To allow ds aged 10 and dd aged 7 share a bed.

[EveOnline2016]

They have both got their own rooms but prefer to share a bed every night.

Ds has a double bed and there is enough room for both of them.

My mum says it's illegal, but surely that's not right.

Well, that's been covered I think and I'm not comfortable with any brother commenting on his sisters boobs any more than I would be a girl commenting on her brothers penis, but that's just me.

I think OP has dealt with this well; I do agree with an earlier poster about bullying.

He complained about her boobs in the same way as he'd have complained about her feet or her knees or her arm getting in his way when he was sleeping not in an "OMG her boobs touched me & it was horrible & I felt weird" way because to him they're just a part of his sisters body.

Fine, but the girls at school might not be impressed. Or his teacher.

Fair enough. I just don't understand why anyone would be uncomfortable as it's clearly not sexual from any side.

OP has dealt with it well and is confident her children will come to her if they ever feel uncomfortable. I don't think bullying would be an issue tbh. Why would it come up in conversation? How many pre teens do you know that discuss sleeping arrangements?

You don't have to focus on something for it to come up in conversation.

Oh I know, I just can't imagine a conversation where it would come up. I just can't picture how it would come round to that

Crumble I don't particularly give a shit if his teacher will be impressed to be honest - if he wants to sexualise a part of my 15yo's body I think he'd be more worried about how unimpressed I would be!

If it's just a body part then "miss, your boobs are in the way" would be fine to say.

Except it wouldn't be, would it.

Sorry but if you're sexualising two primary-age siblings sharing a bed - you're part of the problem.

Lululovesfruitcakes 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

My concern here is that the more the boundaries are blurred at home, the more they are blurred outside the home and I do think that ten is a good age (if not before) for recognising that things can be inappropriate without being 'awful.'

Although sleeping with your sibling - when both children enjoy the experience of the sleepover - is not inappropriate, nor does it blur any boundaries around inappropriate touching (if that is what you're implying by blurred boundaries)

If you mean me I have said several times :) things can be inappropriate without being sexual.

In your opinion Sir

Several here disagree with you. Many agree of course, but it's not a given 'oh totally appropriate, if you don't agree you're

I wouldn't expect the class teacher to be positioning herself so that her boobs are in his face... that would be inappropriate although his teacher is male so that's not an issue this year.

But big boobs just get everywhere, apparently

cherry actually yes, that would be fine. And I had teachers laugh with me when my DS1 said similar. He was in reception and said something about not being able to see when she leant over him to pass something to another child "because your boobies are hiding my paper" she laughed, said sorry and moved. Nothing sexual in it at all. She mentioned it to me when we went for parents evening. She said it was great how he wasn't afraid to say what he was thinking.

Genuine question crumble if it's not the sexualised aspect that's inappropriate then what exactly is inappropriate about siblings sharing a bed?

Yes, for reception that's cute and funny. It wouldn't be cute and funny in year 5, and this is what I'm saying - that things become appropriate, or not, depending on the child's age. I don't think we're going to agree here and op has indicated what she plans to do :)

Most agree though Cherry - and rightly so.

I'm curious - in what way, exactly, are sibling sleepovers "inappropriate" for children?

My 15yo & her 17yo sister share a bed on occasion - is this also inappropriate?

But cherry he's now 8 and if his teachers boobs hid his paper when she leant over the desk, he would tell her.

I'm another wondering what exactly is inappropriate. If it isn't sexual then what? Where exactly is the inappropriateness?

Lady I don't think its a blanket "it's inappropriate." In this case, what made me think it was inappropriate is the children wanting to sleep together - every night as far as I could see - despite having beds of their own.

But why is it inappropriate? What deems it to be inappropriate in your mind?

I have way different ideas of what's appropriate then. My ten year old (in a few weeks) would not dream of commenting on boobs in any context in the classroom.

But maybe instead of saying "that's inappropriate" you could say "that wouldn't be a regular occurrence here, are they both comfortable with it?"
"Yes, OK, crack on then"
There's no inappropriate about it. Just because it's not what you would be comfortable with, doesn't mean the OPs (or anyone elses) children are uncomfortable.