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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say no to courier.

433 replies

anannoyinglylongusername · 08/01/2017 16:21

Amazon courier just asked to use the loo. I was alone in the house with a baby. I said no and immediately dropped a note to Amazon to say I wasn't impressed that it made me feel uncomfortable.

I feel a bit bad now...remind me that I did the right thing please?!

OP posts:
Boundaries · 08/01/2017 16:45

If the gu

pinkblink · 08/01/2017 16:45

As his employer you would try and advise him how to better manage his bladder Hmm

I'd have let him go but I don't think I'm uptight when it comes to things like that

ShatnersBassoon · 08/01/2017 16:45

Hopefully whoever picks up your complaint at Amazon quickly shows it to their colleagues for a laugh before 'filing it' without passing it up the chain.

Dieu · 08/01/2017 16:45

A very precious overreaction. Why did you complain?? I hope he hasn't lost his job just after Christmas Sad.

Boundaries · 08/01/2017 16:46

Oops...

Bluntness100 · 08/01/2017 16:46

Yes, these guys basically have very little rights, and get let go for the littlest things, you have probably had him fired.

I hope uou really do feel shit. He may have a family to feed. He may have been desperate and under a lot of time pressure and not easy to find a loo on route. They get paid a pittance for each delivery, The fact you were so uncomfortable is more about you than him. He probably wouldn't normally ask but if you're desperate you're desperate.

Most of us would have either let him use it or just said no, without the dramatics.

Reality16 · 08/01/2017 16:47

I think that's was really awful of you to complain about him. I did courier work for a few months about 6/7 years back and the pressure to get things delivered is immense, the last thing you want to have to do is go 'off track' to find a loo. The guy probably thought nothing of it. I don't see what position you think you were put in anyway? He asked, you said no, he said ok. That should have been the end of it. A complaint was really spiteful.

I would have no problem letting someone in to use the loo like that. Alone or not. I mean if he wants to kill me what the hell benefit is to me if DH is here? He would just kill him too. Also if he wanted to kill me he didn't have to ask to use the loo, he child have just barged in? But back in the real world I think the worst danger you were in there would be if he did a number 2 instead of a number 1 FFS.

mambono5 · 08/01/2017 16:47

It's perfectly fine to refuse, I feel a lot more vulnerable when I have young children at home than when I am alone, so I completely understand.

However, complaining and thinking it is inappropriate to ASK? That is awful. What's inappropriate about asking you a question? I feel sorry for the poor guy, you are mean.

DailyFail1 · 08/01/2017 16:47

Amazon don't employ their couriers they contract them and the contract can be ended at any time - usually just takes a single complaint. I can understand saying no, I probably would have done the same if put on the spot, but why on earth did you complain to Amazon for him asking to use the loo? Angry

Daisyfrumps · 08/01/2017 16:48

most couriers are self employed and easily disposable. they earn a pittance and have little time for loo breaks.

on the other hand my friend was raped by a plumber in her home, though I imagine this is pretty rare. But you shouldn't feel obliged to let him use your loo if you don't feel comfortable.

But then we're rural and couriers probably stop for a quick wee in the hedge!

BoomBoomsCousin · 08/01/2017 16:48

I would probably have let him in, but I don't have a baby and we have a downstairs loo. It's fine to have said no. I think complaining about someone asking (I presume politely) and then happily leaving when you said no is quite unreasonable.

Floggingmolly · 08/01/2017 16:48

Why did you report him?? Very, very OTT and dramatic, ffs! You said no; he said ok... Get a bloody grip Hmm

SoupDragon · 08/01/2017 16:49

Not unreasonable not to let himinbut it was extraordinarily spiteful to complain to Amazon.

He didn't do anything, he just asked and left when you said no.

Dieu · 08/01/2017 16:49

And typically, we haven't heard back from the OP ...

user1478860582 · 08/01/2017 16:49

How better to manage his bladder?? What the hell? So the poor bugger shouldn't be allowed a drink all day in case he needs a wee?

What a sad world we live in where somebody may get in trouble just because he needed a wee and politely asked someone for the use of their toilet.

MoonshineJungle · 08/01/2017 16:49

I probably would have said yes, my bathroom is right by my front door so no wandering around

ThymeLord · 08/01/2017 16:50

Why isn't it "appropriate" for him to ask? That word gets thrown around all the time on here yet hardly ever fits the situation. He needed a loo and asked you. End of. To complain is just awful, imagine being fired for needing to pee. Poor man.

flumpybear · 08/01/2017 16:50

I'd just say sorry my husband is in the bath - job jobbed

Original poster
anannoyinglylongusername · 08/01/2017 16:50

I included in my email to Amazon in the first instance that he had asked politely and made no issue of the refusal - I only gave the facts and made no exaggeration.

God I really had no idea that they were such poor employers and certainly would never consider that they would dismiss someone when a simple bit of guidance would suffice

OP posts:
Boundaries · 08/01/2017 16:50

There are plenty of well documented scams where people trick their way into houses - then potentially stealing or whatever.

Chances are he was just desperate for a wee, but sensible to not let him in.
And I think sensible to report - on the offchance he is less than honest.

AliceInUnderpants · 08/01/2017 16:50

Saying no is absolutely acceptable. But complaining to Amazon was uncalled for. If he'd been pushy or rude about the no, then a complaint would have been appropriate. Asking the question wasn't wrong

This.
Though I'd have let him use the toilet.

XiCi · 08/01/2017 16:51

Oh come on OP. You must have known that telling his employer that he made you feel uncomfortable would lead to some disciplinary action. I really hope whoever gets your email just ignores it. He did nothing wrong. He asked a question and accepted your answer. Amazon are notoriously ruthless as far as staff turnover is concerned

JacquesHammer · 08/01/2017 16:51

HWNBU to ask
YWNBU to refuse

However YABmassivelyU to have actually complained about a polite request that when you said no, he left? How vindictive and unkind

Mrsglitterfairy · 08/01/2017 16:51

I would have let him, but then my loo is downstairs by the front door.
Also, you knew who he worked for, do you think he would have really done something untoward? However, I do see why you were being cautious but you WBU to email his employer

TheTrollinator · 08/01/2017 16:52

Bluntness. You are indeed very 'blunt'. Hmm

I would have let him use the loo but its fine to say no if you didn't want him to. I think it was harsh to report him to Amazon. He only asked Confused