To ask how not to be frumpy

[Moomoomango]

I feel like total mum frump. I'm overweight (working on it) I rarely put on make up and I generally feel like a frump. I'm only 29, two children 5&1. Please tell me how mums at soft play look so put together and gorgeous- whilst I am just straggling along delighted we've made it out the house? What simple routines / things should I do / buy to look less frumpy?!

Thanks dailyfail.
I had suspected my mum boots for a while after the horror of moving to skinnies following a previous thread when more overweight than ever before.

I'm glad someone has said being overweight doesn't make you frumpy. There are plenty of larger women who carry extra weight and do not look frumpy. As with any weight or size the key is to wearing clothes that fit properly, don't ride up in all the wrong places and hair and make up has huge part to play too.

daisy not frumpy at all. In fashion too. The person who made that comment clearly has no idea how to shop for a tunic lol

Phew!

Gok Wans how to look good naked book is great for figuring out what shape you are and how to dress for that shape.

germaine try straight leg jeans though. I find them more flattering with my fat legs (am pear shaped lol) and you get more options in the shoe department too. Gap's authentic straights are great.

I read on here never to wear more than 3 colours at a time. I think it really works.

Woops! Ignore most of last sentence!

When my kids were young i used mail order a lot. I know Boden is over done, but they do use v flattering colours, and if you Just use one or two pieces you can still look individual. Try them on at home when the kids are finally in bed.
Same with Avon, never thought id do it, but when going to the shops is a chore....

No clumpy giant heels or ballet flats. Both produce the model waddle which is really ugly. No ghastly florals. Clothes that fit. No cleavage - bum, chest, toes - put it away.

Clean tidy hair. Makeup or not as you wish. A smile not a fish pout.

Thanks dailyfail. I'm going to order some and try this out!

I love my fleece jackets, they are warm and fitted. I wear them with skinnies and trainers (superstars today) I have hair cut in a shortish, layered style NOT A BOB as my hairdresser insists I must never have a bob, he says they are frumpy at 50. Roots done (myself), clean teeth, good moisturiser and I do definitely look better with make up now. Primer, tiny bit if foundation, brown mascara (after years of black), grey eye pencil, a scribble of bronzer and some tinted lip balm.

Do some online quizzes to get an idea of what your fashion style is - they're quite fun.

I don't agree with lose weight unless you want to of course. I speak from experience you don't have to be a size 4 to look stylish.
Nails painted
Hair brushed/styled
Make up.
Minimal jewellery.
Polished shoes/boots.

I propose that you find a specific look that works for you, and then look to replicate it in various ways. This stops you having to think to much in the morning, and also builds your own personal brand that you can feel recognised for.

For example, my specific look is skinny J Brand jeans (after much testing they do my quite sticky outey bum the most favours), close fitting white t-shirt, then a very well cut single-breasted black blazer (the cut of this matters), long thin necklace, loopy soft scarf wrapped a few times in a colour that suits me. Shoes depend on what I am doing that day: Nike white trainers for hanging out with toddler (or being pregnant and enormous like now), heeled ankle boots (Isabel Marant ankle boots is the look I go for - can be done far cheaper), or proper high heeled shoes for a full day of meetings.

This works for me and is surprisingly low in effort. I would add that a good blow dry and manicure makes me feel the best though....crap nails makes me feel frumpy - but maybe that is just me.

. I speak from experience you don't have to be a size 4 to look stylish.

I am older - rather than a young mother. But I have a different answer.

I tend to wear either vintage clothes or ultra plain jeans and T shirts or a mixture of the two. I don't wear make up. My hair is long and very rarely cut.

I don't think I look frumpy. I look vaguely eccentric and also as if I don't give a damn. Which is a look I am quite comfortable with.

I suppose the problem occurs if you do give a damn.

totally agree with december
i have my colours done about 10years ago and wow what a difference it made - i did not suit black it drains and ages me! chucked out lots of tat and all the advice given was great and made shopping for clothes and make up so much easier and quicker yep it wasnt cheap at the time think£120 but best money spent
once you have been advised what colours work for you makes a massive difference
you could try personal shopper dont have to buy everything they chose but they do all the work for you - found debenhams helpful
help this helps good luck x

I can't comment on clothing because I have never worn a dress in my life and I live in leggings/ oversized jumpers and cardigans with looseish fitting long sleeved tshirts underneath to cover up any lumps and bumps. All in black and grey but I feel comfortable and not stylish but not frumpy in them. Otherwise though I get myself sorted in the evening when dd is in bed. I shower and wash hair and blow dry it, fake tan once a week and do my face every other day. Then I find I can just get up in the morning and wash my face, eyeliner and mascara and perhaps a bit of nude lipgloss with a hint of sparkle and I'm good to go. 10 mins tops and I don't feel washed out or have to faff with tinted moisturiser or foundation.

Boot cut jeans, it's not the 90's

Sadly the slim fit don't fit me because I run and have massive calves! I didn't know they made me look frumpy. Oh well. Better frumpy and fit than the opposite. What's wrong with long boots - I see lots of attractive women wearing them? Mind you, I can't fit my calves into those either!

The eyebrows are a big thing. I never realised until someone told me when doing a make-up demo at a department store counter that mine looked terrible! She didn't tell me they looked terrible, she just said I might want to get them threaded. So I did. And then I started looking at everyone else's brows, realised the vast majority of women had them perfectly groomed and those who didn't looked a bit untidy.

Hair cut every 6-8 weeks. Some people may be able to leave it a bit longer but if you get your hair cut regularly it looks tidy and groomed.

Because I work from home I do live in jeans and a hoodie and I wear my work tops for years because they don't get much use. I suspect the shapes are a little out of fashion but to be honest I find the current clothes in the shops so shapeless and/or making me look pregnant I'd rather look like it's still 2005! For example, I used to buy loads of things in Phase Eight for work (in the sales) but no longer. And Next has been rubbish for a long time, yet I used to live in their tops and suits when I had to wear a suit for work.

I always wear makeup and have nice hair (lucky to have easy hair) but I find winter so hard not to be frumpy. I have a nice winter coat and nice boots but still feel frumpy. I think my jeans and old bra are letting me down at the moment. Definitely prefer dressing in spring/summer, skinny jeans, nice tshirt and sandals, so easy, maybe a light jacket, I never look frumpy in warmer months!

Put hair in a ponytail, and wrap small sections -maybe 6- round a cheap hair wand. Take it out and shake it a bit and you have fab hair that looks effortlessly done for 2 days. Then put it back in a ponytail for two days and you have a swooshy ponytail that also looks done. A tiny bit of effort that pays off for days.

One of the most important things, in my opinion, for not looking frumpy is posture and confidence. You could be wearing the most fashionable clothes in the world but if you're shoulders are hunched up, your chin is down and your eyes are darting around trying not to make eye contact with anyone then you will look frumpy.

I don't think it's anything to do with actual clothes. It's posture, confidence and wearing what suits you. I've seen plenty of stylish people in jeans with a slight flare. Neat hair helps as well.

x-post with Semi

Boot cut and straight jeans are coming back into fashion and skinnies are going out, though (or so social media is telling me).