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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so annoyed with other drivers 'waving' me on

329 replies

TheresaVGreen · 04/01/2017 08:49

I am quite happy to wait until a natural break in traffic to continue with my turning right manoeuvre thank you. I do not need you to come to a complete stop for me (which is dangerous and against the Highway Code), holding up everyone behind you, to then wave me on and get frustrated with me when I don't immediately take you up on your kind 'offer'.

I think I'm almost getting to the point where I am simply not going to move when I am waved on, and wait for the other driver to continue driving.

AIBU to be frustrated with drivers who take the rules into their own hands like this?

OP posts:
raindripsonruses · 04/01/2017 11:04

Queen, or, if is safe to slow down, you could just let them out rather than swerving and getting angry. Unless they are driving a BMW or a 4x4 in which case, as I said previously, they can feck off! (Only partly joking )

StillMaidOfStars · 04/01/2017 11:05

You end up swerving around them. It's bloody annoying and dangerous
If you think they are behaving dangerously (and I agree, sometimes it is), why do you not just let them out instead of swerving around them (another dangerous behaviour). FFS, people can be terrible on the road, rude and aggressive, trying to take chances. But it seems some other drivers are determined to not give way to these assholes to the extent they are doing dangerous stuff themselves.

QueenMortificado · 04/01/2017 11:06

Ummm, absolutely not. The onus is on the driver to stay in the safe position until there is a gap in the traffic.

I live in London and where I am there isn't much time of actual driving before you have to stop again at traffic lights, roundabouts etc. I'm definitely not stopping again to let some twat out who is too impatient to wait his turn.

QueenMortificado · 04/01/2017 11:09

Oh, and I don't mean swerving on to the other side of the road, I mean moving closer to the centre of the road but still on your side, iyswim

MaidOfStars · 04/01/2017 11:09

Cross post with rain

It reminds me of a family member I know who allowed someone to sideswipe him because the guy wanted to change lanes on a roundabout. Not ideal of the other driver, I know, but sometimes people get lanes wrong. Family member told me: he was wrong and i was prepared to let him crash into me to show him that. Fucking idiot - the insurance claim went 50:50 because it's not on to refuse to avoid an accident (which family member could have done).

Pious drivers. Determined to be right, even if it turns out to be dangerous.

MarmiteDoesYouGood · 04/01/2017 11:09

*Ummm, absolutely not. The onus is on the driver to stay in the safe position until there is a gap in the traffic.

I live in London and where I am there isn't much time of actual driving before you have to stop again at traffic lights, roundabouts etc. I'm definitely not stopping again to let some twat out who is too impatient to wait his turn.*

I believe that's called cutting off your nose to spite your face. Yes, the other driver is in the wrong, but if it's safer to let them go (and you admitted yourself that swerving around them is dangerous) then you are letting your ego and emotion put your own safety at risk.

Doughnutsmademefat · 04/01/2017 11:10

If traffic is slow moving and I have been waiting for ten minutes or so, I will try and edge out. It's unbelievably rude to drive round someone doing that rather than let them out. It's also far more effort for the cars doing that, but they have to make their 'point'.

MaidOfStars · 04/01/2017 11:11

The onus is on the driver to stay in the safe position until there is a gap in the traffic
I agree. but some drivers don't.

Would you cross partly to the other lane to swerve around the twat? If it was free, obviously. Just curious.

blitheringbuzzards1234 · 04/01/2017 11:11

"Yes but" is my answer here. When I was a learner my instructor wasn't keen on this - he said that it puts you under pressure as you have to get a move on and as you say there may be a stream of traffic that they're not seemingly aware of. Better to find your own space safely. OTOH they're only trying to be helpful.

raindripsonruses · 04/01/2017 11:11

Queen, just spent a summer with an experienced NYC driver (in NYC). NYC far harder to drive in than London. Give and take AND standing your ground is what you do. Depends on the circumstances. Some you win, some you lose and you let it go. Get public transport if driving in the city winds you up so much.

StarUtopia · 04/01/2017 11:12

You'd hate to live in my road then.

There is literally no way of getting out onto the main road unless someone does stop one side of the traffic and then you have to hope the other side will stop too to let you get out!

