To Hate people who constantly faff.

[1980sChick]

I hate being in the presence of them, sadly my dp is 1.

I was upstairs cleaning the bedroom and changing beds when he popped up to inform me that he and ds were getting hungry and what did I have in mind for tea... because that's obviously my domain. I said if he went and cut the chicken up with a bit of veg we could have pasta bake.

That was 5 o clock, it's been 45 minutes. I expected the pasta bake to be in the oven by now but no, instead I'm greeted with dp who has nearly every bowl we own out in front of him ( when he cooks it's like he's doing his own cooking segment on tv with all the bits in the bowls). He has taken to sharpening the knives instead of using them and is now finding the perfect song for his cooking experience andwhen I comment that he's taking too long, I'm the unreasonable 1.

It's like this with everything, this morning his mum called round and we had no tea bags, he said he'd pop out to get some, he disappeared upstairs for a shower 1st then ironed a outfit, spent 10 mins on his hair then appeared downstairs to ask which brand to get, his mum had left 30 mins before he came down.

How on earth do you live with people who faff, there's no sense of urgency at all with him and it drives me mad!

DD is the faffer here. DH however will simply wander off if not told we are leaving the house RIGHT NOW. Which is mildly irritating but MY GOD not a patch on some of the stories here.

I would however like to add that years ago a friend was working in the US and told his colleagues he was late for work as he'd been faffing at home. They were all appalled as they were sure 'faffing' was a Brit term for wanking Puts quite a different spin on this thread.

aintnobodygottimefodat 'Prepping'. Prepping, fucking prepping. It is DP's favourite thing to do and it is def code for faffing!

1980's Chick - hilarious, laughed out load and cried at Amy Winehouse tribute band!
I share your pain though - my DH spends 2 hours at least washing up a few pots. Busy doing nothing comes to mind.

I'll just say yes to all of the above I thought mine was the only one!

Oh God, I feel your pain!! its like they think the world has a pause button especially for them!! I cannot STAND it!

There is a woman at work like this, and whilst she is a lovely person I dread Wednesday when I am working with her, everything is a drawn out, slow PALAVA and she can't manage to do simple tasks on her own. Even though she is my senior I end up rolling my eyes, leaving her to talk about what we are about to do and go and do it!

Then there is my DP, fuck me! HOW can he make a ready meal that takes 20 minutes to cook take nearly TWO FUCKING HOURS..... I don't know how he manages to do this but he does. He also manages to use every bowl/plate/utensil in the house and does he then wash them up? Does he fuck!!!

He gets it from his mother! I remember once taking DD to the zoo for her birthday, we asked BIL to come with his son. BIG mistake, he turned up late and at MIL's so we were already running late. Decides that we will go in his car, fine. Then we get half way there (London zoo so lots of traffic) and he pulls into the garage for petrol, fine. Then he pumps up the tyres then, THEN decides to clean the fucking car, not in the drive through one either - I was sat silently fuming!!!!

We went to MIL over xmas and we were going for a meal. I booked the table for two hours after we agreed to get to MILs. So we are getting ready to leave, she says "oh could we call into the crematorium on the way" err, no we cannot, it is at least 20 minutes in the opposite direction to the restaurant and the table is booked for 15 minutes time . I felt bad saying no but had she mentioned this when we arrived we could have gone! Leaving her house is a nightmare, you need to "leave" at least an hour before you need to leave!

These things drive me to distraction

Just DH having a shower is a bloody faff. He doesn't something he calls "running it through" so the shower is hot when he gets in.

Running through takes a couple of minutes, then he turns it off, has a poo, runs it again, turns it off, has a shave, then eventually runs it & gets in

So fucking annoying, especially as I think he's finally in the shower so we can get on with getting on, but he's running it through

It does take a while to warm up, admittedly, being the furthest tap from the tank, but I turn it on while I'm halfway through cleaning my teeth & step into a hot shower.

*does not doesn't - argh

my DH walks soooo sloooowly. if I need an emergency wipe or tissue paper he positively ambles . grrrr!

my DH walks soooo sloooowly. if I need an emergency wipe or tissue paper he positively ambles . grrrr!

Argh this thread is making me seriously stabby

Ex was like this. We'd have to be somewhere at 12. 30 min drive. I'd be ready in loads of time, kids all sorted, bags packed, everything in the car. 11:00 he'd announce he was getting ready, then sit for 10 mins playing on his phone. Then he'd go upstairs, I assumed to get ready. Nope. 5 mins before we need to leave he decides to go out for a fag, THEN shower and get ready. Serious fucking rage, every single time. He was just such a thoughtless cunt. I actually stopped going on holiday with him because leaving for the holiday, and leaving for days out while on holiday were so fucking stressful there was no point.

