To Hate people who constantly faff.

[1980sChick]

I hate being in the presence of them, sadly my dp is 1.

I was upstairs cleaning the bedroom and changing beds when he popped up to inform me that he and ds were getting hungry and what did I have in mind for tea... because that's obviously my domain. I said if he went and cut the chicken up with a bit of veg we could have pasta bake.

That was 5 o clock, it's been 45 minutes. I expected the pasta bake to be in the oven by now but no, instead I'm greeted with dp who has nearly every bowl we own out in front of him ( when he cooks it's like he's doing his own cooking segment on tv with all the bits in the bowls). He has taken to sharpening the knives instead of using them and is now finding the perfect song for his cooking experience andwhen I comment that he's taking too long, I'm the unreasonable 1.

It's like this with everything, this morning his mum called round and we had no tea bags, he said he'd pop out to get some, he disappeared upstairs for a shower 1st then ironed a outfit, spent 10 mins on his hair then appeared downstairs to ask which brand to get, his mum had left 30 mins before he came down.

How on earth do you live with people who faff, there's no sense of urgency at all with him and it drives me mad!

[LauderSyme]

Oh dear, I'm a faffer. I know I am. My family might have mentioned it once or twice.
I don't know why I am though.
I annoy myself quite often as I seem to find it impossible to just get things done.
I do tend to be ultra thorough once I get going, so things take longer, but I also faff terribly before I get started.
I don't have a dp; going by this thread they would be the poor soul most irritated by me.
But after seeing the levels of rage and frustration here, I am going to have a serious word with myself and try to better preserve my loved ones' blood pressure in future!

[1980sChick]

What is with all the knife sharpening before cooking, even simple cheese on toast takes a good 40ish minutes!

[1980sChick]

nellyphants 😮 But you're wording did make me grin

[seven201]

He is also my husband.

[DeathStare]

hen I went in with the death stare!

I was never in your bathroom 1980sChick

[DrCoconut]

Another faffing DH here. We are frequently late because he decides to do something irrelevant to the days plans a few minutes before leaving. Once a week I take DS2 and 3 out for two hours. DH is supposed to blitz the kitchen. I get back to find he's filled the dishwasher with the breakfast/night before stuff and then been for a poo! The floor is still unwashed, bin full etc.

[1980sChick]

😭😭😭@deathstare!

[ToneDeafHamster]

My DH faffs. It is infuriating, but after 16 years I know there is no chance of him changing. Only this morning I got cross with him for making us late AGAIN. He just has no sense of urgency, its not normal! I don't think I have ever seen him in a rush. Never.

[HopelesslydevotedtoGu]

I hear you OP

My DH needs to find the perfect song on Spotify before starting any task, especially anything exercise related
He used to spend ages psyching himself up for a short run - making a stove top coffee, doing a poo, scrolling through Spotify, checking himself in the mirror, trying to find the perfect tune to start.
Since we've had kids he now races out the door asap before I ask him to do something!

He is a terrible judge of time - recently he said he would be "five minutes behind" me and the kids. He turned up 75 minutes later (after me phoning him to chivvy him along) and was shocked when I told him how late he was.

Friends invited us for brunch, he said he'd leave after me as he wanted to order new lightbulbs online first. He was showered, dressed and otherwise ready. He arrived ninety minutes late, by which time we had all eaten and the other couple were leaving. When the lightbulbs arrived they didn't fit our sockets.

[DeathStare]

I mean I can go in there if you like but I might drown him in the bath. I too hate faffers

[romanrainsalot]

you know what is a bad as faffers? Incompetence.

DH has a long term condition that he needs meds for (to do with his brain). He effed up getting his prescip over Xmas. I've just asked him how long his prescrip lasts him as I am going to take over control of re-ordering (tried to avoid it but just too many fuck ups over yrs). He doesn't know, despite taking the same daily amount.

He's lived with this condition for the last 20 yrs ffs.

[1980sChick]

Ahh about 5 minutes too late deathstare 🙁, he friend is due here in 15 mins, to collect him on the way out.

He is currently lying naked on the bedroom floor again with phone in hand with YouTube on researching stretches for football injuries.

He has no clothes picked out let alone ironed, wet hair but has perfected a yoga pose he's just come across - which now he will regain everyone about all night lights no and forever more.

[HopelesslydevotedtoGu]

When he tidies the kitchen he spends ages stacking plates in the corner, putting all the cutlery in a pile, piling up the bowls and cups. With an empty dishwasher next to him. Which achieves diddly squat as everything is still dirty. Until I later come and transfer everything to the dishwasher. Why not just put them in the dishwasher first? Complete waste of time. I snapped at him when I saw him stacking plates earlier and he was really confused!

