To Hate people who constantly faff.

[1980sChick]

I hate being in the presence of them, sadly my dp is 1.

I was upstairs cleaning the bedroom and changing beds when he popped up to inform me that he and ds were getting hungry and what did I have in mind for tea... because that's obviously my domain. I said if he went and cut the chicken up with a bit of veg we could have pasta bake.

That was 5 o clock, it's been 45 minutes. I expected the pasta bake to be in the oven by now but no, instead I'm greeted with dp who has nearly every bowl we own out in front of him ( when he cooks it's like he's doing his own cooking segment on tv with all the bits in the bowls). He has taken to sharpening the knives instead of using them and is now finding the perfect song for his cooking experience andwhen I comment that he's taking too long, I'm the unreasonable 1.

It's like this with everything, this morning his mum called round and we had no tea bags, he said he'd pop out to get some, he disappeared upstairs for a shower 1st then ironed a outfit, spent 10 mins on his hair then appeared downstairs to ask which brand to get, his mum had left 30 mins before he came down.

How on earth do you live with people who faff, there's no sense of urgency at all with him and it drives me mad!

[dudsville]

That's sup posed to say that he'd made a 5 course breakfast!

[Mermaid36]

Oh God! The packing!
DH sometimes travels with work. He knows he is going in advance, yet even for a 2 week trip to India or Australia, he'll only even think about packing about 2 days or so before, and invariably need a new item of clothing so will have to rush out to buy it at the last minute

[Oysterbabe]

DH said he's going for a run an hour ago. He's just started taking the covers off the sofa cushions. Interested to see where he suggests we sit later.

[1980sChick]

It does seem to be a male thing doesn't it.

My ds had started going for a mid meal crap sometimes too. I nearly forgot the turkey curry incident at Christmas.

I hate turkey, the leftovers are usually cut up and fed to the cat and birds...this year dp decided he was going to make a curry with it instead, so I let him know it was all on him then. Good , he replied.

I enquired Boxing Day when this curry would appear? I'm looking for a recipe, Tuesday still no curry, I'm going the shop to get a few spices for it I was told to stop pressuring him at this point. Wednesday it took him all day deciding what to wear for a night out.

4am I'm woken by the sound of pans being moved about. He had decided the perfect time to make the curry was pissed at 4am in the morning. I left him to it and the next day, found some bits of turkey floating in a brownish water in the fridge covered in cling film. I then served it to him for his next 3 meals. If he cooks something he will never admit it's not nice so he ate the lot. 😀

[KitKat1985]

Ugh. We're going to try and take the DDs out to a local attraction today. DH announced he was going to have a shower in preparation for this 20 minutes ago. He's currently playing with DD1 in the living room. [commences breathing exercises]

[Mummyoflittledragon]

lacktoast. I know... I know....

[Mummyoflittledragon]

I love the curry story!

[MuseumOfCurry]

This thread has me chortling loudly and disrupting the dog.

[TheRattleBag]

Mine is faffing right now. Told him we need to leave at 10:10 to meet family for breakfast. He's still finishing a cup of coffee in bed, and I've just heard him say "I might need a poo" which will add at least 10 minutes to the delay.......... ARGH!!!

[MardAsSnails]

Yesterday we were both feeling utterly shite but the dogs still needed walking. As my shite was was due to injury rather than man flu having a cold, he took them out.

He got up, went to the bathroom. Had a shave, a shower, put on some aftershave, realised it's the one I'm allergic to, had another shower to wash it off, went to get his clothes out, couldn't find his shorts (he has many, many pairs, but wanted those ones), found them, got dog leads out,went for a shit, couldnt find his trainer socks, found his trainer socks, put trainers on, made me a brew, decided he wants a brew, made and drank his brew, went to the car for his sunglasses (because it was full fucking sun by this stage), came back to the house, went to make sure he doesn't need another shit seeing as he's had a cup of tea, left his phone upstairs so went to find it, couldn't find the dog so took a different one out (we have too many too big to walk all at once).

I got up, dressed and took the older dogs out when he was having shit nr 2. The younger one could hold it better so she had to wait for him.

Then he whinged at me because he said I could have a lie in and I got up anyway - faffing is annoying, but incredibly mean when the old lady dog has to hold it for an unnecessary extra hour!

[Lemond1fficult]

The faffing. Oh god. This is my DP. As just one example: he loves cooking. I can't allow it, because it looks like a flour-sprinkling, pan juggling poltergeist has been on the kitchen, and we end up eating at 10pm. If there's a recipe, he won't just choose something that uses the ingredients we have. Oh no, it will involve some kind of 20 ingredient ottolenghi nonsense and spending an hour at the shop and a tenner on obscure herbs and spices alone. Or.. my fave, looking for said obscure spices in THE CO-OP, failing, then spending a further 10 minutes blocking the aisles while he scrolls through BBC food looking for something completely different that he also fancies eating. Then putting back everything he's already basketed and starting the whole horrendous process again.

I do luff him though.

[SittingDrinkingTea]

If I was married to a faffer I'd be in prison for murder by now, just reading some of these stories makes my blood pressure soar. One of my closest friends is a terrible faffer, as is her DP, I honestly don't know how they function, although I suspect most of the time they don't. Last summer they planned a day out with their DCs at a castle about an hour away, complete with picnic lunch. They apparently faffed so much by the time they got to the castle it was closed, so they ate their picnic in the car then drove back home!

