
What was different about Xmas eve that lead to this?

Oh and welcome to Mumsnet, OP.

Good point Puntastic

Reported thread.

It's not an accident if you had unprotected sex though is it? That's how you get pregnant!

Ok whilst I know on the odd occasion this truely does happen the chances of you getting pregnant from one incidence of unprotected sex are tiny, so do you usually use protection? If not then yanbu. He must know you'd get pregnant eventually.

He's knowingly had unprotected sex with you in the knowledge you really wanted a baby, if he was certain that he didn't another child then he shouldn't have unprotected sex, unprotected sex = possibility of baby.

He shouldn't pressure you terminate, his choice about how many children you have was made when he knowingly had unprotected sex. He doesn't really get a say after that.

I think it a bit cruel of him to have unprotected sex with you when he knows you want a baby. It's kind of giving you hope that he's changed his mind or that he's not adamant on not having a third, since he'd have abstained if no contraceptives was available.

The OP could have name changed...

This is a bit confusing to be honest.
He doesn't want any more children but you had unprotected sex.
What contraception do you normally use? Why did you not use it this time?

What our first two children were both planned.

I did know pretty quickly, for the last week I have felt pregnant (very sore boobs).

Something doesn't ring true here. Unless you were both drunk you knew you were taking risks. I'm not convinced it was an accident either.

Unprotected sex - his own issue. He is over the age of consent and surely understands this can result in pregnancy.

Why do people say welcome to mumsnet?

How do you know if someone has posted before or not?

Sorry to hijack and why does it matter if this is their first post?

You both need to sort out contraception. Otherwise there will be baby number 4, then number 5 and so on..

Several posters have asked what your usual contraception is OP?

I think he'll be thrilled when you tell him, after all he was there at the conception without using protection. He's a grown up he must have realised there was a possibility.

Congratulations, enjoy your pregnancy and your third child. I have three and the third one wasn't planned but DH was thrilled and loves him to pieces.

You still haven't answered the numerous posts about your usual contraception method?

I feel sorry for your husband. You knew you should have had the morning after pill but you decided against it also going against his desire to have anymore children. No man or woman should be tricked into having children against their wishes. You do realise you risk losing him?

I think OP knows her husband is too stupid to insist on contraception so they've been having
Unprotected sex for years probably, with her wishing for this "accident" each time

So TTC basically

I think the biggest question is whether or not your DH knew it was unprotected sex.

I think in a marriage it is reasonable to assume your wife would not lead you to believe she was taking contraceptive measure when that was not the case

Sorry OP but I don't see that as an accident AT ALL. I think you've engineered the situation. Now you've got what you want you can feel happy. Feel sorry for your DH to be honest.

How 'accidental'? Poor man is being railroaded into something he didn't want YABU

Pretty sure the OP's husband will be sorting out contraception by divorcing her PickledCauliflower

Yes he's clearly an idiot for having sex without contraception, but she's underhanded and inconsiderate of the family she already has.

If this is true, the OP could have taken the MAP but couldn't be fucked. Makes her worse than him in my opinion.

So you knew that neither of you were using any contraception. You knew that you could get the MAP and decided not to.

Did he know that you were not using any contraception? Did he know about the MAP pill?

Your body, your choice. That is not an issue. According to you, you have not really considered termination and everyone here has said what you already know. So what is your AIBU?

I think that you also have a responsibility towards your other children however it is done now so it is a case of dealing with the consequences.

There are a few really shocking responses on this thread. For avoidance of doubt, the OP isn't responsible for informing her husband about her fertile window or whether she would be willing to take measures after the event. He is a grown bloody man. If he doesn't wasn't a third child, he should put something on the end of it or discuss contraceptive measures responsibly with his wife.

I guess their usual method of contraception is 'pull out and pray' or the hilarious 'natural family planning method' due to the op's reticence when it comes to divulging any facts....