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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

**Trigger Warning** Why has she stood by him?

105 replies

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 07/01/2017 22:10

www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/dad-who-fancies-little-girls-9581445

AIBU too find this lady utterly crazy, and words fail me on how to describe him.

OP posts:
BIgBagofJelly · 07/01/2017 22:14

I could never be in a relationship with someone who had those feelings but I do feel sorry for anyone who is attracted to children (as long as they don't act on it of course), you'd basically have ti live like a hermit and isolate yourself from most of life. I do think there should be more opportunities for those people to seek help (without risk of being found out and subject to a which hunt) as it would presumably in some cases prevent children being abused.

DaftJelly · 07/01/2017 22:17

I actually have a fair bit of sympathy for genuinely non offending paedophiles.

But I don't believe for a second this guy has never raped a child. 'False memories'?? And that he's done some things he shouldn't have? Urgh.

Celaena · 07/01/2017 22:19

"However, he explains that one of the kids developed "false memories" about him allegedly "putting his penis" inside her."

i dont even have words

dollydaydream114 · 07/01/2017 22:19

I would feel more sorry for him if he didn't admit that he 'had done things he shouldn't'. He says he's never 'penetrated' a child but he clearly has molested children in some way.

Also, despite knowing that he had sexual feelings towards children, he voluntarily became a foster parent. I'm pretty sure anyone who is a paedophile and has no intention of acting on their impulses doesn't decide to fill their home with vulnerable children.

Bit of a coincidence, too, that one of the children he fostered developed a 'false memory' of being raped by him.

If I honestly thought he was someone who never acted on his feelings and had behaved responsibly and tried to get help, I'd feel sorry for him. But I don't think he is either of those things.

His wife is deluded.

TheSparrowhawk · 07/01/2017 22:19

Why would you have to live like a hermit? Other people manage not to rape, why not paedophiles?

Original poster
KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 07/01/2017 22:23

That was my thoughts exactly, that he said he'd done things he shouldn't have but never put his penis inside a child. He doesn't sound innocent making a statement like that.
The comment he made about his daughter as a new born disturbed me aswell.

OP posts:
EZA15 · 07/01/2017 22:23

What a fuckwit. An absolute fuckwit. - 'false memories' my ass

BIgBagofJelly · 07/01/2017 22:23

I guess you wouldn't have to live like a hermit but I don't think I'd feel comfortable being around children if I had sexual feelings towards them. I think being attracted to an adult is somewhat different in that if that adult realised you were attracted to them as long as you didn't act out inappropriately it wouldn't do much harm but for a child it might be scary and very confusing.

Bluntness100 · 07/01/2017 22:24

That just makes my blood run cold, says he did things he shouldn't, a foster child with false memories. He's a teacher and a foster parent? He thought about those things when changing his own daughters nappy? Doesn't find them attractive when they start to hit puberty and wear lipstick?

She's not crazy, at worst she's an enabler, turning a blind eye, at best she's desperately naive and well just desperate.

Just horrible. There is some really sick people in this world. And these two are just sick.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 07/01/2017 22:25

False memories sounds awfully convenient excuse and never penetrated means he's done something. If he had never touched a child in a sexual, it should be never touched.

Makes my skin crawl.

BIgBagofJelly · 07/01/2017 22:25

In his particular case though it does sound clear though that he did abuse children (why on earth become a foster carer if you know you're a peadophile). Unforgivable.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 07/01/2017 22:29

Also, I'm actually really offended that she's claimed paedophilia is a mental health condition.

Graphista · 07/01/2017 22:35

Sick fuckers the pair of them!

It is NOT a mental illness any more than wanting to rape adults is!

I think it's important to note it's not just men that can be paedophiles and that 'false memory' bullshit was debunked years ago!

Graphista · 07/01/2017 22:36

'Virtuous' my arse

Unconvicted paedophile is far more accurate.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 07/01/2017 22:37

Yeah, it just means he's never been caught. Either shes stupid and desperate or shes just as sick.

KayTee87 · 07/01/2017 22:43

Fucking disgusting.

Imagine how his poor daughter must feel knowing that her father thought he might touch her inappropriately as a newborn. I actually feel a bit sick.

SalemSaberhagen · 07/01/2017 22:46

I really, really wish I hadn't read this thread. A warning in the title would have been nice.

mrsC4 · 07/01/2017 22:50

My friends MIL has lost her only son and grandchildren because she stuck by her paedophile husband. Rotten bitch

Poshsausage · 07/01/2017 22:52

Ffs can tbis title be edited please clicked thinking it wa about some cheating husband
Feel ill now
My memories most certainly aren't false

NightTerrier · 07/01/2017 22:56

I can't bring myself to read the article. So, I've read the thread instead.

YANBU, it's utterly repugnant and it sounds as if the man has done something he shouldn't and the false memory is dodgy as fuck.

I don't understand why an adult woman would stand by someone like that.

Soubriquet · 07/01/2017 22:57

He's a sick bastard

Mental health condition my arse

She's a twat for sticking by him and the "false memory" was a very clever answer wasn't it Hmm

Bluntness100 · 07/01/2017 22:57

Op, ask mumsnet to add a trigger warning to this thread please. I think the link indicates what it is, but the article details an active yet unconvicted paedophile. He clearly indicates he's been abusing young girls. I have nothing like this in my past, so no trigger, but as I have a daughter, it also makes me feel sick to the core.

NightTerrier · 07/01/2017 23:00

Calling pedophillia a mental illness is pretty offensive IMO.

SpartacusWoman · 07/01/2017 23:06

He's not virtuous at all.

His own words "maybe I did something I shouldn't have" indicate he's an unconvinced peadophile and I feel sorry for the girl he says developed "false memories" of him raping her.

I hope that his going public gives any children he may have molested and raped the courage to come forward and report him.

JangleBalls · 07/01/2017 23:14

Calling pedophillia a mental illness is pretty offensive IMO.

It's in DSM 5.