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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think this is really bloody cheeky?

188 replies

buckyou · 08/01/2017 08:26

We got in laws national trust membership for Christmas last year. This year the rest of the fam didn't do adult presents as we've lots of babies on the scene all of a sudden but MIL still wanted to. Fine.

So we got them something else this year, costing £180. Now MIL is demanding that we pay their NT membership again for them which is over £100! You know, joking, but not really joking.

They are minted and very generous at Christmas but it's mainly shit we don't need / want. I'd really rather not bother! We are not poor but have a baby on the way and could do without paying for someone else's national trust membership!

Would you pay it or accidentally forget?? I just think it's so cheeky!

OP posts:

Daydream007 · 09/01/2017 22:26

Don't pay it. How cheeky!

YippieKayakOtherBuckets · 09/01/2017 22:29

user are you the OP?

rockcake · 09/01/2017 23:03

Haven't RTWFT but although I agree OP' mil is a cheeky witch, isn't it annoying when people give you subscriptions for a limited time that you subsequently have to pay for .... assuming you haven't asked for it in the first place? I think so.

Grumpybeforemytime · 09/01/2017 23:43

To be honest you have been more than generous already- £180 is a very decent amount to have spent! X

AstridLevinson · 10/01/2017 00:03

Choli and others re Hunters, really? Not pleased, mine are over 15 years old and will need replacing at some point. Stuck between mud buster and Storm stopper- boots mainly used for walking dog, down lanes etc to pub/shop and need arises to jump into mud/ditch at side of road. And another country sider with Barbour jacket also!

YippieKayakOtherBuckets · 10/01/2017 08:49

Sorry Astrid, yes. We bought a pair for MIL at her request a few Christmases ago and they split within a few months of moderate use (gardening and a bit of walking).

Le Chameau, Aigle and Ariat all apparently excellent but £££. Muckbooks very comfy and warm but not the prettiest things. I'm actually a big fan of Decathlon's Solognac boots. I don't even need socks with the neoprene lined ones, they are so warm.

chloesmumtoo · 10/01/2017 10:33

I really can't see that she meant for you to spend out on a membership now surely. Would be odd, especially when you said she was jokey. I strongly think it was just to let you know how much they loved it. To be honest it would save you money in future as you paid over the joint 12 mth membership which only costs £105 compared to £180. Could be why she has said it. I would tell her you'll do it for them next year If you don't like their presents to you then you can drop some hints near the time, it only takes some communication. National trust do gift cards that can be used towards memberships so can be tailored to what amounts you want to spend in future. I really don't see why it should be such a big deal. Or gift cards could be done for birthdays along the lines of what someone else said?

Jaxhog · 10/01/2017 11:22

How rude. Actually, it's a bloody cheek. If you renew their's, can you renew mine as well?

user1467811360 · 10/01/2017 12:17

It sounds like she'd rather have the NT but not really asking for it - don't worry and just say, like someone else suggested, that you'll get it for them next year again.

My MIL asks for NT membership every year and I think it's a lovely gift if you have everything you need (which baby boomers seem to have).

I think it's tricky when kids are little and you have babies - life is so expensive - and you sound like you're more upset because of the context than you might be if you weren't anticipating all the expenses of a new baby? But it's not worth getting upset about - I'm sure she'd be mortified if she thought you she'd put you in an awkward position. Older ladies (I include myself) find it difficult to hold their tongues...

user1471462209 · 10/01/2017 12:23

I'm op btw not sure why it's changed my name. Didn't mean for it to be a big deal but seems to have turned into one on here!

On the welly front, I personally prefer country boots (i.e. Leather wellies). Dubarry are the posh ones of these but I can't afford them so have Toggi quibec I think they are called. I think they are a bit more stylish / warm / comfy at least than more modestly priced wellies. They are a bit girly though (I think) hence the Ariat's for OH.

Hunters are a bit crap now and have got really really expensive since people started wearing them to festivals!

newshiny · 10/01/2017 14:00

Ask her if that's what she wants in future years for her xmas pressie. I always fnd it hard to know what gifts to get for people, so if that's something they like and appreciate, then that's you got less thiking to do for future years gifts for them.

But this year, you got them an alternative gift and should not need to fork out for more.

theonewiththenoisychild · 15/01/2017 11:16

If you have brought her a present this year AND you get the NT membership again on top next year she might expect the same. So you could end up paying for NT membership for life plus another gift on top every year.... its crazy. I would tell her that she has had a present this year but if thats what she would like in future then you will be happy to get her that next year and every year aftwr if thats what she wants. So cheeky

AwaywiththePixies27 · 15/01/2017 11:24

YNBU. Very cheeky.

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