[Gingernaut]

Nellyphants - Funeral at 10, I was waiting to drive them. At 9.30 her husband decided he'd like a 'lovely bath'. I left leaving the number of a taxi company. 10 years on they're still aggrieved.

Genius.

The magic words are "I'll see you there at "

Never let these bastards buy/carry/look after the tickets, let them bear the consequences of their actions and don't allow yourself to be tarred with brush.

Get yourself armed with the numbers of reliable taxi firms and call a taxi which will show up when you're supposed to leave to get there on time.

"I'll see you there."

[TheBadgersMadeMeDoIt]

A PP mentioned taking ages to go to bed which made me squirm with recognition. This is us:

DH: I'm going to bed.
Me: OK. See you there in a bit.

He doesn't move. Picks up laptop and pisses about with it. 10 mins later we have the exact same exchange. Again, he doesn't move. Flicks channels on the TV. Sighs. Scratches his arse.

Me: I'm making cocoa. Do you want some?
DH: No, I'm going to bed.

Doesn't move. And so it goes on...until I go to bed.

[TheBadgersMadeMeDoIt]

And he accuses ME of faffing at bedtime because I change into pyjamas, have a wash and take my contacts out. He just dumps his clothes on the floor and gets under the covers.

My bedtime routine takes about 5 mins. It takes him hours to get from "I'm going to bed" to actually being in bed.

[RubyWinterstorm]

You gotta love a guy who cooks a curry, pissed, at 4am

[Mrstumbletap]

My DH used to be a monumental faffer, but I feel after many years together I have sped him up a bit.

What helped was always fibbing about the time we needed to be somewhere/people would arrive/the train is etc. If the train is at 11:15, I would say the train leaves at 10:55. If friends were due round at 7:30pm I would say they are coming 6:45pm.

If he suggests cooking something elaborate for dinner and it was 5pm I say "what are the chances of it being ready at 6pm." We won't eat until 6:30pm, but it used to be 7pm. So it's getting better. I want to kill him less

[OhMrBadger]

When DS2 was born, PIL very kindly arrived to look after DS1. They stayed nearby in a hotel but were on hand if needed. One morning I asked DH to take DS2 out swimming with PIL. Midwife due to visits and I wanted some peace and quiet to discuss feeding problems.

It quickly transpired that without direct supervision DH was about as much use as a trapdoor in a lifeboat when it came to ushering a small child out the front door. It was agony to watch. Multiple trips up and downstairs, emptying cupboards, faff, faff, faffity McFaff.

In the interim PIL have arrived and proceed to join in the general McFaffery.

The midwife arrived as scheduled and they were all still there twatting about. 3 grown adults trying to organise one 3year old's swimming gear. When the finally went out, the midwife just sighed and said "sometimes it's just easier to do everything yourself isn't it?"

Yes. Yes, it is.

[OhMrBadger]

DS1 swimming. The 3 year old not the 3 day old!

[bastardlyandmutley]

I've got a faffer too. I seem to spend a huge amount of my life stood at the front door, coat on ready to leave just waiting for DH. When we finally arrive at our destination I will get out of the car and start making my way towards the shop and without fail he will be nowhere to be seen, having had to return to the car for some unknown reason. EVERY time.

Lunchtimes are infuriating. He can't just have a sandwich like a normal person and slap a bit of cheese and pickle between two pieces of bread. No matter how late it is he will have to embark on some culinary expedition that will involve using every piece of kitchen of equipment. In the meantime I am ruddy starving and staring at my ham sandwich whilst my cuppa goes stone cold.

People find it funny, his "little foibles" but jeez living with it is infuriating.

[Topseyt]

Another one from my DH. This from some years ago.

He used to be tasked each morning with dropping then teenage DD1 off at the school bus stop (bus stop was in the next town from us, but on his route to work). Often she would be waiting in the car while he farted about finding his shoes, keys etc.

One morning when they were already running late he was in the hall making yowling noises at the cat, who was staring at DH as though he had sprouted two heads.

This caused DD1 to miss the school bus, and was one of numerous occasions when DH's faffing caused him to have to drive her all the way to school, making himself late for work in the process. He still never learned, though she tweeted about that incident at the time and he gained a bit of notoriety amongst her friends as faffeur extraordinaire too.

[Rachel0Greep]

I laughed at the curry story, especially as the faffer ended up eating it for three meals. I can't abide faffing though!

[Trills]

It does seem to be a male thing doesn't it.

Nope.

There have been examples of sisters, MILs, and even the rare few self-aware female faffers who have said "it's me".

The majority of posters on MN are women with male partners, so in any discussion of "annoying habits", there will be more stories of men being guilty of the habit than of women - especially when the habit is one that is much more apparent when you live with someone.

[Trills]

I have a (female) friend who is a faffer.

Recently I was at another friend's house waiting for her and received a text saying she was "just leaving".

Friend I was with asked "Did she say she was in the car, or about to leave the house?" If it was the former, she'd put the oven on, if the latter, nothing is starting til she actually shows up.

[littleme2016]

This thread is giving me the rage.

My ex was a faffer always waited until the last possible minute before we went out to pay a lengthy visit to the toilet, look for his keys/shoes/coat, text or phone someone, play a quick game on the console.

My DM also does it. Declares she's going upstairs to get ready for going out. Fifteen minutes later shes still putting a wash on, tidying the kitchen, phoning or texting someone....