To have sex in my own house when we have guests?

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My friend and her 4 year old ds turned up at my house for New Years with the intention of staying six days (this is a whole other issue, she knows I have a deadline coming up next week and I am stressed). Her visit, and the last just before Christmas, has been a constant series of put downs ranging from remarking on my father's "failing business", questioning my parenting, naming my dd a sociopath and a "mini Donald Trump" (she's FOUR!) and gaslighting me regarding my mental illness.

This evening, at half 12 at night, dp and I had sex. We were very quiet, although the bed creaks slightly. Afterwards, I went into the kitchen where she launched into a tirade about how I could have waited until her son was asleep.

AIBU to think that a small child should really be asleep at 12:30, and that I should be able to have sex in my own house without being made to feel guilty? I feel like I'm being shamed for having an active sex life.

hmm because most of don't have the option to just walk away from difficult situations

Everyone has the option to control their own lives. Whether their choose to exercise that option is up to them.

She's not a friend. She needs to leave and not come back until she can behave like a normal person.

Thanks

Thanks for the replies. As for the ones implying I'm a troll I'm a bit

I wish this wasn't real but unfortunately this is my life at the moment and one of my closest friends has been behaving disgustingly towards me so those accusations aren't exactly helping.

With regards to my friend she said we'd talk more when we have the kids in bed and z walked into piles of freshly done laundry and her planning to make dinner so I think she feels guilty?

Also, I'm not really feeling up to just telling her to leave, and agree with posters saying there's something up with her so would rather get to the bottom of it instead of shove out someone who has previously been a VERY supportive friend.

Wow she has some issue's hope your okay and chilling with your daughter and husband

I think you're right OP.

Some of the replies have been a bit

She's not feeling guilty, she's trying to salvage staying in your house.

If she really is a very good friend, I might consider telling her she's been bang out of order and asking directly what's going on because she's behaving appallingly, doesn't want to leave and it's out of character.

Agree with Hermione's suggested opener above.

What Hermione said.

I think you're right too OP. Some of these replies have been completely OTT. You say she was one of your closest friends so I'm sure you want to hear her out and give her the benefit of the doubt. I hope you manage to sort things out. She's behaved badly yes but there must be a reason.

Hopefully she'll give you a good excuse for her behaviour.

Do kick her out if she turns nasty again though.

You are either VERY young or have had a uniquely carefree life. Yes of course we can all do what we please if we ignore the tsunami that can create. Most of us live in the real world though where consequences aren't always benign and we care about who we hurt.

Nope, neither of those.
Just old enough to realise that life is short, and that it's best to avoid people who create trauma or drama on purpose. If you care that you hurt people that are unpleasant to you, you'll waste your life. It's something that every adult should learn.

If you don't care that you hurt people your life is already less than it could have been

You're misrepresenting what I said. I don't care that people that are unpleasant to me are hurt by me removing them from my life as a result of their actions; any less, and you're a mug.

I think your friend is depressed and very lonely. Not making excuse, just think thats the case.

Good that she is trying to make it up with you. People aren't perfect. If she has been a good friend its worth trying to salvage a long term friendship and work on it.

Someone behaving badly isn't necessarily a bad person. Just like one good act doesn't make you a good person.

And that's why it's more complicated than "just cut them out forever".

OP you cant come on here upset and emotional stirring up a flame wielding mob of well meaning Mnetters......then calm down and take some sort of moral high ground saying the responses were OTT!

I'm glad you are talking to your friend, I hope you sort it out with her and your partner (or does he miraculously love her now?)

Stand down torch-wielding mob, all calm now, move along, nothing to see here..

She sounds like a knob.

Personal, violent, experience is the grounds I have for suggesting that. I have the scars, knife wounds and burns. There's nothing better that the police can do, than protect the innocent and vulnerable from a very unpleasant situation becoming irretrievable. I just hope the OP doesn't live in Wiltshire. I was strong enough to overcome it, many aren't and society owes them proper protection.

I hope you get to the bottom of it x

You are a better person than me OP!! If she is a great friend & this behaviour is totally out of character then I think you are doing absolutely the right thing. However, I would add the caveat that, once she has explained her diabolical behaviour and promised (if she does!) to not be such a bitch any more, any return to such behaviour would mean the immediate heave-ho. Good luck with the chat!