AIBU to not help out another parent?

[arethereanyleftatall]

More of a wwyd.

Dds best friends mum has just texted to ask if we could pick her dd up every week and drop her home from an activity they're both about to start doing. We technically could, we're going anyway and it would only add about 5 mins extra to do the drop off on way home. But....over the years this will we well over 100 favours we have done for them. I haven't particularly been counting but there's been a term of getting her from school and having her for tea, a term of picking up and dropping at another activity etc. I have had to ask them for a favour a handful of times over the years and every time it's 'we'd love to help but can't because of x'. It will be my dh picking up, and I know he'll just do it no problem, but it's really beginnng to piss me off. Wwyd?

She isn't tied into the arrangement. All she has to do is send a 6 word text any day she can't do it.

And hosted one of two play dates with her best friend, then it would be OK. It's about give and take, the mum is take take.

She has, and has quite rightly said to the mum that they will share it, as its fair, the mum has agreed. So she will see. Op obviously feels used by this person, and when you have that feeling, you just don't to anymore.

I agree that in a few weeks she will not be able to do her turn. As others have said give her the benefit of the doubt once and then the next time you must tell her that you can't bring her dc home as you are going somewhere straight after the club,

It's better op is honest now with her, and upfront, then agreeing to the arrangement and feeling used and restful and not wanting to do it anymore.

She'll weasel out.

I reckon that arrangement will last for 3 weeks.. if you're lucky.

If she doesn't keep to the arrangement then you just say you can't do it any more. Simple. There are some people who you give an inch and they take a mile.

plan your strategy for when she starts manoeuvring you into doing it all. she'll be busy one week or some such crap. all completely reasonable of course. make sure you even it up somehow.

But I see no reason why a child should miss out because of having dicks for parents if I can help it.

Who says the child would miss out? The parent would simply have to make an alternative arrangement. There are such things as taxis, after all.

You draw the line when it becomes inconvenient.

It's already become inconvenient, right from the point when the other mother took the piss once too often.

Giving a lift to someone who's going to the same place as you is not inconvenient!

But they aren't going to the same place.

I've had to get taxis or bus to activities when dh is at work, she should do that then! Or pay op everyweek something towards her trouble. Its the parents job to get them to activities that they have signed their children to, if a lift is offered great, if not, nevermind.

I agree Fidelia some people need that to make them realise that the person means what they say. She's probably thinking, good old arethere, she will pick up dd anyway so not to worry!

I suspect she will do it once or twice and then let you down, safe in the knowledge that you have to go and collect your child anyway as you aren't in a reciprocal arrangement with someone else!

Why don't you do one way each every week? Harder for her to wriggle out of.

I think she'll weasel out too, but baby steps, good luck!

Don't do it! There are some people who don't like asking favours unless they are really desperate(I'm one of them), then you get others who think nothing of asking favours. Favours which they would object to, but expect other people to do fort hem. They're a type aren't they? I have I won my life and I had to make up excuses and lie to get out of things.
What your woman is asking is not a favour, it's a long term contract for which you're not getting any reimbursement for. Just say you can't.

Update!
So many of you wise ladies were right. She did first pick up, we did second; in diary were her next and us following week (both to suit her - she couldn't do second or fourth week) Now I've had a text from her along the lines of 'I can't do next week cos of work. Can you do it?'
Help with response please!
(Note we can do it and will do if required as don't want my dd missing it to prove a point, and dh won't go along with pretending they have to go somewhere else after drop off).
I've thought of:

1. Sure, we can do it. So will you be doing the following 3 pick ups as we are doing 3 in a row?
2. Can your dh leave work earlier?

Wwyd? It's ironic that I will feel so mean sending either of those texts, when actually both are completely fair.

I'd reply with 'sure, I can swap, which one of mine would you like to swap with?'

Cant you just say that because the pick ups agreed and in your diaries that you have an appointment that you can't change

Yup offer to swap.

Like it Edwin! So simple. Thank you.

That didn't last long did it OP?

I agree with ceecee otherwise she will do this every week. What would she do if your DD decided she no longer wanted to do this activity?