AIBU to not help out another parent?

[arethereanyleftatall]

More of a wwyd.

Dds best friends mum has just texted to ask if we could pick her dd up every week and drop her home from an activity they're both about to start doing. We technically could, we're going anyway and it would only add about 5 mins extra to do the drop off on way home. But....over the years this will we well over 100 favours we have done for them. I haven't particularly been counting but there's been a term of getting her from school and having her for tea, a term of picking up and dropping at another activity etc. I have had to ask them for a favour a handful of times over the years and every time it's 'we'd love to help but can't because of x'. It will be my dh picking up, and I know he'll just do it no problem, but it's really beginnng to piss me off. Wwyd?

Ask if you can share it even if you know they can't or say it would be great if we could share this ? It might politely make her think ??

I don't think most people count favours to make sure they are exactly 50:50, but when there starts to be a huge imbalance and you feel that you are being taken advantage off and your help is presumed, then that starts to build resentment.

Time - both doing our own drop off.

When is the class OP?

Get her to do both drop offs and you pick up.That way you will see when she is taking the piss.And i bet you anything she does.

That's a good result for you. But I bet that it doesn't last. Fairly soon you'll start to get calls saying she can't do her turn .

That's brilliant. You are absolutely not BU to want her to reciprocate sometimes - otherwise she's taking advantage of you.

OP lets hope this is not the only week!

Blimey. So why didn't she offer to share in the first place, rather than ask you to take her dc there and back every week. Cheeky fecker.

Just because she says she'll do the first week doesn't mean she's planning on doing alternate weeks!! My £ says that she'll be "busy" the third week...

I agree opal. It almost makes it worse!

Having a lack of faith in people, i bet she is doing this as a bare minimum and will feel justified in sending a last minute message in weeks to come saying she can't do the pick up and ask you to do it instead.

OP - you have to stay in touch with us and let us know how this turns out

Exacatly Opal, so that means she could have done, it, but can't be arsed. If she starts piss taking, be assertive and take no rubbish.

I have doubts about her reliability

Be prepared OP. She might have something come up 'unexpectantly' on the night and need you to go instead.

On the second time she pulls out with an excuse, tell her it's not working and it's better if you both sort yourselves out. Till then, enjoy the sharing of the duties!

Good advice Buttery

Yes do what butterymuffin said

bert the favours are between the op and the other mother, not the op and the child! So op is dealing with the child's mother, who is piss taking, rude and cheeky! With your thinking, where do you draw the line! Oh arethere can you take my child to dance? Oh can you collect my child to school? Can you babysit? op will be a free for all and be doing favours for parents forevermore, because its not the child's fault their parents are piss takers! You have to draw line somewhere and say enough is enough!

Good for op, I hope that the life sharing works out!

"With your thinking, where do you draw the line!"

You draw the line when it becomes inconvenient. Giving a lift to someone who's going to the same place as you is not inconvenient!

If she pulls out last minute make sure that's the last time she gets a chance.

Don't end up being sucked back in.

The problem for the op is if the other parent reneges on pick up she has no choice but to go and collect her dd and being a decent person will take the other wee girl home thereby giving the arse parent the precise scenario she wanted in the first place. The only way to avoid it is by being brutal and saying "no problem I'll pick up my dd but that leaves the problem of how your dd gets home are you planning on sending a taxi for her?" I know the op would never do that though and so does the arse parent which is how brass necked bastards like her continue to get away with it.

Bert it becomes inconvenient, as soon as the op is unhappy with the arrangement, and she is! The mum signed the dd up for classes, it is her responsibility to take her. Op has clearly had enough of this mother constantly taking advantage of her good nature. Even though they are going the same place, this is op line that she has drawn, especially as it was assumed by the girls mother, that op would be taking her every week, forever more! It is op right to say no! Whether it is 5 mins down the road or 55 mins away.

It's not just about them going the same way, op is then tied into an arrangement. Mabey just Mabey if the mother had better manners, and appreciated op, then she woukd have done this, no problem.