Page 12 | To allow ds aged 10 and dd aged 7 share a bed.

HerRoyalFattyness · 04/01/2017 22:27

A fireball?!

HerRoyalFattyness · 04/01/2017 22:27

X post! The furball is not my friend. He stays away from me.

RebelRogue · 04/01/2017 22:41

but he won't hug her and rest his head in them like he does to me because she's his teacher and I'm his mum.

Some of the kids I work with do that. They'll say i love you, I missed you, they'll come for cuddles or sneakily inch in and rest their heads on my shoulder. Once i ended up with about 3 kids all over me. Mostly it happens when they're tired,upset or poorly. In once case it's because of sensory overload and he feels safe with me qnd playing with my sleeve or bracelet. I know it's blurring the lines, i know som(most?!?) people would be outraged but i just don't have the heart to turn away a 6 yo looking for comfort.

NotLadyPrickshit · 04/01/2017 22:48

Rebel my brownies were always coming in for hugs thankfully I knew the majority of them since nursery so not really an issue with the parents but other leaders were horrified when we were at events - the time I kissed my own DD on the lips was hilarious!

They're kids looking for comfort.. if it was my kid & I wasn't there I'd hope someone would offer it to them.

HerRoyalFattyness · 04/01/2017 22:59

rebel I work with kids too (well, 2 year old) and I always give them a hug if they need one, but there is a difference in how they hug their parents and how they hug other adults. I often get 3 or 4 kids wanting a hug all at the same time, but it isn't the same as with your own children.
If DS1 needs a hug at school then of course comfort him. I wouldn't see that as blurring the lines though as he wouldn't go for a hug and snuggle right in like he does with me. I don't know if I'm making sense here but I know what I mean!

JessieDoops · 04/01/2017 23:20

What is the world coming to? Be careful because your opposite sex children want to share a bed? For goodness sake... What happened back in the day when there was only one bed for all four children to share?

My older brother and I shared a bed until goodness knows when. We had separate bedrooms and had our own beds, but i would always crawl in with him at a night time, he pretended it bothered him but really he was pleased to be the "caring big bro" I was afraid in my own room and preferred to be with him.

I don't think it's inappropriate at all

SanityAssassin · 04/01/2017 23:39

What would you make of us - go to bed in own beds but we all wake up all over the place! This morning DH had gone to spare room for peace as DD (wriggler) had joined me in our bed at some point in the night then once I got up DS got in to my warm patch to snuggle DD.

angeldelightedme · 04/01/2017 23:43

Sorry to have to be so graphic, but I think I have to be because some posters on here are so clueless about children and sexuality!
You do understand it is perfectly normal for children(both boys and girls) to enjoy pleasuring themselves from as young as 4.Why do some people think that it might not occur to children that rubbing on or by another person might not be even better.It might even happen by accident to begin with.It is not depravity, they just don't know any better!

Italiangreyhound · 04/01/2017 23:44

EveOnline I don't know if you are still reading or not but ...
"They have both got their own rooms but prefer to share a bed every night." I would try and find out why your daughter wants to go in the bedroom all the time. Is she sacred at night. Address the 'issues' making her want to share his double bed rather than ignoring this.

"My mum says it's illegal, but surely that's not right." it's not illegal but it is not advised by the NSPCC. And I would take what they say, as a leading children's charity, seriously.

RebelRogue · 04/01/2017 23:46

angel so no sharing of premises,beds,baths at any age ever? Cool.

Italiangreyhound · 04/01/2017 23:46

I think a ten year old boy and a seven year old girl should not be regularly sharing a bed, it seems a really silly thing to do. Disrespectful to the girl particularly.

I have tried to read most of this, although there is a lot of it.problemisafunnyword, RebelRogue, ChippyDucks, problemisafunnyword and Writerwannabe83 and SarcasmMode I am so sorry about you ro your family expereinces.

SarcasmMode the fact your experience was not about sharing the same bed and not about sharing abed with a boy doesn't mean having opposite sex children of those ages sharing beds is a good idea, IMHO.

"I just hate sex coming into it as such a young age. Once that innocence is gone it's gone for good. As soon as it happens sex is everywhere you can't escape it." I'm sorry but pretending everyone is very innocent until sex is talked about openly is not really facing reality. You don't have to tell kids that they can't share a bed in case one abuses the other or in case anything happens, you can just say it is normal for kids to have their own beds past a certain age.