YABU. In fact, if I stopped for you to let you out I'd be thinking ffs, just bloody pull out already will you!

I agree you sound too nervous to be driving.

LittleBearPad · 04/01/2017 11:12

What is far more annoying is those drivers who sit at junctions waiting to come on to a busy road and then just edge in to the road, drifting their nose further and further out really hoping that someone will stop and let them out

You end up swerving around them. It's bloody annoying and dangerous

No you let them out. Annoying but not dangerous. If they are going to be so pushy then just let them get on with it and be glad they are likely going in the opposite direction

MaidOfStars · 04/01/2017 11:13

FWIW, OP, I don't think anything you've said comes off as being nervousjust pious

MaidOfStars · 04/01/2017 11:15

italics fail That'll learn me.

LittleBearPad · 04/01/2017 11:15

And queen moving closer to the middle of the road whilst remaining in your own lane isn't swerving.

QueenMortificado · 04/01/2017 11:15

Get public transport if driving in the city winds you up so much.

Confused It doesn't wind me up so much, I'm perfectly happy to drive her thanks!

I am very surprised that so many people think it's reasonable to roll out in to traffic and that people should be able to stop and let you out. I only passed my test a few months ago so am rigorously sticking to the Highway Code still (!) and was taught absolutely not to do this.

QueenMortificado · 04/01/2017 11:18

them out. Annoying but not dangerous. If they are going to be so pushy then just let them get on with it and be glad they are likely going in the opposite direction

But you can't be absolutely sure how far they're going to drift out as they're doing it slowly, you've only just got going from the traffic lights so the road ahead is clear and you have lots of traffic behind you. So you know that person hasn't been waiting long because the road has been clear.

If you slow down and stop to let them out, all the traffic behind you also has to stop and everyone honks at you! Genuinely why would you let them out?

Not sure if I'm missing something here!

raindripsonruses · 04/01/2017 11:19

Queen, I bet you weren't taught to swerve in the road either. Sometimes you have to let em out. I try to see it as Driving Karma. One day, I will need someone to SAFELY show me some leeway. I get extra Karma if I show safe courtesy to aBMW driver or a 4x4 driver. Emphasis on safe, people. Let's all get home safe.

Doughnutsmademefat · 04/01/2017 11:19

Being a good driver is about give and take, respecting that other drivers need a hand now and then and not sticking rigidly to rules. Because it's nice to be courteous to others.

Doughnutsmademefat · 04/01/2017 11:20

In 25 years of driving no one has honked at me for letting another driver out.

QueenMortificado · 04/01/2017 11:21

Someone upthread said moving to the other side of the lane isn't swerving so maybe I just described it wrong

MaidOfStars · 04/01/2017 11:21

If you slow down and stop to let them out, all the traffic behind you also has to stop and everyone honks at you! Genuinely why would you let them out?
I thought you said you were describing a dangerous situation?

If it's dangerous, you are morally, if not Highway Code-ally, obliged to do what you can to minimise or remove the danger i.e. let them out.

If it's merely annoying - and I think this is more what you're saying, given that you aren't even crossing lanes to "swerve" - then you're going to have to grow a thicker skin Grin But I agree, I move around those nudgers where it isn't a problem for me to do so, but I wouldn't cross the central lines to do so - at that point, it's an obstruction in my lane and I brake.

MarmiteDoesYouGood · 04/01/2017 11:22

I am very surprised that so many people think it's reasonable to roll out in to traffic

Literally nobody here has said that. We just said that putting yourself at risk is an emotional response to people doing stupid things, and not a sensible one.

LittleBearPad · 04/01/2017 11:23

I only passed my test a few months ago

Sorry but this explains it all. As a pp says. It's driving karma.

You aren't sure how far they are going to come out? Assume they won't stop. Stop for them and let them go. If you get beeped take the beeps as actually directed at pushy mcpusherson and get on with your day.

QueenMortificado · 04/01/2017 11:24

Yep, it's just annoying. It feels a bit like the other driver is just rolling to test out who will stop for them, not that they will actually plough in to the side of you if you didn't stop.

I have a plenty thick skin, I thought this thread was just moaning about minor traffic annoyances! Of which that is one!