To ask how not to be frumpy

[Moomoomango]

I feel like total mum frump. I'm overweight (working on it) I rarely put on make up and I generally feel like a frump. I'm only 29, two children 5&1. Please tell me how mums at soft play look so put together and gorgeous- whilst I am just straggling along delighted we've made it out the house? What simple routines / things should I do / buy to look less frumpy?!

Tunics and leggings can look fantastic if the tunic is shaped (think well fitted kurti/kaftan) and you pair with heels or smart boots and nice accessories.
That fashion possibly looked fantastic about 5 years ago but looks so outdated now. People who carry on that style look like they have been stuck in a time warp.

What Alexa is wearing is not suitable for a certain type of office environment. I would have thought that was obvious. She, however, moves in a more creative zone - the world of high fashion and the glossies - where she is able to dress in a more interesting and imaginative way. I imagine the full "power dresser" would go down a storm in the offices of Vogue - unless the suit etc were being being worn in an ironic manner. Lol

Agreed Whathaveilost.

Good grief. I was at soft play yesterday wearing tracky bottoms and a T-shirt, ponytail, and no make up. There was one other mum dressed like me and a whole gang of mums who were totally made-up, stylishly dressed, long painted nails etc.

Me and frumpy-mum-2 had a fab time chasing our kids around and couldn't help but find it pretty funny that one of the glam mums had to send her mate in the fetch her kid out because her jeans were too tight to allow her to climb.

My advice is to find your tribe and embrace it. Sure I could ape being a glam mum...I could invest on the things glam mums care about, spend time and money on clothes and makeup etc., but why would I? I don't have anything in common with them, I don't care about the same things they care about. I won't ever be a part of their tribe so why bother pretending?

"Me and frumpy-mum-2 had a fab time chasing our kids around and couldn't help but find it pretty funny that one of the glam mums had to send her mate in the fetch her kid out because her jeans were too tight to allow her to climb."
Haha!! I think you might have had more fun.

layer

I suspect we work in rather similar office environments.

Yes, Cara, of course. I just think that very few people on this thread work in that kind of environment. And if they do they certainly wouldn't need any advice on frumpiness, I suspect ;)
my mother, for example works in that kind of environment. And she probably wouldn't wear any of the outifts I've seen suggested here. But I love shopping with her. She just has the eye for cuts and fabrics and knows what would suit what body, would be appropriate for where etc. (Unlike me )

As for the whole leggigns/tunic thing...
I've never really understood tunics, tbh.
It either hides a figure you wouldn't necessarily want to hide. Or is unflattering for certain so called 'problem areas' because there isn't a whole lot of cut/shape.

And yes. I'm 1horatio.

I had that name for ages and wanted to change it. Just... to prevent confusion ;)

Why have you changed your name? Are you permitted to have two names here?

I don't look at the names, much, tbh. I think it is useful, however, to have a simple, more memorable name.

I just went to my profile and changed my username.
I think I am allowed? If I wasn't, why would they have that option?

I don't have two usernames. My Accountname and everything was changed. 1horatio doesn't 'exist' anymore, if that makes sense. Was replaced by Clary.

And I changed my username because on an other thread a User advanced searched an other one and brought up comments she made about her life and children etc to discredit her opinion (and say some really hurtful stuff.)

I posted previously on an education site and changing username was only done after consultation with the site moderators. It was a big deal. Not many users resorted to that unless there was a "backstory" as they say here.

Huh. Well, I just went to my profile and changed it. If they didn't want that then that option wouldn't exist, would it?

There was actually a thread about this stuff a few days ago where somebody says she changes here username every week or so,

I think it's fine as long as you don't try to trick people by pretending to be 2 different people on the same thread or arguing with yourself or something?

Cool. Different place and a different set of rules.

If you keep your original name though, people can get used to you or recognise you, as it were. But whatever. I am relatively new but there are a few people whose names I am already familiar with.

Same. I'm familiar with yours, for example ;)!

I went through a phase of being a frump and it does help what you put inside your body.
What helped me personally is I have a green/fruit shake every morning with maca root powder and chia seeds, both these things do help with mood although maca can make you put on weight if you are not working out.

Also I take MSM vitamins, evening primrose, Vitamin B drink and collagen vitamins these all help with mood and giving you more energy.

Obviously im sure you know the gym is great as well but I know that takes a lot to have the energy to go when you are feeling down, I been there.

As others have said new clothes and new hair style also help and can almost make you feel like a new person but I do think you need to work on the inside first.

If we're talking about smoothies...

A green matcha smoothie with a lot of vitamins and fibre is great, imo? :)

My personal opinion (probably not very popular on mumsnet) is that it's much easier to look good/chic/interesting when you are slim. Almost anything looks good on a slim frame.

wiggle and high cheekbones really help too. I personally am an ugly specimen with no cheekbones, orange hair and a pink puffy face. I always have been and I always will be. I don't know if I am lucky that my tribe (scientists) tend to view glamorous women with an unwarranted level of suspicion and occupy the Sci-fi slogan T-shirt wearing end of the spectrum at the best of times, or if I somehow gravitated to a profession where my lack of looks and disregard for fashion wouldn't hold me back....

"WiggleYourWoo

My personal opinion (probably not very popular on mumsnet) is that it's much easier to look good/chic/interesting when you are slim. Almost anything looks good on a slim frame."

Whether it is popular or not, it is true.

I think that's probably true. I honestly never really thought about it?

but tailoring can do a lot. I usually need my clothes to be taken in at the waist or else I end up looking manly/boyish. So, yeah. I do think you can be stylish at nearly every size. You just need tailoring and clothes that suit your body frame.

If you are short of cash try local colleges which do hairdesing course and beauty therapy Ours does facials for £12.Not sure what they charge for hair It can take a while but the students are supervised the whole time.I've had some really good cuts done by trainees.Less scary than modelling for a salon

Someone I used to work with looks as fabulous at 50 as she did at 15.Tall and slim (she works at it)she'd look good in a bin bag .It may not be essential to be slim to avoid frumpiness but it sure as hell makes it easier. I am not (any longer)a young mum but I have recently lost 20lbs and it has given me the confidence get out of the jeans and jumper uniform i've worn ever since I retired and experiment a bit -even ankle boots (I have three pairs I never wore )with dresses.I have had a lot of compliments .I was 'inspired'by a friend my own age ,much slimmer ,who always looks fabulous and usually wears a dress ,opaque tights and boots.
I don't think I looked frumpy at work-expensive well cut suits helped-but'smart casual' (hideous term)is much harder to get right .