Italiangreyhound · 04/01/2017 23:51

ll87 "i feel it's sad most posters seem to think it's a problem as they are different sexes sad my dsis and i were sharing a bed well into our late teens - i see no difference in one sibling being a boy!" Then sadly you do not understand biology and socilisation of children in our society.

sirfredfredgeorge "Why are same gender children fine, when opposite not - all the meaningful concerns are as relevant to same gender as opposite."

Well generally when there is abuse it is normally men or boys assaulting wowen or girls and if the girl is younger than the boy then I think thaht puts the girl at a disadvangte. I am not saying that of any posters on here, simply why generally I would be more worried about an older boy with a younger girl in a bed together in a family. The fact people cannot see this seems very short-sighted.

SarcasmMode I certainly don't want to demonise boys, but I also don't want young girls growing up thinking that it is fine for men to make unpleasant comments about their boobs and having to share a bed with a male relative on a regular basis, or worse still a bath.

MuseumOfCurry "I'm once again living in a parallel universe. It would never occur to me to separate a 7 and 10 year old on this basis."

Do you mean that as a good thing or a bad thing,?

The fact it had not occurred to you doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

Italiangreyhound · 04/01/2017 23:53

I'm still catching up with this interesting thread but wanted to say to Crumble and others, you are not alone, I think some people are being very naive.

AmeliaJack · 05/01/2017 00:22

angel why wouldn't they "know any better"?

I can't be that unusual in raising my children that bottoms are private and that you don't ever touch anyone else's bottom?

angeldelightedme · 05/01/2017 00:27

But they may not understand it is any more seriously wrong than say pinching a chocolate without asking or burping at the table

AmeliaJack · 05/01/2017 00:46

Yes they do angel.

It's really not difficult to teach.

my children would never take chocolate without asking

MuseumOfCurry · 05/01/2017 09:42

I think a ten year old boy and a seven year old girl should not be regularly sharing a bed, it seems a really silly thing to do. Disrespectful to the girl particularly.

Why is it particularly disrespectful of the girl?

Cakingbad · 05/01/2017 09:59

A ten year old boy will have erections. He will have wet dreams. If not now, then soon. He loves his sister. He sleeps with her every night - just the two of them. The brotherly love becomes erotic love. Then an incestuous relationship.
This might not happen, but it's not unlikely is it? Why would you risk it?

Italiangreyhound · 05/01/2017 10:23

I think it is particularly disrespectful to the girl, MuseumOfCurry, because in our society, regardless of what we as parents teach, girls' and women's bodies are sexualized and we are excepted to not make a fuss, not see anything wrong in sexual comments, and to be flattered by unwanted attention.

Men and boys are not expected to put up with things in the same way.it is good to show girls they are worthy of respect and privacy. In these situations, just as we do boys.

I think the younger child is at a physical disadvantage, as is the female child in mixed sex 'scenarios'. So if one child is younger and female they especially need their parents/s to look out for their interests and should not be expected to have to ask for privacy.

NotLadyPrickshit · 05/01/2017 10:24

My friends twins share a bed every night - they've had singles, bunks you name it but they always end up in beside each other so they now have a king size in their room at their request - Caking are you seriously suggesting that this puts them at a greater risk of having an incestuous relationship?

They've been together since the moment of conception that's just where they are comfortable!

problemisafunnyword · 05/01/2017 10:28

I think the younger child is at a physical disadvantage, as is the female child in mixed sex 'scenarios'. So if one child is younger and female they especially need their parents/s to look out for their interests and should not be expected to have to ask for privacy.

Well said!

Cakingbad · 05/01/2017 10:31

My friends twins share a bed every night - they've had singles, bunks you name it but they always end up in beside each other so they now have a king size in their room at their request - Caking are you seriously suggesting that this puts them at a greater risk of having an incestuous relationship?

The thread is not about your friends twins. It is about a 10 year old boy and a sister who is three years younger.

CaraAspen · 05/01/2017 10:38

"NotLadyPrickshit

My friends twins share a bed every night - they've had singles, bunks you name it but they always end up in beside each other so they now have a king size in their room at their request - Caking are you seriously suggesting that this puts them at a greater risk of having an incestuous relationship?

They've been together since the moment of conception that's just where they are comfortable!"

How old are your friend's twins?

CaraAspen · 05/01/2017 10:39

"Italiangreyhound

I'm still catching up with this interesting thread but wanted to say to Crumble and others, you are not alone, I think some people are being very naive."

I agree.

Cakingbad · 05/01/2017 10:48

some people are being very naive

This ^^

Most adolescent boys are very easily aroused. That's why they don't sleep with their younger sisters. Ten year old boys become adolescent boys ... literally overnight.