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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To allow ds aged 10 and dd aged 7 share a bed.

319 replies

EveOnline2016 · 03/01/2017 16:44

They have both got their own rooms but prefer to share a bed every night.

Ds has a double bed and there is enough room for both of them.

My mum says it's illegal, but surely that's not right.

OP posts:
cherrycrumblecustard · 03/01/2017 17:45

Misery, how did you know?!

1horatio · 03/01/2017 17:45

I don't see the issue.

If they want? I think telling them they aren't allowed would sexualise something really innocent and would be so so wrong.

LynetteScavo · 03/01/2017 17:45

I think its perfectly fine if they want to.

My DC had to share a room at a similar age. They hated each other so much one of the always fell asleep in my bed and had to be carried through.

They are 10 and 7....I actually think it's quite sweet.

Miserylovescompany2 · 03/01/2017 17:48

There are rules in place if you are in a housing association property or council owned one. Children of different gender should not share after the age of 10.

There are NO laws in place that I'm aware of?

OopsDearyMe · 03/01/2017 17:52

Wow OK guys puberty now can start as young as 8 !!! It is starting earlier and earlier. I would not allow this unless in an emergency.

Miserylovescompany2 · 03/01/2017 17:56

How did I know my child was going through puberty or having erections? cherryCrumbleCustsrd

  1. You could visibly see in the morning when he first got up (through PJ's)
  2. He asked why his part was growing and stuff coming out of it (he's autistic) so sex ed hasn't been covered. He's getting it now.
  3. His voice has broken
  4. He is also growing facial hair at 11
  5. Thick hair underarms and on legs
  6. Huge growth spurt (he's 5'3" now)

My eldest started at 8. He's 15 and needs to shave daily or he'd have a full beard.

I was 10 when I started my period.

Daydream007 · 03/01/2017 18:10

Of course it's not illegal. If my 7 year old wakes in the night with a nightmare she will sometimes go into her brothers room (he's 12). She likes it in there because the cat sleeps on the bed too! Totally innocent and lovely! When I was little I would often go into my
older brothers bed to get warm, he was 11 years older than me. Nothing sinister, just a lovely close family.

angeldelightedme · 03/01/2017 18:20

No your boy is too old.At 10 he would be very natural to be curious and even experimental

BertrandRussell · 03/01/2017 18:27

"No your boy is too old.At 10 he would be very natural to be curious and even experimental"

So it would be perfectly natural for him to sexually abuse his sister......

AliciaMayEmory · 03/01/2017 18:28

Wow, some really weird responses here to two kids who want to share at night. If the older child had said that they didn't want to share and it was being forced on them (or Vice versa) then I could see a problem, but not with the situation the OP has stated. What happened to 'let kids be kids'?

angeldelightedme · 03/01/2017 18:33

So it would be perfectly natural for him to sexually abuse his sister......
I think the temptatation would be there

orangepudding · 03/01/2017 18:33

My DS8 and DD12 often have sleepovers in each others rooms. A few nights ago I found DS8 and DD15 sleeping together in DDs single bed. As long as they are both happy I can't see the problem.

Writerwannabe83 · 03/01/2017 18:39

My sister has two children, a 10y/o DS and an 8y/o DD and I would find the idea of them bed sharing very uncomfortable as it just doesn't seem appropriate at that age.

TataEs · 03/01/2017 18:43

definitely not illegal. what an odd thing to think!

SnatchedPencil · 03/01/2017 18:44

It's not illegal.

Bloody weird though.

Aridane · 03/01/2017 18:46

^So it would be perfectly natural for him to sexually abuse his sister......
I think the temptatation would be there^

seriously?

BertrandRussell · 03/01/2017 18:47

I am utterly horrified at son of the reactions on here......

AmeliaJack · 03/01/2017 18:54

There are some weird responses in this thread!

Isadora2007 · 03/01/2017 18:56

Nothing wrong with it at all!

Ds1 and dd1 had their own rooms but chose to share a room til they were 10 and 7 ish. Maybe 11 and 8. It's nice that they got on so well and they both knew that when one chose not to then that was fine too. They are now 19 and 16 and still close. Though they don't share a bed now! 😂

OP ignore all the hysterical crap and angst and just let your kids share as they like. It won't be for very much longer anyway.

LynetteScavo · 03/01/2017 19:05

So many posters thinking 10 year olds who are going through puberty will want to have sex with their younger sibling. Confused

cherrycrumblecustard · 03/01/2017 19:10

I don't think he will, but I do think there's a sort of line of being inappropriate and this sort of stuff is very much on the milder end to it, if you see what I mean.

AmysTiara · 03/01/2017 19:10

Angel that is a bizarre and utterly disgraceful thing to say. Ffs.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 03/01/2017 19:25

I am in the don't worry camp .

My friends DC snuggle up and mine would too if I let them

Your son will want to stop naturally when his puberty kicks in I would
Imagine

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 03/01/2017 19:26

I don't let them as they will wake each other up
Not because of anything sinister Sad

AmeliaJack · 03/01/2017 19:31

angel I'd be interested to know if you personally have a son and a daughter because that's quite an odd conclusion IMO