[dollydaydream114]

is it normal for toddlers to faff

One of my nieces was a faffer as a toddler and is still a faffer now at 13. My brother and her mum are divorced and I didn't ever see that much of her mum, but apparently she's a faffer as well. My other nieces and nephews are not unduly faffy at all.

I remember watching my brother trying to get his kids ready to leave the house and they were all ready to go except my niece, then aged about eight, who was sitting on the floor with her baby doll meticulously changing its nappy because she apparently couldn't leave it behind with a 'dirty' one (having only decided this about two minutes before everyone was due to leave). The nappy change entailed her going to the bathroom to get a baby wipe in order to wipe its bum, which she did with painstaking care, then she had to find the right matching clothes in its changing bag ... if she'd been my kid I honestly think I would have had to physically lift her out of the house.

[Badhairday1001]

I can't stand faffing either.

[Potplant]

Oh I'd forgotten about the Spotify playlists. That's another hour of arsing around, making a playlist of songs to be the soundtrack to the faffing about. Which was more or less the same songs. It in a different order.

[Gooseberryfools]

One weekend I took the kids out Saturday and DH took the kids out Sunday. The idea was to get up and out early so the other could crack on with DIY.

I packed the rucksack the night before, including sandwiches. Clothes, coats, walking boots all laid out ready. Kids knew the plan to get out early. So on Saturday the kids were up at 7 and we were out at 7.50am.

On Sunday DH had a sleep in till 9, then a shower and a leisurely breakfast, then packed the rucksack and got the kids ready. Faffed a lot. Left the house at 11.30am!!

[Clandestino]

Bar the birth issue, what's the problem with the dinner etc? Will you starve to death, be late for your plane or somebody's funeral?
If not, why can't you let go? Why can't it wait a bit? I'm a control freak but I worked hard on letting go because I realised I was walking around like some sort of a Christian martyr hanging on a cross with my eyes turned to heaven 'Oh Lord, look at my suffering!'
Pick your battles and you won't feel like getting the rage all the time.

[1980sChick]

Yes gooseberryfools mine has done this. An early start for me is up at 7 breakfast, get ready and out the house by 9 - 9.30

Dp will lie in till half 10, come down phone in hand, ask if there's anything for breakfast... start his breakfast by finding a good song to put on, decide he suddenly needs a poo......just goes on and on. On a day he is due to take ds out he usually leaves around 2 in the afternoon.

[PurpleMinionMummy]

No. I might stab him with hanger though

[SortAllTheThings]

Because it's rude being late all the time, and when it's not your doing its fucking irritating.

Because I don't have the luxury of spending 40 mins making a fucking sandwich. In that time I can get myself and two kids ready, fed and out the door in the morning. Why should someone who is supposed to be a partner take no responsibility in being on time, getting everyone ready?

[EustaceClarenceScrubb]

This is my DD in the morning:
Me: DD are you dressed yet?
DD: Yes Mum
Me: Are you really?
DD: Yes Mum
Me: You are still sitting on the bed in just your pants sorting through your lip balm collection aren't you?
DD: Umm..
Me: (Now slightly hysterical) Oh FGS the bus leaves in ten minutes why have you not even started putting your tights on etc etc.
EVERY BLOODY MORNING

And breathe.

[Evilstepmum01]

DH and I are both faffers, tho he has slight OCD. Seriously, his hair is 2cm long, how long does it take (and how many hairbrushes?).
The thing that gets me tho is we're (kids and me) are ready to go out and he's doing the dishes. Because and I quote: what if we;re in an accident and someone comes in to the house and sees the dirty dishes?.
then he gets in the car and.......waits. Fuck knows what for. Fannys about with his jacket/scrotum, then eventually starts the car and goes.
I have no patience with him.

[Blu]

DP is terrible,
When Ds was tiny his routine for taking him out would be to bundle him up in ludicrous amounts of warm clothing and then strap him into his buggy in the hall. THEN he would start looking for his keys. Remember a snack and drink for DS. Then go upstairs to re-stock the nappy bag. By this time Ds would be red cheeked and wailing with heat and boredom, so DP would unstrap him, take off his coat, then set off and find his own shoes and hat. Then re-bundle and re-strap Ds. Then look for his keys which he knew he had had in his hand only just now....

[woodhill]

Perhaps the faffers are more creative. My best friend of chldhood was like this, but always late.

Ooh my pil do my head in being early all the time.