To have sex in my own house when we have guests?

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My friend and her 4 year old ds turned up at my house for New Years with the intention of staying six days (this is a whole other issue, she knows I have a deadline coming up next week and I am stressed). Her visit, and the last just before Christmas, has been a constant series of put downs ranging from remarking on my father's "failing business", questioning my parenting, naming my dd a sociopath and a "mini Donald Trump" (she's FOUR!) and gaslighting me regarding my mental illness.

This evening, at half 12 at night, dp and I had sex. We were very quiet, although the bed creaks slightly. Afterwards, I went into the kitchen where she launched into a tirade about how I could have waited until her son was asleep.

AIBU to think that a small child should really be asleep at 12:30, and that I should be able to have sex in my own house without being made to feel guilty? I feel like I'm being shamed for having an active sex life.

what was the outcome op

Try to get your flat back OP. Even if she is a good friend of yours, having this level of hostility and intrusion isn't great for your DP/DD.

Hope you are OK now meridiem, but honestly the ops situation doesn't sound as bad as all that. I understand your anxiety now though. Take care

Hope you've got to the bottom of your friends issues. Otherwise I'd be kicking her and her kid out asap.

I hope you've had time to sort it out with your friend. Let us have a quick update, just so we know you are safe

What happened?

Any update at all. I really hope you had a go at her, she needs to go home.

Hi all sorry Internet went down. She went home late last night without having the chat that she promised we would have. I plan on texting her tomorrow morning but have no idea where to start. The last day of her visit she was fairly pleasant. No personal attacks,

Though DD was still often in the wrong while her D'S was "confused

Whenever he antagonised my daughter or lied about her doing something. I just don't know where to go from here. I'm not really in a state following my mc to start an all out war.

Sorry about the broken phone posting too early!

OP, your "friend" sounds EVIL.
She needs to leave, I'm angry for you.
How dare she threaten to snapchat your brother?!?!!?

Do you need to go anywhere with this if you haven't got the energy? She was so, so out of line, you don't owe her anything, could you not just ghost her?

I'm so sorry you're struggling

I'm glad she's gone.

I don't think she adds anything positive to your life, does she? Before you text her, give it a good hard think. Is there anything in this 'friendship' that adds to your life? If not, then don't bother texting, just let things drift apart.

If you feel she does have something to add to your life, you'll just have to make a resolution to see her on her own, away from your family.

Surely you don't need to go anywhere with this now. Just back away from her, she texts you leave it a long time to reply. She telephones you say can't stop now, speak later and don't. You never invite her round again and if she turns up say its inconvenient.
You don't owe her anything.

Tell the bitch to get the fuck out of your house and to never darken your doorstep again and have sex with your partner while your telling the stupid childish nasty bullying bitch.

Good grief - she has only just gone?? And without explaining her diabolical behaviour?? I am glad she behaved herself for the remainder of the stay but frankly she could have been nothing short of angelic and still not really made up for what she put you through. I would keep her at a very long arms length from now on. The fact that she can behave so abysmally towards a good friend (esp when that good friend has just suffered such an awful loss) means that ether she is an utter bitch and has just kept it well hidden until now, or something very serious is going on in her life (in which case, sympathy but she shouldn't have taken it out on you).

OP said she went home on Wednesday.

You don't need to go anywhere from here and you don't need to text her.

You need to look after yourself and recover from your ordeal with her, which comes on top of having a mc.

Have a peaceful weekend with the people, who love you and are important to you. And get some rest. X

Easy, text her saying "Was lovely having you to stay. Please don't come again'

I'd let her contact you rather than you contacting her. Personally she sounds like a TOXIC friends.

snapchat her brother and tell him she was a cow

Shitty behaviour doesn't automatically make for a shitty person. While I agree her behaviour was absolutely horrid, I can totally understand where you're coming from with this OP. If this is a long time friend who you have always gotten along with brilliantly, a sudden change in her behaviour must be very worrying for you. I would rather attempt to get to the bottom of the problem first than wave a sudden goodbye to someone I'd always considered a good friend. While I don't condone her behaviour for a minute, I think a little understanding and forgiveness can go a long way. If this woman has some serious issues going on, I suspect you'd rather help her through them and come to understand them, than simply close the door on her. Now she may or may not be receptive. It may just be that the friendship has run its course and you need to come to terms with it. But at least in trying to offer an understanding ear, you'll know you did what you could to try and salvage a friendship you hold dear.

As someone who has had troubles with mental health over the years, all I can say is I'm eternally grateful for the friends I have - they've been patient, understanding and ready to listen anytime I've fallen off the rails and become a crappy friend. I thank my lucky stars they didn't just freeze me out. And that goes both ways, as we've all had our share of troubles. We're all human beings. We're all flawed, complex and sometimes hard to understand. We all make mistakes and royally fuck it up sometimes. If I were you OP, I'd send her one last message and give her time to respond. Whether she does or not is up to her, but at least you'll have tried and one way or another - you'll have your answer. How about something like:

I'm not quite sure what's going on, but I am here if you need me. I hope you know that you CAN talk to me and I'll always try and help as much as I can. I don't understand what went wrong while you were visiting and I'm upset about the way you treated me and DD after we invited you to stay in our home. You didn't act like the friend I know and love, and I feel very hurt at the way you behaved. I would like to try and work through whatever it is that's going on rather than flush away a friendship I've always valued. I would like to think our friendship was worth saving. If you want to talk about it, I'll be ready to listen. If not, I guess I have my answer. I hope you both got home safely.

If this was a person who had consistently treated you badly, OP, I'd be inclined to say ditch the bitch. But you've mentioned that this is a woman who has always been a supportive friend and that her behaviour has changed very suddenly. That leads me to believe something is going on with her and she's not dealing with it very well. It's then manifested into treating you badly. Offer one final olive branch. Better to understand the problem than spend your whole life wondering why you didn't question what the hell went wrong

Op cut their 'friend' dead, I would have nothing more to do with her again!

Vinotime - that's a very thoughtful and appropriate response.

Call her. Say now things have had time to settle with your presentation etc you wanted to chat about what happened and her reaction. Gauge it from that but expect her to be defensive. Whilst she may have been a good friend in the past, I suspect the friendship has changed and isn't what it is or what you would like to be from before.