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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so annoyed with other drivers 'waving' me on

329 replies

TheresaVGreen · 04/01/2017 08:49

I am quite happy to wait until a natural break in traffic to continue with my turning right manoeuvre thank you. I do not need you to come to a complete stop for me (which is dangerous and against the Highway Code), holding up everyone behind you, to then wave me on and get frustrated with me when I don't immediately take you up on your kind 'offer'.

I think I'm almost getting to the point where I am simply not going to move when I am waved on, and wait for the other driver to continue driving.

AIBU to be frustrated with drivers who take the rules into their own hands like this?

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 04/01/2017 08:51

Yes.

Imavinoops · 04/01/2017 08:52

It pisses me off when the driver stops, waves you on but doesn't even see streams of traffic coming the other way and then gets annoyed you didn't go!

Wtf!

So I'm supposed to drive into oncoming traffic because you're waving your hand at me? Yeah... no.

NathanBarleyrocks · 04/01/2017 08:52

Eh? They are just trying to help. You sound a bit too nervous to be driving to be honest.

Seeline · 04/01/2017 08:52

Here in London you'd never get anywhere waiting for a natural gap in the traffic. It's a miracle if anyone stops to let you through.
I don't take a wave and/or flashing of the headlights as an indication that it's safe to proceed - that would be stupid. I do acknowledge the other driver's kindness, and then make a show of checking whether it is safe.
If you are in a slow moving queue of traffic, you are not really holding anyone else up to let one driver cross in front of you. I suppose it would be a bit different if they jammed on the brakes on a dual carriage way or something, but I can't say I've ever seen that happen.
YABU

Manumission · 04/01/2017 08:53

YANBU.

It's almost always men and (as you say) they're almost always wrong.

AQuietMind · 04/01/2017 08:53

If this is a regular occurrence it sounds like it is You holding up the traffic behind you.

Clarkly · 04/01/2017 08:53

I'm sick of dickheads slamming their brakes on to let people out. Does my head in

Manumission · 04/01/2017 08:55

Here in London you'd never get anywhere waiting for a natural gap in the traffic. It's a miracle if anyone stops to let you through.
I don't take a wave and/or flashing of the headlights as an indication that it's safe to proceed - that would be stupid. I do acknowledge the other driver's kindness, and then make a show of checking whether it is safe.

Ah but those drivers don't do the wave/beckon thing do they? They do the less imperious open palmed "would you like to?" gesture.

Different thing entirely Smile

Skang · 04/01/2017 08:56

This annoys the shit out of me. Especially when they are the last car in the bloody queue and you have already geared yourself up to go once they've gone past.

Original poster
TheresaVGreen · 04/01/2017 08:56

I am definitely not a nervous driver and am both bemused and amused that you think so.

I am simply reaching my limit regarding people stopping to 'let' me turn, which they really shouldn't be doing.

OP posts:
MadameWoods86 · 04/01/2017 08:57

Eh? They're just being kind. How odd to get annoyed by that. Agreed when drivers slam their brakes on it's annoying, but generally I appreciate courteous drivers letting me through.

Original poster
TheresaVGreen · 04/01/2017 08:57

Me too, Clarkly!

OP posts:
letsgomaths · 04/01/2017 08:57

I agree (and I used to be a driving instructor). My advice was always: "never tell anyone to go, by flashing or waving". The fact that it's so deeply ingrained is why "flash for cash" scams thrive. If I want to give way to someone, I hold back, but I don't flash, wave, or even make eye contact: it has to be their decision to go.

However, because so many people do it, sometimes there's no point being right when the rest of the world is wrong. Take pride in making your own decision whether to go or not, especially if you see the cyclist or motorcyclist overtaking the person flashing or waving frantically.

DreamingofthePeaks · 04/01/2017 08:59

I second the notion that open palmed gesture is the most polite way if you are going to let someone go. Same goes for letting a pedestrian cross in front of you. I live in the South East and I simply cannot bear the 'waving' - more an instruction than an offer. It is rife here.

Sixisthemagicnumber · 04/01/2017 09:00

I live in an area with a lot of elderly drivers and they frequently stop to let people out who are trying to turn right. It's just as well you don't live where I do otherwise you would get annoyed every time you went out in your car. All you need to do is check that it is safe to proceed when somebody lets you out.

Seeline · 04/01/2017 09:00

Ah but those drivers don't do the wave/beckon thing do they? They do the less imperious open palmed "would you like to?" gesture.

Not sure what you mean here manu It's a full range of waving, open palm, enthusiastic head nodding, light flashing, or just basic leaving a space in the queue across a junction. Whatever the method, I am only too happy to take full advantage of their offer and cross the bloody road Grin

Manumission · 04/01/2017 09:03

Maybe I'm just picturing the waving drivers as being a very specific tribe Smile

Waitingfordolly · 04/01/2017 09:04

YANBU. Sometimes it's useful if you are at a junction where you might otherwise be stuck for ages, or the driver waving you on is already at a standstill for some reason, but other times it doesn't make any sense. The rules of the road are there for a reason to create certainty as far as possible in what everyone is doing, as uncertainty is more likely to lead to problems.

Sixisthemagicnumber · 04/01/2017 09:04

Whatever the method, I am only too happy to take full advantage of their offer and cross the bloody road

Me too.

Seeline · 04/01/2017 09:05

I'm just amused that you describe London drivers as less imperious, and seemingly more polite than others. I didn't think anyone thought that of Londoners Grin I don't think we have our own tribe....

WellErrr · 04/01/2017 09:07

YABU. And a bit odd.

Manumission · 04/01/2017 09:08

I'm just amused that you describe London drivers as less imperious, and seemingly more polite than others.

I no. I didn't mean Londoners. I meant the open-palm gesture was less imperious than being energetically gestured at (which is plain bossy). Drivers are a mixed bag in or out of London.

justanotherusername0 · 04/01/2017 09:08

Yabvvvvvu!
And you obviously don't live in London!

BigusBumus · 04/01/2017 09:10

I don't get why this is unreasonable at all. Confused

I sit there thinking, "Come on someone wave me across"! And am extremely grateful when they do!

Can't fathom why people being nice pisses you off!

MaidOfStars · 04/01/2017 09:11

Are you talking about turning right from a main to side road and an oncoming driver pausing to let you cross their lane?

If the traffic is heavy, YABVU, Highway Code or not. While you're waiting for a natural break, the traffic is piling up behind you?

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