I'd forgotten about all this until I read this thread.

My df was a right faffer, we used to be always waiting for him as dc and we were always late to dgp if visiting. He used to take ages to get dressed in the morning.

DH isn't like this. I may be slightly in comparison but I am organised and get to where I need to go.

I have a Big Garden, it's a little undernourished. The shovels are in the shed & we were drinking wine watching a box set.

Oh god thank god I haven't got the only DH like this. II don't like him helping me cook in particular. I once was cooking a pasta dish and DH offered to help. He spent 20 minutes chopping a fucking onion to go in it. Everything else was ready by the time he had finished chopping the bastard thing. How can it take 20 minutes to chop an onion?! He says I'm too independent and don't like help, but the truth is that I don't like him helping because he's so bloody annoyingly slow and faffy. Honestly it's quicker for me to do things on my own.

He has no urgency ever. The sheer number of times he has been late for work is unbelievable (and every social arrangement ever). And when he is late (say he's 20 minutes late for work already) I'll find him in the kitchen slowly making himself a sandwich or casually playing on his phone. I'll come in and be like 'erm, aren't you late for work' and he'll be like 'yeah I am a bit' before casually wandering off.

DD (age 3) has already begun to show signs of faffiness! She'll say "I need a wee" then instead of going to the toilet she plays with a couple of toys, gets some sort of princess costume on, faffs in the snack cupboard, plays some more, then tells me off because she hasn't had a wee yet!

Ok so for a 4 year old whose bedtime is 7 he's only just gone to bed as getting him dressed for bed involved going through the dryer for matching pyjamas.

Sorry for bringing back so many awful memories for some of you!

I think I need to become more like your husband and rediscover the joy of actually living life with gusto, instead of rushing through it like a headless chicken.

I feel sad for myself and great for your husband.

However, I do understand where you are coming from.

I am getting the Rage just reading these stories! It would drive me insane. Sometimes dh and I have differing opinions on the importance of morning chores (I'll need help with breakfast and he'll decide to do the laundry first) but he doesn't faff, he sees a job needs doing and sorts it.

I'd be divorced several times over or in prison if I had to cope with some of the above.

thethings I'm there! He eats a lot of avocados so he'll probably be good for your soil 😉.

On a side not...fucking avocados, why not ham and cheese! Of course...avacados cause more faffing

My sister stayed with me recently, I love her dearly but can that woman faff. At 8 am she suggested making 'lovely scrambled eggs for breakfast'. Great. At 12 there's still no sign, she had a bath face timed her husband, looked at you tube videos.

At my fathers funeral she stayed with her husband. Funeral at 10, I was waiting to drive them. At 9.30 her husband decided he'd like a 'lovely bath'. I left leaving the number of a taxi company. 10 years on they're still aggrieved.

googlebabe I sometimes feel the same. He told me tonight I suck the enjoyment out of everything for him. ☹️ I did feel sad for him but at the time he was talking about cooking.

The enjoyment I'd apparently sucked out was his knife sharpening session and listening to YouTube. I can live with myself.

His entire family know that if he has to be somewhere he'll be late due to still doing his hair or polishing his shoes at the very last minute.

I'm getting frustrated reading these KIIILLLL THEM! KILL THEM ALL!

I've remembered more about my sister when my father died.

I went to the airport to pick her up from a transatlantic flight. Our father was dying, she knew this. He wax asking for her. On the way from the airport to the hospital she asked off we could stop at a hairdresser to she could get a quick wash & dry. We didn't stop. At the hospital she had to have another cigarette before going up to him. Dad died while she was having the cigarette. I think he just got bored of waiting!!!

My DH comes from a family of faffers, all a good 3 hours late for everything, use every dish in the house to cook, cant find anything when you need it types. I think it was because his mum never worked so faffing was her way of getting through the day.
Im like you lot, too busy to faff, and DH is now improved to only 30minutes late normally. My Pils though are a lost cause

Is it normal for toddlers to faff? My two year old is one of the worst faffers in the world, second only to her father.

I have genuine concerns it is genetic.

This is my ex. We were once almost missed a flight because he decided to mow the lawn just before we had to leave.
Making meals was just torture, hours of faffing around, sharpening knives, cleaning out cupboards, a quick run to Tesco for something random.